AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“He fucked up.”
“What do I do?” I asked.
“Where did you leave it?”
“He’s no good for me and we have no chance.”
“Well, that’s bullshit!”
“Hads, he said he couldn’t give me anything. There’s very little I can do if that’s what he believes,” I sighed.
“Okay… Well, his idiocy aside, can you keep going out with Mason knowing that you’re irrevocably in love with Roman?”
“Firstly, I am not irrevocably in love with Roman–”
“Aren’t you though?”
“Hadley!” I sighed. God knew I loved her, but she wasn’t always the most helpful. “Maybe I could have been, but we never got there okay? At best, he’ll be my ‘what if’.”
“Oh, because that’s better,” she scoffed.
“Okay, maybe not. But, Mason and I have a real shot here. I do really like him. He’s kind, he’s smart, he’s funny, he’s attractive–”
“He gets you. Oh no, wait, that’s Roman.”
See? Not helpful.
“You are not helping. And you’re the one who wanted me to date Mason in the first place.”
She sighed. “Look, all I’m saying is that maybe you and Mason both deserve better? You deserve the guy you’d otherwise wonder about and he deserves a girl who’s not wondering.”
“I thought Mason was my John Cusack? He’s the guy voted least likely, but he’s the guy who’ll win me over in the end, the guy I couldn’t live without–”
“By that definition, Roman’s your John Cusack.”
I glared at her and kept talking. “What do I do if I push away all of Mason’s sweetness and kindness and potential for Roman and it blows up in my face? In fact, it’s likely to blow up in my face. Roman doesn’t do relationships and I’m not going to waste my time trying to convince him. So, I’d have no potential and still have a ‘what if’.”
“You’re fucked.”
“I’m fucked.”
We sat in silence for a moment; the longest amount of time Hadley had been quiet in the almost life-time I’d known her. And, it felt comfortable. Other than all the Roman bullshit running around my mind, I felt totally at ease. There were no secrets between us and I could breathe easily.
“You don’t hate me for lying to you?” I asked finally.
She hugged me. “I’m annoyed, but I’m going to give you a pass since you were going through shit. But, only this once.”
“What would you do?”
“God,” she whispered, “I don’t know. I mean, Roman is instant passion, you know. And, Mason is like lifetime security, if you want it. But, Roman’s passion could be lifetime security. That’s the unknown. He could wake up and realise that he actuallycanoffer you the world. Mason’s got the steadfastness down, the big gestures, his heart is on his sleeve. Roman, though?”
“Yes. Thanks. Not helping again.”
“Okay, honestly?”
I was painfully reminded of every one of Roman and my exchanges, but I nodded. “Always.”
“I’d pick Mason, but I’m a coward.”
