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Hurt flickered inside me, as well as concern. “Are you okay now?”
I started to step closer to her, my hand outstretched, but I hovered in place, uncertain of my welcome.
Her gaze drifted to my hand. “Don’t I look okay?” was all she said.
I took her in, saw her cheeks were bright pink, and she…
Surprise welled inside me.
She wasn’t covered in flour. Her color wasn’t phenomenal, but her pallor was better. She didn’t wear that harried frown I was growing used to seeing, and it was an odd thing to notice, but I swore she stood taller.
“You left our home,” I repeated.
“I did. That place is…” She straightened her shoulders. “I don’t want to live there anymore.”
“What?” I barked, groaning under my breath when Jake started sniffling.
“I don’t wantany of usto live there anymore,” she clarified, and while her words made my heart stop racing, I still had to pick apart what was happening here.
“You want me to move out?”
“No, Finn. Have you got selective hearing or something? I’m not leaving you. We’re not splitting up—”
“But you… I… we…” My mouth firmed as relief hit me harder than Brennan’s fist in a fight. I stared at her, so fucking thankful and relieved and agitated all at the same time, but I had to get this out, had to remind her of a truth that wasn’t going anywhere. “I arranged for a vasectomy.”
Hurt brought shadows in her eyes. “I understand.”
“Do you?” I demanded. “Do you understand that I can’t live without you?”
She shuffled forward and surprised me by sliding her hand around my waist and pressing her face to my other shoulder. I hugged her back, tucking her tighter into me, holding my world in my arms.
“I understand,” she breathed, but I heard her sadness.
“All the money in the world won’t fix this,” I whispered against her hair, rubbing my chin over the crown of her head. “I wish it would. I’d throw millions at it if I could give you what you wanted.”
“I know you would,” she whispered.
“We could—” I almost bit back the words, until I continued, “We can adopt, Aoife. I can throw money at that so our ties to the Five Points fade away. I can get you the family you want that way. But I can’t risk you, baby. I can’t knowingly endanger you. Please, don’t ask me to do that again.”
She squeezed me. “I won’t. And I’ll think about it. Finn?”
Sagging with relief that she accepted what I was going to do without argument, I leaned against her as I asked, “Yeah?”
“I need to never step foot in that apartment again.”
Carefully pulling apart that sentence, I queried, “You know the penthouse’s done nothing to you, don’t you?”
“Yes. I’m not crazy. But I don’t want to be there anymore.”
“I understand. I’ll set a realtor on it, and we’ll find something different.”
“You don’t mind?”
Did I?
“I don’t care where I live so long as you’re there,” I rasped, knowing I was speaking the whole truth and nothing but the truth. “Where do you want to live? Westchester? Somewhere like that?”
“No. Not in the suburbs. Your commute would be too long. Somewhere in this neighborhood. So you’re close by.”
