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Chapter5
Charlotte
“You’re here early,” Noelle greets me at our table at Frankie’s. It’s Sunday morning and the first time I’m seeing the girls since I had my drink with Damien Friday night. After I agreed to his proposition, I told him I was tired and needed to go home—which wasn’t a lie. But mostly I just needed to get away from him, away from his cologne and that smirk, and those light blue eyes that kept eating me up as I sat across from him in the booth.
“Couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d get a head start on drinking,” I say as I raise my mimosa up from the table.
“Everything okay?”
“Um…well…”
Noelle places her hand over mine that’s lying flat on the table. “Charlotte…”
“Let’s just wait until the other girls get here so I can tell you all at once.”
“You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“Oh, God no. It’s nothing that drastic.”
She blows out a breath of relief. “Okay. Not that that’s a bad thing, per se. But sorry, my mind just went there really quick.”
“I totally get it. The curse of being a woman. We conjure up the most dramatic scenarios in our heads like that.” I snap my fingers at her.
“Good morning,” Amelia says cheerily as she arrives and gives us both a hug.
I watch her take her seat next to Noelle. “You seem like you’re in a good mood today.”
“I am. One of the couples I’m working with had a breakthrough last night.” She beams as she pours her glass of champagne.
“That’s wonderful, Amelia.”
“These two were in deep trouble when they came to me, girls. And knowing that I helped them…” She inhales deeply and then blows out the air as her eyes well with tears. “It makes me feel like I’m doing what I was meant to do.”
Noelle and I both congratulate her again just as Penelope shows up wearing a long black maxi dress and her hair down straight. No matter how many times I see her, I’ll never get over how much she looks like Cindy Crawford, height and all. “What’s up, bitches?”
“You look well-rested today. No wild parties last night?”
“Nope, that’s the weekend after next, and you girls are coming with me. There’s a new club opening downtown and I got us a VIP booth for the night, naturally.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder. “I actually stayed in last night and tried reading one of those books you’re always pushing on me, Noelle. But sadly, I fell asleep about fifteen minutes in,” she says as she takes her seat next to me.
“Did you not like it?”
“No, it was good. But this is why I can’t ever finish a book you give me, girl. No matter how entranced I am in the story, I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.”
“That’s just a product of getting old, my friend,” I tease her.
“Well, I refuse to accept that. Although, the other night I slept on my arm wrong and it’s been killing me ever since.” Penelope stretches her arm out to the side.
“I felt my back spasm on me the other day when I bent over to throw away a piece of trash,” Amelia adds.
“I choked on a piece of chicken the other day while I was home alone you guys, and I seriously thought that was how I was going to die,” Noelle says as we all just stare at each other.
“Well, I agreed to be Damien’s fake girlfriend so he can impress his boss and my mom will stop bothering me about finding a man,” I spit out, figuring since everyone else was throwing out the conundrums in their life, I might as well add mine.
Noelle starts choking, Amelia stares across the table at me, and Penelope starts clapping slowly. “Charlotte wins with the biggest problem in our lives currently.”
“Start talking, Charlotte. Amelia, fill up our glasses, and Penelope, tell Frankie we will all have our regular orders,” Noelle commands, and my three best friends get to work as I sit in my chair, grateful to have friends like them and finally being able to process this out loud.
Once everyone settles back in, I start explaining how Damien and I came to this agreement—lunch with my parents, meeting for drinks, and then the small tasks that he asked me to do as his love interest.
“You really think this is a good idea?” Noelle asks as we all start eating our food.
“I mean, no. But at the same time, he had a point. You should have seen my mother, you guys. She’s always loved Damien, and would have probably picked him out of a catalog for me herself.”
“And what is he getting out of this again?”
“Being able to impress his boss.” I shrug. “He didn’t tell me what product he’s trying to sell, but clearly his boss didn’t think he was in touch with his feminine side enough to be up to the task, so he lied about being in a relationship.”
Penelope snickers. “You know, you could have some fun with this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, give him a true glimpse of what it’s like to be with a woman, make his life a living hell a little bit, you know? Get really emotional on him, text him at all hours of the day, start leaving shit at his place. You could pull a How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days on him.”
I ponder her suggestion as I take another bite of my spinach, feta, and egg white omelet. I swear, I’ll eat anything with feta cheese. “That might be fun, actually.”
“Yes, or it could make things turn sour really quickly,” Amelia challenges. “Given your history with him, I don’t know if trying to get a reaction out of him would be a good idea. This is already complicated enough, especially given the sexual tension between you two.”
“I know you think it’s there, but I assure you, nothing is going to happen.” Then why is your vagina throbbing at the thought of him in his suit the other night, huh, Charlotte?
“Honey, if it doesn’t, I will streak naked up and down Hollywood Boulevard,” Penelope says. “And even though I’d have no shame in doing that, I’m pretty sure I’ll never have to deliver on that promise. I can’t believe you don’t see what the rest of us do.”
“I mean, is Damien attractive? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I would ever let myself go there, especially now.” I clutch my head between my hands, staring down at the table. “My head is swimming, you guys. In a matter of a week, this man comes back into my life and now he’s my fake boyfriend. How did this happen?”
“I, for one, am grateful for the source of entertainment,” Noelle mumbles around a bite of her food while smiling. “It’s been a while since something exciting has happened to one of us.”
“Glad I can bring some drama into the group.”
“It’s not drama, and part of me understands why you agreed. I’m just worried you made a rash decision and aren’t thinking everything through,” Amelia corrects me.
“I honestly don’t know if this was a good idea or not, you guys. But hell, it’s worth a shot. My mother keeps texting me and asking me questions about Damien, which I’ve been avoiding until we talk again. But now I don’t have to worry about finding a stranger to come to Hawaii with me and sharing a room with a man I don’t know.” And then it hits me. “Oh my God. I’m going to have to share a room with Damien.”
“What? Why?” Noelle asks.
But Penelope answers for me. “Because if they’re a couple, why would they stay in separate rooms, girl? Come on. You read romance novels for a living. I’d expect you to keep up with all of the details better than this.”
Noelle huffs. “Not every author I work with writes romance, Penelope. And sorry, but this champagne is going to my head. It would have clicked in a second.”
“It’s going to be okay. Hopefully by then, you two will feel more comfortable around each other and you’ll have boundaries in place. Please, Charlotte, make sure you set up boundaries with him so things don’t get fuzzy,” Amelia pleads.
“Boundaries?”
“Yes, like how he’s allowed to touch you, what you’re willing to share about your fake relationship out loud so he doesn’t inadvertently embarrass you, and make sure you two agree on how and when this will end.”
“Boundaries.” I nod. “Okay, I can do that.”
“Also make sure you agree on a safe word when he ties you up when you two start fucking,” Penelope snickers.
“Come on you guys,” Noelle interjects. “If Charlotte says nothing is going to happen, then let’s support her in that decision. She’s one of the smartest, most determined women I know. And although I don’t think this is the smartest decision you’ve ever made, you know we are here to support you no matter what.” Reaching across the table, she takes my hand in hers.
“Thanks for the bout of confidence.”
“You’ve got this, Charlotte. And once you get laid and get to experience hate sex for the first time, please make sure to call me and give me all the details.” Penelope winks at me as I reach for my mimosa and down the rest of it. At this rate, I’m afraid I might develop a drinking problem from the chaos that is wreaking havoc in my life right now.
But I can handle this. Noelle is right. It’s Damien—I put up with his annoying habits and sarcasm for years. What’re a few weeks if we both get something out of it?
I’m not sure how or why this happened, but there’s no turning back now. I’m officially dating my nemesis, and no matter what my friends say, I have no intention of seeing or touching his dick.
* * *
