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He shoots a deathly glare at me, before grabbing my hand and pulling me aside. “Don’t tell me that fucking bullshit. I really don’t want to hear it, Parker. I’m just done with you and with everything. I wanted to share a part of my life with you when I asked you to move in with me, but you were too busy doubting me. Anyway, my exams are coming up and I really can’t focus on you and everything else.”
A thickness fills my throat and I can feel the tears burning at the back of my eyes.This can’t be happening.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out immediately because this is blowing out of proportion way too quickly.I can’t lose him.The thought of that makes my heart twist with agony. “I’m sorry, okay?”
Hudson stares at me but stays silent as I take his hand in mine. “I’m sorry for doubting you and adding to your stress. I was confused about us and about moving in, but it was both of our faults. It’s not just me. You can’t say that.”
“Don’t ever fucking tell me that I used you again. We fuck and we both do it willingly.” His voice is icy. “Say it again and we’re done for good and then you’ll never see me again.”
My stomach knots and I feel the bile rising, the need to throw up grows as his words sink in, but I blink away the tears. I won’t cry.I won’t.I won’t.
“Why are you being so mean right now?” My voice cracks.
Hudson shakes his head, a muscle in his jaw ticks. “You can’t always make everything about you. I’m not being mean, Parker. I’m telling you I don’t deal with bullshit like this.”
“I’m sorry,” I grab his hand and he looks down at our entwined fingers.
“So let’s do something else then,” I step closer to him.
I want to feel something other than feeling pathetic right now so I lean into Hudson and whisper against his ear, “I want to get high.”
His eyebrows lift in surprise. “Really? Do you want something specific?”
“What do you suggest?” I ask.
Hudson gives me a quick once over before taking my hand and leading me through the sway of the crowd until we reach a dark wooden table that’s empty.
I watch as he leans over the desk and pulls out a small packet of white powder from his jeans pocket before he opens it up and pours a small amount onto the surface of the desk.
He takes out his MasterCard from his wallet before prepping the powder into two thin lines.
“I’ve never taken cocaine before,” I tell him as he takes out a five dollar bill and rolls it up.
“I do it all the time. Once it wears off, you’ll want another hit, but it’s not addictive right away,” he explains as he leans forward and inhales the first line from the desk.
Hudson rubs his nose with the back of his hand before handing me the rolled bill.
“It’ll take one to three minutes before you start to feel the effects. You’ll feel great,” he says as he comes behind me and he takes my hair in his hands as I bend forward.
His cock is hard behind me and that’s all I can think of as I snort the cocaine through my right nostril.
Hudson leaves my hair down and I turn around, tilting my head back as the cocaine burns the back of my nose, before dripping down my nasal cavity.It feels like shit. I hope it’s worth it.
“Come, let’s dance.” Hudson leads me towards the crowd and I hold my breath as he grabs my ass.
“I thought you don’t dance,” I whisper as we cling to each other.
His dazzling green eyes stare right into mine and he smiles. “I’ll make an exception because you like dancing.”
We spend what feels like an eternity, touching, moving against each other, our bodies pressed against one another as Lil Nas X’s lyrics fill my ears—Get yourself an Adderall
Then throw me up against the wall
And kick me when I have to crawl…
Ooh, I love it when you show no love at all—And we get lost in the moment, everything is hazy, happiness and energy are bursting through me and I want Hudson so badly.
I kiss him and our tongues meet in a battle as they flick against each other. He tastes sweet and I want more,I need more.
