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ChapterEighteen
Cindy
“I’m a little gray wolf, touch my snout. Open the door and let me out.” Caleb wasn’t going anywhere but bed, because he punctuated the song his brand-new babysitters had taught him with a giant yawn. Carter passed out after dinner, which he actually ate, and Charlotte was freshly tucked into bed.
It was amazing what could get accomplished with a little help around here.
The kids weren’t the only ones who’d snapped into line. Everyone and everything in this house experienced a transformation today. My bedroom showed the most evidence of this change. A new bed and mattress with fresh gray and white striped sheets. The closet was shockingly empty. Pedro’s scent barely lingered, and there was no trace of his belongings left in the closet. Hardly any of mine, either. Bibi promised she’d bring me to Sunset Springs to find out what clothes actually fit me. I was pretty excited about that, because it had been a while since I’d cared about looking good over just being dressed, but not as excited as I was about the small army of caretakers Bibi had brought in so I’d have my choice of babysitters later.
I adored my children, but today was clear evidence that I couldn’t do this alone. The fact that it took three outsiders to get my kids in line was validation, and I tipped my hat to them—they’d managed not only to wear them out, but somehow made a game of getting them to put their toys away.
I couldn’t lie, it was my new favorite game.
The house was clean, and the cleaners actually managed to make it smell good.
“Ready for a story?” I asked Caleb after I booped his nose.
Another yawn, then a nod.
I picked up Carter and headed into their room.
“Can we get bunk beds?” Caleb asked. “Please? You got a new bed today.”
This was a fresh start for the whole family. “I don’t see why not. You’re old enough. As long as you don’t fight over the top bunk.”
His little face lit up. “I’ll mark it as my territory.”
“Wolves don’t have to mark their territory.” I nodded when he gasped. We’d have to redefine what my boys thought it meant to be a wolf, especially if Logan couldn’t shift. “Not like that. All you have to do is make it yours and respect your brother’s space.”
He considered that for a moment. “But what if he tries to take my stuff?”
Along with a clean house and a new bedroom, I got some clarity on the situation. Their father had taught them this mentality. That there was never enough. That they had to fight to keep everything they had, even if it meant they ruined it in the process. It was up to me to show them a better way.
“So what? If you mark it, then it will be gross, and no one will get to play with it. I’ll have to throw it out, and then I’ll feel funny about having our new friends here. Maybe if you let him play with your stuff, then you can play with his stuff, too.” Oh, that little lightbulb moment was officially the best thing that had happened all day. “Did you like the ladies?”
He nodded. “They were fun.”
“Awesome. When they come back, I want you to promise me you’ll do what they say, okay?”
“Okay.”
I tucked him into his little bed and sat at the foot of it. I’d read the boys their favorite story so many times I didn’t even have to look at the words to The Littlest Wolf anymore. Not that it mattered tonight because Caleb didn’t make it until the end. I kissed both boys on the forehead and took a moment to linger in their clean room.
My heart was so full. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this hopeful.
As peaceful as they looked all tucked into their beds, my wolf was just as restless inside. If I had someone to watch them, I’d shift. It had been too long since I’d run through the mountain trails because I wanted to.
Tonight wouldn’t be that night, either. But that didn’t mean my wolf was satisfied.
She wanted to see Logan. Bibi had done so much for me that I’d kept my disappointment at not being invited to his interview bottled up.
Exactly what I’d promised Bibi I wouldn’t do.
Pacing from the living room to my beautiful new, temporary bedroom, I couldn’t get the craving for him out of my head. I’d never felt anything like this before. I had to see him.
Logan was my mate, and I had to show him that I was as committed to him as I was asking him to be to me.
The logical thing to do would be to wait until morning and tell Bibi I was ready to set up the next date. It was my turn to choose. My wolf groaned at that lawful good idea. Tomorrow felt too far away. So many things had happened since I’d chosen Logan, and it had only been two days.
And if someone scooped that interview, I didn’t want to find out about it when someone else handed me their device.
They shouldn’t. From what Bibi described, the interview was taking place at The Mating Game studios. A completely controlled environment. Which was hard for me to imagine because chaos had been my normal for far too long.
My phone didn’t have any surprise notifications when I picked it up, and I hit send before I could talk myself out of it.
“Hey, Sarah, it’s Cindy. I know you had a long day with my kids, but would you mind sitting with them for a couple of hours? They’re sound asleep, and I have all the streaming services.” My heart pounded as I waited for her answer.
“My dad isn’t thrilled I’ve taken this job, but... Yeah, I’ll come over. Do you have a date tonight? Will I be on camera?”
Of course her father wasn’t happy about her helping me. Joe was one of the guys who worked at the farm with Pedro.
“No.” When I was coming up with this plan, I didn’t factor in that I’d have to give her an explanation. “I have to run into Sunset Springs on show business.”
“I can be there in fifteen,” she said.
It didn’t give me much time to get ready, but who was I kidding? Bibi had thrown out most of my clothes and my makeup bag after she gasped and declared it a petri dish. A box of brand-new goodies was on its way to me. So I took my hair out of the braid, made sense of the waves, and brushed my teeth.
For the first time in a long time, I took a good, hard look at myself. Not under the lights of the spa mirror, or in the makeup trailer before I went on stage. That all had been a lot of fun, but it wasn’t me. It was an ideal, and I loved stepping into that sexy fantasy of myself, but the woman staring back at me, the one I’d ignored for so long, was the one I had to live with every day.
There were a few more lines around my eyes since the last time I’d really paid attention. A couple of white strands of hair. But damn, I still looked pretty good.
I weathered this storm. And now I was ready to claim what was mine. Not with violence, like Pedro did. I was going to do it with grace and determination.
Sarah knocked on the door so softly I almost didn’t hear it.
“You look great,” she said as she walked in.
“Thanks.” Was that all it took for people to notice? For me to see it in myself? Or had my she-wolf finally awakened after being numb for so long? “I promise I won’t be late.”
My heart pounded as I put the car into reverse. It had been ages since I’d gone anywhere by myself, and even longer than that at night. Until a few months ago, leaving Green Mountain village at night by car was almost impossible. The jagged mountain road had no lights, no guardrails, and no mercy with its sharp turns and steep drop-offs. But our alpha had been working with other packs to improve our infrastructure—which was the main reason Pedro had challenged him—and the trip should be safe now.
