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My life was coming together in pieces I’d never have expected because, even though I’d spent every day wondering if that day would be when Declan learned of Seamus, I’d never really thought about the aftermath. Had just thought about the main event.
Nothing was going down as I’d anticipated.
I’d thought he’d hate me, had thought he’d make my life miserable, and I had a feeling that, in different circumstances, he would have.
He’d have detested me for denying him Seamus, would have taken pleasure in making me miserable, in sucking all the joy out of my life and making me live as a shadow of my former self.
But he’d been shot and as horrible as it was, I thought the next time we went to church—because that was in the cards, and that was another culture shock for Seamus that was heading our way—I’d give my thanks to the Almighty for the gift of those bullets because Declan had almost died, and that changed a man’s perspective.
Which, in my predicament, couldn’t have happened at a better time.
* * *
DECLAN
The ride to our parents’compound took place in relative silence, especially since I was thinking about everything there was to discuss, but sometimes, with Da, there was no point in discussing beforehand and getting your story straight. He always knew.
Like a shark scenting blood, he knew how to drag out the information he wanted.
A part of me was still bewildered that, all these years later, he hadn’t figured it out sooner. Pulling the wool over his eyes was close to impossible but, somehow, I’d done it when I was a dumb kid, dicking around with a bunch of other dumb kids.
As it stood, he wasn’t aware I was being blackmailed, or that we were looking for a blackmailer, and because Conor made it a habit of keeping Da in the dark with his IT exploits, I wasn’t worried, not really, about him having given me away.
Conor had been right though. If ever there was a time for Da to find out that I’d lied, it was now. But that didn’t mean I was eager for the truth to be revealed.
I’d made a lot of mistakes along the way and had paid dearly for them. My son was a stranger to me, one I was slowly coming to know, but still a stranger. And Aela, while anything but foreign to me, was a delight I couldn’t believe I’d had to live without for so many fucking years.
Regret hung heavy on my heart, and I knew it changed me. Whether it was for the better or for the worse, I couldn’t say. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to. Maybe it was my family who’d see the difference.
“You’re quiet.”
I cast a look at my elder brother. “Got a lot to think about.”
“I’ll bet. Wish you’d told me before,” he said gruffly. “Always did hate it when you kept things from me.”
A short laugh escaped me. “If I’d gotten you involved back then, you’d be as fucked as I am now.”
“Da’ll punish us, but he ain’t gonna kill us,” Brennan groused. “Ma would never let him.”
I loved that he qualified that, loved that he knew he had to.
Da wasn’t the most rational of men, and he had episodes where he went a little batshit crazy. The only constant that kept him sane was Ma.
Of course, that sounded insane. A person wasn’t lithium. They couldn’t take a goddamn personality disorder and even them out, but Magdalena O’Donnelly was Aidan O’Donnelly’s miracle.
We all knew it.
All knew to dread a day where she died and he stayed around without her.
If God really did exist, and my father believed more than most, then He’d take Da out first, then her.
Not that I liked to think about them dying, but sometimes, in our world, death was a conversation that was forever on the tip of the tongue when compared with most folk.
Not a year went by where some shit stunt like what had happened to me didn’t befall one of us. Then there were the guys around us. Rogan, the man Brennan and Eoghan had set onto Aela at first, was Ma’s favorite guard. He was dead now, and there was no coming back. Not unless he was the next coming of Jesus, and I highly doubted God was capable of that level of mischief. Sending back His son as a hired gun? Highly unlikely.
“Do you think it’s Cillian?” Brennan asked when I didn’t reply to his earlier comment about Ma.
“No. I don’t. I think someone stole his identity, I’m just not sure why they would.”
