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Braden
With milkshakes in hand, I make my way up the farmhouse front porch stairs. Leigh might not love milkshakes as much as Maia does—which is why I also brought fries—but I have no idea how she’s going to respond to me being here, so I figured bringing a bribe was a smart move. Plus, bringing food to a pregnant woman is usually a good idea.
I kick my foot against the door in lieu of knocking. After the sound of a few footsteps, the door swings open, and for the first time in a long time, I’m face-to-face with Veronica.
She blinks a couple of times in surprise.
“Braden. Hi.”
Yep, I didn’t even think about how awkward this might be.
“Hey, um, I’m here to see Leigh.” But as I say the words, I know there’s more I should do while I’m here.
Veronica was around while I was in the hospital. She was supporting my parents and Maia. But unlike Leo—who gave me a very firm talking to—she and I haven’t spoken much. I can only presume it’s because she was—maybe still is—pissed at me.
She glances at the stairs. “I don’t know if she wants company, but I’ll leave that up to her. She’s in Maia’s old room.”
I nod, but look at her. “Could I talk to you for a minute first?”
“Of course.” She nods toward the dining room table.
My stomach twists. I’ve been making progress in therapy, but it’s still not easy for me to talk about everything. I still have multiple times a day when I have to stop and take a breath, box up the negative thoughts, and remind myself that I deserve to heal and I’m more than the mistakes I’ve made. It’s getting easier to do that, so I’m hoping that means I’m making progress.
“What’s on your mind?” Veronica asks as we sit down. It’s easy to see that she’s trying to hide some anger or annoyance. She’s never been good at keeping that inside.
“I want to apologize to you. I’ve spoken to a lot of other people in my life, but I realized I haven’t done that with you. I’m sorry. Sorry for the hurt I caused Maia and the way it affected you. I’m sorry for the awful memories I’m sure it brought up for you. I don’t know how much Maia or my parents have told you, but I need you to know, I’m not taking it lightly. I’m working really hard to learn and grow and… just be better.”
Her gaze on me is intense. “I appreciate that. I know you went to therapy with Maia—”
“I’m still going. We worked through pretty much all of our past relationship stuff, but I’m going alone now.”
“That’s good.”
“There’s more you want to say. You can. It’s not going to push me over the edge or anything. I know you want to yell at me.”
“I don’t want to yell at you.” I raise my eyebrows and she smirks. “Truly, I don’t. I—I’m glad you’re working hard to be better. You’ve always had that potential in you. My feelings right now aren’t even totally related to you, more the situation.”
“Because of what happened to Ella?”
She nods. “I love you, you’re like another one of my kids. I’m so glad you’re okay, especially for Maia and Harper. But there’s a part of me that’s so angry. Angry that anyone who drinks and drives gets a second chance, and Ella, who did nothing wrong, didn’t. What you did brought those feelings front and center. It’s not that I wish you weren’t here. I’m so grateful you are, but those feelings are hard to reconcile with.”
If she was worried her words would hurt me, she didn’t need to be. They don’t. “I don’t blame you for feeling that way. Just know, whatever pain and anger you feel regarding that, I’ve felt it. I—half of my therapy has been about learning how not to hate myself. I understand if it’s hard for you to be around me right now.”
Emotion filters over her face and she moves a couple of chairs closer and takes my hand. “It breaks my heart to know that’s how you feel about yourself. Don’t worry about me. I can handle my own complicated feelings. You have so much light inside, Braden. I’ve seen it since you were a kid. Let it shine.”
I clear my throat. This was more than I bargained for coming over here today. “Thank you. Anyway, I was intending to have the serious conversation with Leigh, but I felt like I owed you this much. How is she doing?”
Veronica shakes her head. “I think a little better. We talked some, and I tired her out decorating.”
I glance around the farmhouse, which is only half-decorated with boxes and piles of decorations still scattered around the floor.
“Well, here’s hoping she doesn’t throw me down the stairs.”
“Honestly, she was more vulnerable than I was expecting this morning, so maybe you’ve come at the right time.”
I hope so.Either way, I’m hoping Leigh will be more likely to let me in. I’m not here to coddle her. I’m here to set her straight. I told her not to break Nick, now I’m holding her to it.
I make my way up the stairs and stop outside of Maia’s old room.This is strange. The last time I was in here, Maia and I were having a heart-to-heart. The time before that was when she moved out of this house. How many times did I fall asleep in that bed with her? That’s a life long gone. I’m okay with that, but it’s still a weird feeling, entering a room so filled with memories of her and us, but it’s to talk with Leigh.
