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“Same thing you are.Waiting for the midnight fireworks.I had a feeling I might find you here.”
He’s here.I’m not imagining it.
I long to fall into the warmth of his embrace just to confirm this.But I force myself to stay where I am.
It broke my heart to tell him the words I said this morning.I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if I let another six months pass and had to say good-bye then.It would tear me up inside, and he’d leave me behind with a little boy who’d be nearly as broken-hearted as I am.
Nearly.But not quite.
I shake my head.“Harris, I’m—not up for this.”
“Ava, I want to give us a chance.”
I feel a tear drop from my eye.“Don’t tell me that, Harris.Don’t play with my heart that way.You’re leaving this summer, and I can’t follow you.You understand that.And I can’t let myself or my son get any more attached.”
“I know.You told me all that this morning.And you were right.And if that’s the way you want things, I promise I’ll step away.But there are things I should have said first.”
My forehead creases in question, and I blink back the moisture in my eyes.
“It’s true,” he tells me.“I’m waiting for my orders to PCS this summer.But I might be able to get an extension here for another year.”
A flicker of hope sparks inside of me until reality extinguishes it again.
“It’s not like things will change for me in a year,” I explain.“Honestly, I’d love to say they might.But until the surgeon says that Nicholas is out of the woods—”
“Hear me out, Ava.”
He takes my hands and even with my mittens on, there’s a spark—a pulse of energy—that seems to flow between us, making me feel whole again.
“I usually just sit back and let the Navy stick me in whatever job they feel is a good fit,” he tells me.“But the intelligence community is huge in this area.There are a ton of jobs for me at Meade or at the Pentagon, or maybe even in White House Comms.I can put out some feelers and probably get another job here.”
“You can’t do that for a relationship that just started.”
“Why not?Who says I can’t?Is there some rulebook that says that I need to wait for a year or two?It’s not like I’ll be setting back my career.I’d do it in a heartbeat if it meant that we could give this a chance.And if this thing between us continues to grow and the Navy decides to send me somewhere after my next job ends, we can ride it out just like other couples sometimes have to.I’d get a studio on base wherever they send me, and come home as often as I can.I see couples do it these days all the time.I know it’s not very appealing, but—”
“It’s more appealing than not giving this a chance.”My eyes widen at the sound of my own voice.
I hadn’t meant to say that out loud.But it’s the truth.I’d rather face time apart knowing he’ll come back to me, than this ache I feel when I think of losing him forever.“But Nicholas…”
He lifts a hand.“I know you’re worried about Nicholas getting attached.And I’ll play by whatever rules you lay out there.But know this—no matter what happens between us, your son can always rely on me.For making snowmen or racing his remote-control boat on the Severn or learning how to use his new drone… because I’m sorry, I kind of broke down and bought him one when he was still in the ER because I just felt this urge to spoil him a little.I’ll return it tomorrow if you want me to.”
I laugh.“The stores are closed tomorrow.So maybe we’re stuck with it?”
“And maybe you can be stuck with me too?”he suggests.“Because I know we’re early in the game here.But if I can manage to fall in love with a woman this quickly, then I can’t even imagine how strongly I’ll feel in six months.And I don’t want—”
“What did you say?”
“I said, I can’t imagine how strongly I’ll feel in six months.And I’m not willing to—”
“You fell in love with me?”
He chuckles.“You didn’t figure that out yet?Ava, I don’t fall on my ass ten times at an ice rink for just anyone.And I know it’s early for you to feel the same way.You have to be more cautious because—”
“I’m in love with you too,” I cut him off quickly.
He grins, squeezing my hands.“Then that makes this even easier.”
We glance around us as the crowd starts to count down.
