Page 25 of Breaking My Silence


Font Size:  

“I can’t take that chance. Max’s dad has money. He’d just pay to get it swept under the rug.”

“Maybe. It’s not my place to tell you what to do. Back to Ian, though. I really think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Trust him until he gives you a reason not to.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t cancel the lunch and movie date he talked me into today?”

“Absolutely not! What are you doing talking to me? You need to get ready! And put makeup on for once in your life.”

“He’s seen me without makeup before, Liss,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, as his tutor. You’re his girlfriend now. Trust me. Makeup,” she insisted.

“Honestly? We were out until like two minutes before my curfew, and my mom lost her mind when she saw him kissing me goodnight in the driveway. We had this huge fight when I walked in the door, and she tried to tell me that she never agreed to letting me date. I threw her own words right back in her face and she gave in, but it sort of killed the post-date buzz,” I sighed.

“I swear, your mom and my dad are like the same person,” she chuckled humorlessly. “My dad doesn’t even know I’m dating Eric. He’d lose his mind.”

Even though the initial spark in Melissa and I’s friendship had been instant, we’d quickly discovered that we had a lot more in common than just going to the same school. Her parents were divorced too, but her dad had primary custody because her mom had to travel so much for work and just couldn’t support a kid. And while Melissa’s father never laid a hand on her, the verbal and emotional abuse he dished out created wounds that never really went away. Just like the wounds my mother inflicted on me.

“Yeah, that’s probably smart,” I murmured. “So, anyway, I’m exhausted. I don’t know if I have the energy to dress up.”

“Your funeral,” she chuckled.

“You know what? If Ian wants to date me, he gets to deal with the fact that I don’t always put myself together perfectly,” I decided. “I’m not changing myself for him.”

“Okay, then. Let me know how that works out for you.”

“What about you and Eric? Sparks fly last night?”

“I don’t think you really want me to tell you,” she mumbled nervously.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. And she was right. I didn’t want to hear about it.

But something also felt off. Maybe it was the way she was acting like she was ashamed of it. Or maybe it was the fact that she’d only been dating the guy for a couple of weeks.

“You slept with him.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Liss, I’m not here to judge you, but isn’t it a little soon to be sleeping with the guy?” I asked. “I mean, youjuststarted dating him.”

“It’s been a couple of weeks. I get whyyouwouldn’t jump into bed with someone that soon, but this is different. He’s different. He was really sweet, and he took his time and made sure he didn’t hurt me. And he even texted me when I got home to tell me he loved me and make sure I was feeling okay, and then again this morning to see where I was and what I was doing today.”

Okay, maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it was normal for most teenagers to get physical that quickly in a relationship.

Oh, my God. Would Ian expect that? I’d told him I needed to take things slow, but what if his definition of slow was like Melissa and Eric’s?

“It’s not that I’m not happy for you, because I am. It’s just…”

“You don’t have to explain, Ky,” she said quickly. “I get it. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. But at the same time, I think you do need to hear this much. Eric’s a really good guy. I think Ian is too. Just because you had something terrible happen to you, it doesn’t mean everyone is going to be like that. Give Ian a chance. Let him in.”

Let him in? Tell him about the horrors I’d been through?

No. No way. I couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t believe me. If my own mother didn’t believe me, why on Earth would someone I’d only just started getting to know?

“I can’t,” I choked out. “I can’t…I can’t tell him.”

“Ky, if you’re going to be his girlfriend, you’re going to have to at some point. You don’t have to tell him right away, but if he does something that triggers you, he won’t know how to help you if he doesn’t know what happened to you,” she pointed out.

Crap. She was right. Even though Ian had been respecting my limits, I’d already freaked out a few times when he’d touched me. What if I had a full-blown panic attack? Would he even still want me after that?

Source: www.allfreenovel.com