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This time though, he didn’t stop. He got into his car and sped away.
h
Hadley suggested we go to the park again after school and that gave me the perfect excuse not to be going anywhere near the direction of home at the same time as Roman, so I threw myself into it with everything I had. And, I had a good time.
There was no Roman at the skate park to distract me. It was just me and my friends and my…boyfriend? We ate chips and the girls watched the boys play football while we talked about the boys. I was less of a dick around Mason and we got seriously called out when the others saw me kiss him, as awkward and chaste as it was.
As I dropped out of the bus after and started walking home, I felt good. Really good. Well, mostly good. I was focussing on the happy things and letting go of the things that made me unhappy.
Like not having Roman.
I hitched my bag onto my shoulder as I tried not to worry about it. Because, Roman got in shits; it’s what he was best known for. And to be honest, I got where he was coming from. I did.
Whatever we were now was strained and awkward and dredged up a whole lot of feelings that were super uncomfortable. But if Roman didn’t do feelings, why was he being awkward? I mean, I guess lust was a feeling – or was it an emotion? Either way, I got how that could make things weird.
Our admissions over the past week weren’t exactly the sort you should have with a guy not your boyfriend. But, we could care deeply about each other and just be friends couldn’t we? I mean, it was possible. People were friends with people and their bonds were tight – didn’t mean there was anything romantic or sexual in it.
I sighed.
Who the hell was I kidding?
I was just pretending again.
Roman and I had been practically dating, we’d slept together, we’d shared everything. In what universe could we be friends straight away? In the selfish one I’d created in my head, that’s what. Because let’s be honest, even those first few nights on the lake had been flirty. We’d been flirty and had sex before we really would have called each other friend.
So, patience.
I would be patient.
He said we’d find our way back to each other and I had to believe it. I couldn’t force it. I had to trust that our friendship was stronger than this weirdness I was probably solely responsible for.
And, it turned out trust was the right way to go.
Friday morning, Roman was leaning against his ute, cigarette in hand. When he heard my door close, he looked up and gave me a smile I suspected was meant to be welcoming but looked like it needed practise.
“Hey,” I said, failing to not be happy to see him.
He nodded. “Hey. You want a lift?”
I slowed. “Sure. Thanks.”
He shrugged as he pulled the door open for me. As I climbed in, he helped me with a hand to steady me like old times and we shared a smile. I am pleased to report that I felt no urge to kiss him or climb on top of him in his car – even if my heart did skip a little.
The conversation started stilted. But, by the time we got to school, we were both laughing hard at something ridiculous. We went our separate ways and only interacted via looks and GIFs all day.
“You’re in a good mood today,” Hadley said as she nudged me.
I looked up to find Roman and smiled. “I am.”
“You and Mason going out again?”
I watched as Roman skated across a patch of cement, saluted me and tumbled off his board. Biting my lip against a laugh as I looked down, I shook my head. “No set plans.”
“No…set… Okay?” Hadley answered as though her brain was moving too fast. “And, this is cause for celebration?”
I looked up at her quickly. “No! No,” I huffed a laugh. “I just…” I shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m just in a good mood.”
I squealed in surprise as arms went around me and Mason picked me up around the middle and swung me around. I laughed as he put me down and span in his arms.
