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“Yeah,” I nodded as I walked back out. I was relieved that Rose was still strapped in the Jeep. I was half afraid she would insist on staying and helping, but her cuts needed to be cleaned up first. It only took minutes to drive to her cottage. There was a very strong part of me that was relieved to see just how close to me she was.
When we walked inside, a sinking feeling in my stomach appeared. This was a really nice cottage. Way nicer than my little house. What if she was one of those women that was only after money? Then again, it didn’t really matter. I wasn’t available, and neither was she.
“Sit on the counter,” I commanded when we walked into her bathroom.
“You really don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do.”
I waited patiently for her to give in, but she stood her ground. I placed my hands on her waist and hoisted her up on the counter. My hands lingered on her sides, not ready yet to pull away. We were within inches of each other, both of us breathing hard as we stared into each other’s eyes. I wanted to kiss her so bad, and when her eyes dropped to my lips, I knew she felt the same way. But I couldn’t do it. I stepped back from her, clearing my throat as I went in search of the first aid kit.
She shifted on the counter, like she was trying to compose herself. I took a little extra time, giving her the chance to get comfortable. I stepped over the line I swore I wouldn’t. Even if I wasn’t physically cheating on my wife, mentally, she was the last thing on my mind.
Placing the kit on the counter, I took out what I needed and got to work on her hand. I took my time cleaning off her cuts and bandaging them so they were protected. I wrapped the heel of her hand and her wrist in a bandage, just to be sure she could keep it clean. Then I bent down and slid my hand behind her knee. Her skin was so soft in my calloused hands. I had to fight everything in me not to slide my hand further up her leg.
Her knee wasn’t nearly as bad as her hand, but when I placed the bandage on, I found myself leaning in close and pressing a kiss on the side of her knee. I heard her intake of breath and closed my eyes, berating myself for being so stupid. I quickly pulled back and stood, gathering up the last of the items and placing them back in the kit.
Her hand on my arm stopped me from moving. I couldn’t even look at her. I had been so stupid. “Would you look at me?” she asked quietly.
My eyes slid to her, burning with the need running through me. I hardened my jaw, fighting off the urge to drag her into the bedroom and have my way with her.
She bit her lip, her eyes flicking down slightly before meeting mine again. “I need you to know, I’m married.”
I figured as much. “Me too.”
She pursed her lips, but not in anger. “As much as I don’t love my husband, I can’t cheat on him…even if I want to.”
That sent a sharp pain through my chest. She wanted me. “Maybe it’s best if we stay away from each other, then.”
Her lips parted slightly, but then she shook her head. “I don’t want to.”
Those four words were barely loud enough to hear, but they made me lose control. Like nothing we said mattered, I pressed myself between her legs, wrapping my hand around the back of her neck as I pressed my lips to hers. I was lost in fever lust, not able to control the burning need inside me. Everything in me called to be with this woman, to forget the contract I signed or the woman that I promised to take care of.
Against everything in me, I pulled back from her, sighing at the sound of her disappointed moan. I stared at the ground, my hands on my hips as I took deep breaths.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
“I know. I’m sorry—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I cut her off. “That was on me. I lost control.”
“I liked it,” she admitted suddenly. “And I don’t regret it.”
That just made all this harder. “Rose, I can’t see you again. As much as I want to, I can’t put myself in this position day in and day out. It would be different if I was just attracted to you, but this is different. I want you in a way I’ve never wanted anyone. I can’t separate what I feel for you from what I need to do.”
She nodded in understanding. I couldn’t stick around anymore. I walked out of her bathroom and headed for the front door, but just as I was opening it, I heard her voice.
“Wait!”
She came rushing out of her room to me, hobbling slightly from the cut on her knee. She looked nervous, but determined. “What if…what if we just spend time together?”
I shook my head, looking away from her. “I can’t—”
“Nothing will happen,” she insisted. Brushing her hair back with both hands, she sighed heavily. “I came here hoping to get away from my life. You’re the only thing grounding me right now. I can’t lose you yet. Please…just say you’ll spend some more time with me.”
The pleading in her voice was impossible to ignore. It didn’t matter that she was begging me. I wanted her to beg me. I needed to know that I wasn’t the only one hanging on by a thread right now.
“Get some rest,” I answered. Her face fell with disappointment, so I added, “and maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”
