AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’ll keep that in mind. What did the doctor say?”
“I dunno. All I know is they won’t put any booze in my IV.”
Megan spoke up. “They said you caught her just in time. She didn’t get a ton in her lungs, but they’re monitoring her for pneumonia.”
“They had to treat her for alcohol poisoning, too,” Ryan added.
“Whatever,” Riley snorted. “Alcohol poisoning’s just an average Friday night for me.”
“Not when you pull a Jimi Hendrix.”
“John Bonham, dude,” she said. “I’m a fuckin’ drummer.”
For those who don’t know, Jimi Hendrix and John Bonham (the drummer for Led Zeppelin) both died the way that Riley almost had.
“Do you guys mind staying with her?” Megan asked. “I haven’t eaten anything since last night except for peanuts on the flight.”
“Of course,” I said.
“Do you want anything, Riley?” Megan asked.
“Yeah. Bottle of Jack.”
“Ha ha,” Megan said without laughing. “No.”
“I’ll settle for Johnny Walker,” Riley said as her sister walked out. “Hell, even Jim Beam.”
“Too bad, So Sad.”
Once Megan was out of the room, though, Riley’s entire façade collapsed. She lay back on the pillow, and her expression became distraught. “I fucked up… I can’t believe I did this to her…”
Ryan got up from his chair and walked over. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s got school… she’s got her job at the hospital, too, on weekends… and I totally fucked everything up…”
“Riley,” I said, “you’re more important than all that stuff. She
wants
to be here.”
She wouldn’t look at me as she shook her head. “I can’t believe I fucked everything up…”
“Riley, stop,” Ryan said, and took her hand.
She wouldn’t look at him, either. Just stared out the window.
“Look, we need to have a talk,” he said. “We’ve all turned a blind eye to your drinking in the past, but we can’t do that anymore. You almost died.”
She stared out the window and refused to look at us.
“Riley, I love you,” Ryan said quietly. “You’re like a sister to me. I can’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself. I
won’t
stand by and watch it.”
A tear welled out of her eye and slowly trailed down her cheek. She closed her eyes against the sunlight, probably trying to block everything out.
“You promised me you would tell me if something was wrong,” he continued. “You promised me.”
She started crying quietly, her tiny body wracked with convulsions.
“I was just afraid you were going to l-leave,” she sobbed.
“What? What are you talking about?” Ryan asked.
“Y-you and Derek… I was afraid you were going to l-leave…”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Ryan said, and leaned over the bed to hug her.
“Neither am I,” said a voice from the door.
I turned, and my heart skipped a beat.
Derek walked in, gave me and Ryan a grim smile, and walked over to the other side of the bed.
“We’re not going anywhere,” he promised.
Riley almost lost it. “Yes you are – you’re fighting – ”
“We’re not fighting now.”
“But you will,” she sobbed. “You’ll start fighting, and then you’ll leave. Everybody leaves. They always leave… they always leave me…”
Now it was crystal clear. Her quietness over the last two weeks, her nervousness, her detachment – she had been terrified. But unlike my own terror when I woke up and Ryan wasn’t there, Riley’s hadn’t gone away. She was living in it, every minute of every day. A child of foster homes, who had never had a real family, had finally found one – and she was afraid it was being ripped away from her.
Because of me.
My own eyes welled up and I had to turn away.
My very presence was breaking up a family – and it wasn’t even mine.
102
Austin City Limits was only a week away.
Bigger almost didn’t go. In fact, they wouldn’t have gone except for Riley.
“You fuckin’ pussies can bail, but
I’m
not, and fuck
ALL
y’all if you try to say it’s cuz of me,” she said angrily as she sat up in her hospital bed.
It was a band meeting with Derek, Killian, and Ryan in her hospital room on Sunday night. Miles was there, too, as was I. Megan had wanted to stay, but Riley forced her to catch a redeye back to New York so she could return to her med school classes Monday morning.
“Riley, your health is the most important thing here,” Ryan said.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re
not
fine. You almost
died.
”
“Well I’m not dead NOW, am I? So we’re playin’ the fuckin’ concert!”
“Riley, you’re in no condition to play,” Derek said.
“Fuck you – I’ve done gigs where I was beat up, bleeding, almost
dead
and I still played.”
