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“If this is really what all this anger is about, go tell him he already had makeup sex.”
“But that’s like missing out on something.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, my frustration building by the second.
“Just think about it for a moment. If you had makeup sex, but you didn’t know it, then it’s like it never really happened, at least for the people involved. Therefore, did you really have makeup sex or was it just really good sex? It’s like the tree falling in the forest.”
“What?”
“If a tree falls in the forest, but no one hears it, did it really make any noise?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, already fed up with this conversation. “Clarissa…”
“Yeah?”
“You need to leave. This lost my interest at least five minutes ago. I don’t care if you had makeup sex or hate sex. I don’t care if he’s butt hurt over wanting makeup sex and not getting it. And most of all, I don’t care because you still had sex! The fact that you came over here to interrupt my time with James because Shane’s grumpy and neither of you know what kind of sex you had is just disturbing. And what’s worse is that I sat here and listened to it for as long as I did!”
She shot me a dirty look. “Wow, something crawled up your ass.”
“I wish,” I muttered. “But someone came in and interrupted me.”
“Seriously? You were going to—”
“I don’t know,” I hissed. “It wasn’t even on my mind. But I won’t know now, will I?”
“Geez, alright. There’s no need to get angry. I just needed to vent.”
“Clarissa, I love you dearly, but I have a very short amount of time with this man and I don’t want to waste it talking about different kinds of sex.”
“You could have said so when I first walked in. Why did you even open the door?”
“Because you knocked!”
She snorted out a laugh. “Sorry, but if I was having really good sex, there’s no one I would answer the door for.” Her brows furrowed slightly. “Oh, was the sex not that good?”
“Out!” I shouted, pointing for the door.
“What’s going on?” James asked.
“What’s going on is our friends are insane.” I turned to Shane. “You already had makeup sex. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but she hit you and then you had sex. You missed out on what was really happening, and I feel for you. I really do. It must be crushing to know that the one thing you were so desperate for happened when you weren’t paying attention. Maybe you can argue on the way home and then you can have makeup sex again. Say something really shitty to her, and maybe she’ll hit you again.” Then I turned to Clarissa. “And try to hit him a little harder next time. You didn’t even leave a bruise. Maybe if you give him a black eye it counts more. Either way, I don’t care what happens with you guys. I would like to spend the rest of my day with James, and that doesn’t include having you here, intruding on my time with him. You’re going to leave and James and I are going to have sex. Lots of sex.” Then I looked James up and down. “After he gets out of that ridiculous getup, because frankly, it’s hard to be attractive in women’s clothes.”
James smirked slightly, then cleared his throat. “You heard her. Time for you to go.”
“Really? That’s how you treat me when I come down to help you out with fixing up your house? What happened to bros before hoes?”
I shoved him toward the door. “The last time I heard that was in college. You really shouldn’t say it anymore.”
“I’m insulted. I took one for the team. I brought Clarissa back to my place and fucked her to keep her out of your hair so you had time with Rose. You should be thanking me!”
“You slept with me as a distraction?” Clarissa seethed.
My eyes widened as I watched her stomp over to Shane and draw her arm back. Shane was still glaring at James, so he didn’t even see her right hook coming. And like I suggested, she threw her whole body into the punch. I grimaced at the sound of her fist connecting with his face. He stumbled back against the wall, then slid down to the floor, holding his face.
“You’re an asshole,” Clarissa spat. “I can’t believe I slept with you!”
She stomped outside as James hoisted Shane up. “Just in case you missed it, this is your chance for makeup sex.”
