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My eyes stung and a lump rose in my throat, but I swallowed it down, determined not to ruin this moment by starting to cry.
Who else would have actually made that distinction?
Instead of speaking, I just nodded again.
“I need to hear the words, baby,” he said softly.
“Yes,” I managed to whisper.
Our gazes locked as one of his fingers traced the scar from the bite mark on my left breast – which curved in arches above and below my nipple – and then he lowered his head to trail light kisses over it. I exhaled loudly, unprepared for how good it would feel to be kissed on such a sensitive part of my body. As much as I wanted to close my eyes and lose myself in the feeling, I forced myself to keep them open. Looking at him reminded me of who I was with, and seeing the love and admiration in his gaze turned me into a puddle of mush.
“Okay?” he murmured, his lips still touching my skin.
“Okay,” I breathed.
It was more than okay, but I didn’t know how to vocalize that.
His tongue followed where his lips had been just moments before, and I let out a whimper. When it circled again, but this time closer to my nipple, I gasped. And then it flicked over the sensitive bud, and I moaned at the tingling sensation of a thousand nerve endings being woken up after having been asleep for my whole life.
Rightly taking that as permission, Ian pulled the hardened peak into his mouth, sucking gently, and I sucked in a breath as I ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to keep his mouth where it was. He squeezed my waist, pulling me closer, as he trailed his mouth over to my other breast and did the same thing.
An almost foreign tingling began between my legs, and I closed them, squirming in an attempt to create the friction I desperately needed. Ian slowly draped his leg over me, snaking it between mine and pressing it up against me.
“Still okay?” he asked, claiming my lips again.
“Yes,” I whimpered.
“Take what you need, baby. I’m all yours,” he murmured, then returned his attention to my breasts.
I started to rock against his leg, testing how it felt, and grunted in frustration when I almost got what I needed, but not quite. This angle was wrong.
I tried shifting my position a little, and he lifted his head to look at me. I whimpered again, this time mourning the loss of his mouth on me. With another kiss, he moved his leg and then ran his hand down my stomach, toying with the hem of my yoga pants.
“Can I touch you down here, Ky?” he asked, looking me in the eyes. “Can I make you come?”
My breath came in short gasps as I considered his request. I honestly didn’t know if I could handle that…but I didn’t know if I could handlenotletting him give me the release I needed right now either. I’d almost gotten there a few times while we were making out, but I’d never felt comfortable letting myself cross the finish line.
But right now? When he was touching and kissing me like this? I thought I might lose my mind if I said no. At the same time, though, I didn’t know if I was ready to say yes.
God, I didn’t even know which way was up.
“You can say no, baby,” he whispered, giving me another kiss. “You canalwayssay no. It’s okay.”
“I’m not saying no,” I mumbled, averting my eyes. “But I’m scared I won’t be able to handle it.”
“Ky, look at me,” he murmured, putting his hand on my face.
I forced myself to meet his gaze. And God, the love I saw written all over his face…it was like he was baring his soul to me. Some people went their whole lives without ever finding someone who looked at them the way Ian was looking at me right now.
“I’m gonna need more than a ‘not-a-no.’” He kissed my nose. “I’m not doinganythingunless I hear an enthusiastic yes. Ever.”
Why was that all I needed to hear to be okay with this?
I was still nervous, but I wasn’t afraid. Not like that. How could I be afraid when he was putting such an emphasis on making sure he had my complete consent?
“Yes.” I took a deep breath. “You can touch me.”
His smile was blinding as he pulled me into a kiss that could have set this whole house on fire.
