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I looked back into the room and sighed. “Then why did you buy all this?”
“It’s for every birthday and holiday we were apart, even the small ones I think are bullshit like Valentine’s Day.”
I studied the contents of the room, unable to count just how many bags there were. “You picked this out on your own?”
“That’s fucking insulting. Who knows you better than me except for Audrey?”
Thinking of my best friend made my heart hurt. We never went this long without speaking, and these were moments I’d love to pretend this was all just my typical life and rave to her about. She and Gavin would be here with us if that were the case.
And I couldn’t believe he’d done this. Judas had caught me off guard since the moment I met him, but never in the ways he’d been doing since barging back into my life.
“You are sweet.”
He didn’t seem pleased by my sentiment. “I am not sweet. I’m not trying to sway your affection with gifts. This is a very small part of the apology I’ll be giving you for the rest of our lives.”
Did he just utter the word apology?
I swallowed in an attempt to quell the sudden scratchiness in my throat. “I thought you didn’t care?”
“For what I did or the choices I made, I don’t. I’m not sorry for doing what needed to be done. I’m sorry you were hurt as a result of that.”
“You’re sorry I got hurt?” I repeated in disbelief, ignoring the burning sensation behind my eyes.
“I never want you to be. I’m supposed to be your biggest protector. I wasn’t able to do that then. I can now.”
I didn’t say anything. I struggled to process what he was telling me. I’d been believing this entire time he just didn’t give a shit how I felt when everything happened.
“You don’t believe me.” It was a statement, not a question.
“How can I?”
“What do you want me to do? Tell me what else you need from me to start making it better and I’ll do it.”
Sincerity bled through his words, making me want to scream at him for choosing to do this now. “I don’t know what I need, Judas. I never dealt with it,” I disclosed with a sigh.
I thought I’d been making headway but being with him again proved to me I hadn’t. Beneath the hollow shell of the woman I was becoming, there were remnants of the girl I was trying to mend her bleeding heart.
“When everything fell apart you stood there and watched me fall too. You broke my fucking heart.” I felt tears on my face and tried to wipe them away. He stopped me and pulled me into his arms, cradling my head against his chest.
He didn’t say a word or attempt to let me go.
He walked me to one of the sofas and sat with me still in his arms, serving as a pillar for me to hold onto until I could find some of my bearings and pull away. I was more than a little embarrassed when I finally did, but he didn’t let that feeling last long.
He wiped my cheeks with his thumbs and gave me a kiss. “Don’t ever be ashamed to let your guard down with me. I won’t judge you for being human.”
I leaned into his touch for a moment and then decided I needed a shower. I needed a private moment to pull myself together, and I felt sticky and gross. The hot water would do me wonders.
I relayed this to him.
“There are clothes for you in the suite. I’ll have dinner brought up while you’re in there.”
I nearly forgot about food. That told you what kind of day it’d been.
I left him to it and wandered back into the main bedroom to hunt down everything I’d need.
I could smell the delicious variety of food before I finished exiting the bathroom. Feeling completely refreshed and ready to devour an entire menu, I emerged from the bedroom in nothing but a plush, terry-cloth robe he’d gotten me.
Judas was standing by the dining table where a feast fit for a king had been laid out, looking deep in thought.
When he spotted me I swore his eyes lit up.
“Come sit. It just got here.” He pulled one of the large chairs out for me.
I sat down and thanked him. “Sweet and a gentleman. Who knew you had it in you?”
“On rare occasions, I can put out.” He placed his hands on either side of my shoulders and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “You are beautiful, Amore Mio.”
“I try.”
“But you don’t need to and that’s what makes you all the more stunning.”
I smiled as he took the seat directly to my right, placing him at the head of the table. “Help yourself to one of everything. It’s all fresh.”
