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Maia
The late summer sun warms my face the second we step out of Dr. Jim’s office, but it does nothing to mitigate the swell of emotions in my body. I might’ve been okay if we hadn’t gone back and recounted the early years of our relationship to Dr. Jim.
Now I’m feeling the weight of our relationship and… like it’s ending all over again.
As we get to our cars—Braden’s allowed to drive his mom’s car now for school, work, therapy, and picking up or dropping off Harper, but that’s it—Braden grabs my arm and spins me to face him.
“What, you think you get to shut down on me now that therapy is over?”
I laugh a little, fidgeting with my keys. “No. It’s just—”
“A lot?”
“Yeah. It’s such a weird feeling. It’s like we’re finally putting a bookend on our relationship. The closure we didn’t have a year ago.”
He nods, stepping closer. “Come here.”
He pulls me into his arms and the emotions in me grow stronger, cresting in my chest and threatening to come out of me in tears.
We hold each other tightly for a moment.
We unravel slowly—a metaphor for the end of our relationship, I think—not fully letting each other go. I look into his hazel eyes, eyes that have looked into mine thousands of times over the years. “I’m glad you were my first love, Brade.”
His thumb brushes my cheek, wiping away a tear I wish hadn’t escaped. “Me too.”
Staring at each other, we move closer, the pain and weight of all we’ve been through, pushing us together until our lips connect. Familiarity and emotion twist together. It’s chaste and simple—it’s saying goodbye. Goodbye to what we once were. The endnote of our love story, so we can move forward to something better. A simple goodbye kiss.Kiss.
Oh, what the ever loving fuck am I doing?
I jolt backward, heart pounding—not in a good way. In a very bad way.Shit, I can’t believe we did that.
Braden looks just as freaked out. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—I wasn’t even thinking—it just felt natural. Like we were saying—”
“Goodbye. I know. I—I don’t disagree. I know there wasn’t anything more there. But we still—”
“Shouldn’t have done it.”
“Yeah.”
We stare at each other for a moment, neither of us sure of what to say.
“What do you think? Should we go back in there?” he says, trying to be playful.
It manages to relax me slightly. With an awkward laugh I say, “No. No, we’re fine.” Andweare. The kiss didn’t mean anything—I didn’t feel anything besides wistfulness at the true end ofus. If I were single, I wouldn’t be worried about it all. But I’mnotsingle.
He looks down and nods. “Sorry if I screwed anything up—”
“No. It wasn’t you. It was both of us. And—” I shake my head. “We’re fine. Don’t worry about that.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah. Come here.” I give him a quick hug. “All good. Promise.”
“Okay. No awkwardness. Moving forward.”
“Yes.”
“I should get to work. I’ll see you tomorrow when I pick up Harper?”
