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Or that the ocean would so huge. Or the animals so amazing.
I didn’t know a lot of things before I came to this island.
Back then, way before, my life wasn’t mine to live.
I sigh and take a good look at her face so I can memorize it … before the change. “I lived in a cage, most of my life.”
Her eyes widen, and her look changes … from curiosity to discomfort. It’s what I feared the most. And now it’s going to happen.
If I don’t tell her, she won’t accept me, and she won’t stay. But if I do, she might run anyway.
At first, she stares at me … but then a hand reaches for me. “Tell me more.”
It’s the first time in ages I felt something other than judgment. Something less than hatred. And it unwinds my heart. Makes me believe in hope. Maybe she could understand.
“My father used me as a fighting machine. Something he could earn money with.”
“He put you in there?” she asks.
I nod. “I didn’t know anything else. I was born in captivity.”
“Wow.”
I swallow away the lump in my throat. “He kept me there so he could use me.”
“What about your mother?”
“I’ve never met her. I don’t even know if she’s still alive.”
She lowers her eyes and bites her lip. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You can’t miss what you’ve never had.”
“Why …” she mutters. “Why would anyone do that to a person?”
“My father was awful. If I didn’t do what he wanted, he’d beat me.”
She cringes.
“As I said, I don’t have many good memories of my life before.”
“How … how did you end up here?” She places a hand on my arm.
I clear my throat and let out a sigh. “Sometimes, he’d let me out as a reward for winning a fight. Said I could look around. Explore. Each time, it would be a little longer.”
I grab a handful of sand and watch it fall through my fingers. “But he didn’t realize how much I loved seeing this world. This world is so beautiful. So green, and yellow, and blue. Everything tasted better, smelled better, felt better. The food I ate, the sky above me, the earth under my feet. The bustling sounds of the people in the towns. And my cage was just one gray stone mass. A concrete prison hidden from the world.”
She listens to me attentively, hanging on my words.
“Once I had a taste, I wanted more. So much more. I’d fight as hard as I could just to get out. I didn’t even care about all the women he threw at me. I just wanted to see.”
“Women?”
I take a quick glance at her. “My father wanted me to … make babies.”
“Oh.” Her entire face goes red. “But why?”
“So he could sell them.”
Her whole face turns white, and for a second there, I think she’s going to run or puke.
But she stays put and holds it down, clutching her stomach.
“So did you do it?” she asks after a while.
“Sometimes, but it never resulted in a baby. They were also very reluctant. I didn’t like it, and I quickly lost interest in them. My real prize was right outside the door, waiting for me. This lively planet and everything it has to offer. I felt like a kid every time I went outside.”
“I can imagine,” she says, smiling gently. “Your father … he sounds evil. Pure evil.”
I nod. “It’s because of him I don’t trust people. That, and when people see me, they literally run away. Maybe it’s my size, or my physique.”
“Or both,” she says, giggling, but then stops immediately when she sees my concerned face. “Sorry, go on.”
“Right. They didn’t see me the way you see me. All they saw was a monster …” I frown, gazing at the ocean ahead. “All I wanted was to be like them. To be free. To be seen. So when my father let me out for such a long time, I decided it was time for me to escape. To find a good place to live.”
“And then you settled here …”
I touch the sand underneath me. “This place is my home.”
“Is that why you don’t want people to come to this island?” she asks tentatively. “Because you’re afraid they’ll ruin it?”
If only that was the sole reason.
Knots form in my stomach as I’m forced to come to terms with my past. My future. My present. Everything that happened up to this moment led me to this place. Led me to her.
In all the beauty and the chaos, I found her.
And now she’ll be taken away from me by fear.
“No,” I reply. “It’s more than that. They … fear me. And they should,” I say, my hands forming fists.
She bites her lip even harder as I speak, but I continue, knowing that when I finish, she’ll want nothing to do with me.
