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“Because he wants me to be something I’m not, and even though I do as he asks, do what he wants, and have never said no, it’s not enough.”
“Why?”
I blew out a breath. “That’s a tough question, kid.”
He shrugged. “Someone has to ask them.”
“True.” My lips twisted. “If you asked me before I found out about you, I’d have said because he wanted me to be better.”
“But now?”
“I’d say because he sees me as his failure.”
Seamus’s eyes widened. “That’s mean. You’re not a failure!”
Though his defense was appreciated, I shook my head. “Hisfailure, kid. He made me into what I am. Even though he had to work hard to shove me into that mold. So, when he looks at me, he knows I’m this because of his choices.
“When your mom looks at you, she sees a kid who took the bull by the horns and made things happen. She gave you your head, let you do what you wanted, and when you’re older, and you’re a fancy lawyer or the president, she’ll know that you had the brains and the smarts to get there on your own.”
He frowned. “I think I know what you mean.”
“Good.”
“When he looks at you, he sees what he made you, not what your potential should have allowed you to be.”
“Exactly.” I cleared my throat. “That’s hard for anyone to deal with.”
“I’ll bet.” He stared at me, then slowly asked, “What did you want to be?”
“That’s the irony.”
“Why?”
“Because I have no idea.”
“You must have had goals. Dreams.”
“I never allowed myself to have any. It would have been too painful.”
“Mom said you loved art. She said that she doesn’t know how I’m about as useless with a pencil as she is with a wrench when you and her are so artistic.”
“I’m not artistic,” I countered. “I just like looking at it.”
“Did you never try?”
“I used to doodle, but nothing more than that.”
“Wow.” When I arched a brow at him, he wriggled his shoulders. “That’s sad. You could have been like Mom.”
“Maybe. But I never bothered worrying about it. This is my life. I am who I am.”
“Won’t Aidan try to do to me what he did to you?”
“Without a doubt,” I told him, which had dismay flashing in his eyes. “But, Shay, you’re my son. Not his. I already warned him to leave you alone.
“Now, despite that, I hope you’ll have a relationship with my parents, especially Ma, because she’s good people.”
“How is she good people when she let him do that to you?”
