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Chapter Twenty-Four
Perfect Life 2.0.
“Okay, I lied,” he said, standing in front of me.
Rain hammered down around us. His dark hair was flattened and his eyes were lost in shadow. But, I knew them well enough to picture the apology and the sheer depth in them. And, it made me shiver from more than just cold.
“What?”
“I lied.” He took a step towards me. “We promised honesty, and I broke that promise.”
“How?” My heart skipped, tripped, and beat faster.
“Because I never wanted you to go out with Carter.”
“Sorry?” I asked, sounding a little more breathless than was ideal.
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t care at first. I was like, whatever, she can do whatever the fuck she wants–”
“Oh, good. So pleased,” I muttered.
“–but, then we spent every day together for two weeks and you got under my fucking skin, Piper. We went back to school and I just never wanted that day to come. I wanted him to… Fuck!” he yelled, then continued quieter, “I don’t even know.”
“What, Roman?”
“Anything.Anythingwas preferable to him asking you out. I felt like my life was split into before he asked and after he asked, and after was just going to be full of shit and misery. I saw it coming and I pretended I didn’t. Then, it happened and…I lost you…”
God, my heart fell over its own feet and wasn’t entirely sure if it should bother getting back up again yet or not. It was a lovely sentiment, but I really didn’t know how I felt – except sucker-punched…
Suddenly, I was rethinking this running after him in the dark thing. Sure, he hadn’t spoken to me since I’d seen him out on Saturday night. He hadn’t been at school that day and his no-show had seen me properly late for the first time in…well, forever. So, when I’d seen the tell-tale spark of one of his cigarettes out my window, I’d run outside and called his name. I’d called his name and asked him how he was as though everything was fine, as though everything was normal.
I was starting to think I really regretted that now.
“It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?” I asked.
“I couldn’t not tell you.”
I nodded. “Okay, well you did.” But, what was I going to do with that information?
“You didn’t just get under my skin, Piper. You got into my head. Into my heart. And, I can’t fucking get you out.”
Myheart felt like it was going to have no trouble clawing its way out of my chest at this rate. It was torn between running to him and giving up. Running to him was too hard and too painful. It was just going to give up, play dead, and hope no one bothered it for a while.
“I don’t…” I took a deep breath. “What do you want me to do with this?” I asked.
He shrugged. I had never seen him look so defeated. I had never seen him look so unsure of anything. “I don’t know. I’m no good for you, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that, Roman! A few months ago, I would have agreed with you. I would have said you were no good for me. Now, I’m not so sure.”
“How can you stand there and say that? You know me better than anyone. How can you believe that?”
“What were we doing, Roman? We hung out, we got along, you were there for me every single time I needed you, and we slept together. Apart from the whole monogamy thing, what we had seemed like a pretty good relationship to me.”
“Monogamy?”
“Yeah. Nifty concept. I assumed you’d heard of it.”
“Of course I’ve fucking heard of it, Piper,” he spat. “And for your information, I wasn’t with anyone else between that first Saturday in the holidays and last Saturday when I saw you and Carter…out.”
