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“No, girl, I will do all that. Just try to enjoy your coffee and catch up. I am going to let you walk in ahead of me so no one will think we are together. Also, I have Kiera meeting me, she is mydate, meaning she knows what to do. She is my special weapon. No one connects her to the family, but she is the best asset we have.”
“Ooo, wow. I didn’t know this. Do I get to meet her? Do you like,likeher?”
“You will meet her at the launch of the casino. Also, it’s all business. I am not meant to like,likeher, Sophie.”
He winks at me. Oh my God, Kiera is in his sights. I will have to warn her.
“Time to rock, my lady.”
Liam informs me as he stops the car. I check my make-up and head in. I am in my usual big skirt, oversized top, and converse sneakers on, and my handbag is slung across me diagonally. I got this, just coffee with my mam.
I walk into McCarthy’s and see her in the corner of the shop with a newspaper in hand. I didn’t even realize they still made newspapers, I thought it all went digital. Mam hasn’t changed one bit. She is smaller than me, and it must be an Irish mammy thing to be small; dark hair like mine, and big green eyes like me. She looks so young that people have mistaken her for my older sister instead of mother. I order my hot chocolate and head over to Mam.
“Hi, Mum. It’s so good to see you.” She jumps ups and hugs me tight.
“Missed you darlin’. Are you eating enough? It feels like you are skinnier than the last time I saw you. Let me get a good look at you. Are you sleeping ok? I think I see dark circles under your eyes.”
“Gee, thanks, Mum. Glad you came down to tell me I look like shite!”
I laugh. It’s Mum, I never sleep or eat enough in her eyes. She plops back down and just smiles at me. I know it’s her way of caring, and honestly, I’m used to it. Lauren’s Mum does the same thing. Again, must be an Irish mammy thing to remind their kids they look like shite, just to make sure they don’t get too big for their boots.
“How was your trip down, mum? Did you get a lift or bus it?”
“I got a lift with Dorothy, she was coming to Dublin to grab wool, and is happy to wait on me, so no rush.” She smiles at me. “How have you been? How is work?”
“I have changed jobs. I am now a manger of a casino.”
I dip my head and sip my hot chocolate. I don’t want to see the look in her eye. It can only go two ways.
“Oh, that’s good. Do you like it? Is it good money? Sensible hours?”
“Yes, Mum, it’s the best. I have a great team around me. I actually love it.” I beam back at her and her eyes light up like mine, she is so happy for me, that’s all she ever wanted.
“So, let’s gets this out of the way. What about my father? What don’t I know?”
I have not been looking forward to this conversation. I see Liam is sitting a couple of tables over, I know he can hear us, which is good and bad, but that’s life, just need to get this done.
“Where do I start, darling?”
“From the beginning, Mum.”
“I was young and in love. I was living in Belfast with my parents when I meet your father. He is about ten years older than me, but he was so sweet and caring. We went out on a couple of dates and things happened.” I can see Mam blushing. I get the picture. “I found out I was having you. Your father was so happy. But we had a problem, he was fighting a war, and I belonged to the side he was fighting, so he shipped us to Muff, to make sure we stayed out of trouble, and no one would link us to him. He knew his enemies would hurt us to get to him. He was in your life until you turned two. He stepped back, but it was to protect you. He loved—still loves—us and was trying to do the right thing. He sent us money every month. You got a gift every birthday and Christmas. He has seen you from afar. He watched you grow up from a distance. Your grandparents are my parents, so they are very much real, and they do love you, but don’t like your father and what he has done to us, keeping us apart from our families. I have seen your father plenty of times over the years, we always talked on the phone, mostly every night. I still see him.”
“Mum, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t know how to. The longer I left it, the harder it got.”
This is too much to take in. My father has been in my life all along, and I don’t even know him. Now Cahill thinks he is trying to hurt me. “Mum, is my father trying to hurt me?”
“Oh, my goodness, darlin’, no. No, no, no, he is trying to save you. He knows you are with some shady man. Your father is trying to get you out safely. He doesn’t trust this man. He has heard the stories.”
So, my father is trying to save me, he doesn’t want to hurt me. This is so fucked up.
“But, mum, I am safe. Cahill isn’t the one sending bombs to people’s houses or shooting out at a dinner with the rich and famous or taking cars out on back roads. My father, your lover, is the crazy one. I should be saving you from him. Cahill has room if you do want to get away from him.”
I low shout at her. I don’t want the café to hear my dirty laundry. My mum stares at me blank, like I’m the crazy one. She kept my father from me for years and now wants me to believe he has a heart of gold.
“Your father only does what needs to be done, to keep you safe, darlin’.”
