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It was already 1AM. Hartsfield-Jackson International was an hour and a half from Athens.

“You need to sleep,” I said.

“I don’t know if I can, but I should get you home either way.”

“I can stay.”

“They’re not going to let us see her tonight anyway. I’ll pick you up in the morning when I’ve got Megan.”

“No, just let me know when you get there, I’ll drive back here and meet you.”

“Okay… yeah, okay.”

Ryan checked with the hospital staff and confirmed we wouldn’t be allowed to see Riley. Then he explained the situation to Miles and Derek, and we took off.

Back home, I showered, dressed in my pajamas, and then lay down next to Ryan in bed.

“Are you going to be able to sleep?” I asked.

“I don’t know. But it’ll be good to rest.”

“I don’t want you to get in an accident on the road.”

“Don’t worry, I hired a town car service to pick me up. They’ll take me to the airport to get Megan.”

“Couldn’t you just let them pick her up, then?”

“I think somebody ought to be there for her.”

“Yeah… you’re right.”

“Thank you for what you did,” he whispered to me. “We all owe you… Riley especially, but all of us owe you.”

He was the third person to say that.

How could I tell him that the only reason I was up there was because I felt guilty? That I had gone after her for selfish reasons? That I had not wanted her to tell Ryan she’d heard my conversation with Derek outside the studio?

How do you deal with everybody thinking you’re a saint, when you feel like such a sinner?

In my case, I just broke down and cried. He cradled me to his chest, wrapped me in his arms, and kissed the top of my head.

100

I don’t remember falling asleep, but when I woke in the morning, Ryan was gone.

For a second, I was absolutely paralyzed with terror that he had left me. As in, ditched my ass for being a terrible girlfriend.

Then I remembered everything from the night before – that he had gone to Atlanta to pick up Megan – and I relaxed.

But I got a brief glimpse into how deep my feelings for him ran… which was oddly comforting. I’d spent so much time obsessing over my feelings for Derek that I hadn’t really considered how much I loved Ryan.

So being scared to death wasn’t entirely useless.

I showered, dressed, and had a quick breakfast of toast and jam as I surveyed the landscape of empty beer bottles and solo cups left over from the night before. I started cleaning up after I ate, but got a text from Ryan before I’d even finished half of it.

We’re about to reach Athens. See you at the hospital?

See you there,

I texted back.

I love you.

I love you too,

he replied, and all was right with the world.

For a while.

101

When I entered Riley’s hospital room, Ryan was sitting in a chair over by the wall, and Megan was sitting on a chair by the bed.

In the early morning light coming through the window, Riley was almost as white as the sheets she was lying on, except for the dark purple circles under her eyes. Her tattoos stood out in dark relief against her skin. She had an IV in her arm and various wires attached to her body.

She saw me come in and smiled.

“Blondie,” she croaked. “I hear I owe you one.”

I smiled back. Hearing her call me Blondie again was all the thanks I needed.

“Hey,” I said, and put my hand on hers. She held it weakly in her own.

“Thank you,” Megan said, and came around and hugged me. She was just as I remembered from the Skype session – reddish-brown hair, bangs, plastic-rimmed glasses, and a kind, open face. “Thank God you were there.”

“Yeah, why

were

you there, Blondie?” Riley asked.

I looked over in panic, wondering if she was going to air her accusations here –

now

– after I’d saved her life.

But then she continued, “You were lookin’ for a little tail, weren’t’cha? Couldn’t resist me.”

“There’s the old Riley again,” I said, and Ryan and Megan both laughed.

Riley grinned, then looked perplexed. “Seriously, though… why’d you follow me?”

My apprehension came back. “You don’t… remember anything?”

“I don’t even remember

bein’

there at the party.”

Relief flooded through me.

“I thought you went up there to seduce some alt rock chick,” I joked.

“Naaaah, I was savin’ myself for you. Heard you laid down a couple of French kisses on me.”

“I was doing CPR on you.”

“Yeaaaah, right. Just so you know, you don’t need to use

that

as an excuse.”

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