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9
Lily
Flashback…
HUDSON
“I want things to be like this forever,” Lily whispered as she slipped her delicate arms around my neck.
We’d just had the most amazing sex ever. A cool summery breeze drifted in through her room window. I always came in through there and she always left it open for me.That’s the way we’d meet every night for the past two summers and then I’d fuck her for hours on end.
Lily was so innocent, but deep down, she loved the way I kissed her, biting down on her bottom lip, pulling her nipples until they were hard and she was aching for me to be inside of her pussy. I had my hands around her abdomen, as I buried my mouth in her sweet pussy.
Forever. It was a daunting thought. One that I couldn’t wrap my head around. She had always been okay with this arrangement every other day, but not tonight. I’m stupid for not seeing it before.
Sure, I’d been more than a satisfactory partner in bed. But relationships? I couldn’t do that. Besides sex and casual dating, there was nothing else that she could offer me.
I did feel some kind of protection towards her. She had been around in my life for two years. She’d send me love letters in my locker and I always chose to ignore them. I never noticed her when she was in high school, but once summer hit, she came back different during senior year. Her small love letters stopped and one day she just came into the locker room which was thankfully empty and gave me one of the best blowjobs I’d ever had in my life. Our fling started like that. It was casual to me, but for Lily, it developed into more. She wanted more. She fantasized about things I couldn’t possibly offer her; constant love and affection.
“Are you even listening?” She traced my damp chest with her manicured fingernails. She always used the same dusty link nail polish, because she didn’t like change.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m just a little tired,” I said.
“Sometimes it’s like you’re not there,” she whispered.
Lily sat up a little, sprawling her small hands on my chest as she stared into my eyes. She had the most beautiful eyes. They were dark amber with feathers of green and her icy blonde hair was soft and silky.
“You have no idea how amazing you’ve made my summer. It was a good distraction,” she said, her eyes moving along my torso.
Icould tell that she wanted to say more but I also didn’t want to hear her next words.
Lily sat up, her long silky strands of blonde hair cascading over her rosy nipples that were hardened from the cool breeze. She wrung her hands. I sensed her uncertainty.
“I was thinking, why don’t you and I leave? There is nothing here for me anymore,” Lily said, in a soft voice. “I won’t have anywhere to go after graduation.”
I stayed silent, unsure of what to say, so I stood up and buttoned my jeans, before pulling my t-shirt over my head.
“I—I understand if it’s too much to ask, but you give me hope for a better tomorrow.” Her voice trembled. She was scared. Scared of losing me, of being stuck here and just being alone all over again. Her stepfather beat her whenever he came home drunk and her mother was a whore sleeping with most of the town. Lily was from money, she didn’t need financial security from me, but she needed an escape and I was that for her. I understood her in a way because we both shared scars from our pasts. I knew in towns like these, everyone turned a blind fucking eye because what happens behind closed doors, stays there.
Lily got off the bed and walked over to where I stood. “Tell me something, Hudson. You’re not saying anything and it’s scaring the fuck out of me.”
I glanced down at her and saw the fear in her large, dark eyes. “What do you want me to say, Lily?” I was fucking selfish and I didn’t even know why. How could I tell her that I just couldn’t do this anymore? She was demanding too much from me and I could feel the shackles around my ankles. I. Couldn’t. Fucking. Do. It. Anymore.
“Tell me you’ll come with me. Tell me yes.”
After everything, Lily was still not prepared to let me go, because she knew that I was the best thing that could have ever happened to her.
She knew her only ticket out of this shithole was me. So she held on and loved me more even when I didn’t love her back. It’s not like she wanted me to love her back. It was more of a desperate need.
“I will come with you,” I said.
It was one last lie, but it didn’t matter anymore. I just wouldn’t see her again. That was just the way it had to be. I needed to sever the ties, cut the connection forever even though it would destroy her and a part of me.
Lily let out a relieved sob and she threw her slender arms around my neck as the light from the moon spilled into the room.
“I love you so much,” she whispered hotly against my neck. “I love you.”
