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“Jobs can be put on hold,” he whispered. “Apartments can be sublet.”
“I know. But...” She sighed, running her fingers down and across his arms in a gentle caress. “I’m just not the kind of person who can make such a huge decision on the spur of the moment. Honestly, I wish I was. It’s tempting, it sounds as if it would be incredibly exciting. I certainly feel closer to you than I should after such a short time, but it’s just... Well, it’s completely crazy.”
“You’re right. No question.”
“When I was a girl, my parents taught my brother and me that there was a right way to do everything. A right way to speak and behave and eat and dress and wash...right programs to watch on TV, the right people to know. Everything was so black and white for them, everything was so carefully worked out. My brother rebelled in a big way. He spent his whole life doing as much wrong as possible. Drugs, women, dropping out of college to wander around the world, making just enough money at whatever job he could find in order to take him to the next country and the next job, making friends with the lowest of the low, in short rejecting everything they taught us.”
Derek chuckled. “He sounds like someone I’d like to meet.”
“He’s great. He really is. I admired his rebellion as much as I was appalled by it. I bought into my parents’ version of life because I was so shy that any form of rebellion would have plunged me into anxiety and panic.” She twisted around to peer up into his face, though neither of them could see much. “Do you see what I’m saying? If I said to hell with it, I’ll come with you, it would probably destroy us, Derek. I’d be a complete wreck away from everything I know and feel safe around.”
He wanted to point out that she’d changed her life several times already. Going to college, moving to New York, that life on a boat wasn’t nearly as foreign as she probably imagined. That after a few weeks that life would start seeming normal and everyday as well, full of the same dull moments and repetition and routine as any.
But instead he gave her a final squeeze, understanding that he’d get no further tonight. It was beyond late and they were both exhausted. He’d back off and enjoy Addie tomorrow at the wedding, then ask her once more Saturday night and then again Sunday morning before they left if he had to.
“I understand, Addie.” He kissed her lightly. “Want to go in? Big day tomorrow.”
“We probably should.” She moved out of his arms regretfully and sat in silence on the row back to Storness.
At the top of the hill the house was dark and quiet. Derek led the way in and to the bottom of the stairs, and then gave Addie one last kiss, guessing neither of them would sleep much during what was left of the night.
But as he said good-night and watched her walk through the living room to the bedroom she shared with Sarah, his arms and body itching for the feel of her, he knew that even if his hopes of returning to the Joie de Vivre with her beside him were obliterated this weekend, he’d still find some way, any way, that they could be together again.
Because having found a woman like Addie Sewell, he was not going to settle for anyone else.
14
PAUL AND ELLEN’S wedding day dawned sunny and clear. Well...it had probably dawned that way. Dawn happened during the one or two hours of sleep Addie managed to get before the household was up and working, taking down tents and cleaning and closing up the house. Right now Addie was carrying a load of borrowed sleeping bags down to the beach so Lucky could transport them back to the mainland.
The previous night, she’d dragged herself away from Derek’s warm arms and kisses to lie awake in tense bewilderment over the enormous decision he’d handed her. Of course her practical side thought the idea of ditching everything she knew to follow a near stranger out to sea was completely ridiculous, and that she’d never allow herself to do such a thing. That side of her was cranky and exhausted by the turmoil and change and utterly unpredictable nature of the past several days. That side of her wanted to climb onto a plane and go home, get a solid night’s sleep and wake to peace and blissful routine, and not give crazy ideas another moment’s consideration, because what was the point of torturing herself pretending there was a decision to be made? There was no decision. The answer was clear.
