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“But I only get to see him when he has time off from school.”
Anotherbut.It’s like having another kid.
I sigh.“Well, you might have thought about that before you divorced me, saying that you needed space, and moved up to Philadelphia.”
“That’s not exactly a fair statement.”
“Bryant, nothing about this divorce has ever been fair—tome, Bryant.I take care of him ninety percent of the time and it’s the greatest joy of my life.But it’s wrong for you to swoop in at every holiday and steal him away for the best parts of the year.Do you know what it’s like, always alone on the holidays when my life revolves around that sweet little boy?”
There’s a brief silence and I brace myself for a battle.
“I honestly just thought you liked getting a break from time to time,” he says.
“I love getting a break.And I love to know that he’s having a great time with you.But I’d also love, just sometimes, to be able to see my son on Christmas morning.I think I deserve that.He has lots of three-day weekends throughout the school year that you never take advantage of, and he’s got almost three months in the summer.You’ll still have lots of time to have him up there.”
“You’re right.”
My back straightens and my chin tucks inward at his response.
I am?I wasn’t prepared for this to be so easy.He doesn’t even want to hear my multitude of other reasons I had prepared?
“Thanks,” I say instead.
“Yeah… well, I was a lousy husband.I don’t want to follow it up by being a lousyex-husband,” he adds with a slight laugh, sounding a lot more like the man I knew long ago.
Something inside me shifts, even…heals.
It’s like that little piece of my heart that I was sure had died when I got divorced seems to have a whisper of life still in it.As though just hearing Bryant’s acknowledgement of the pain he brought me somehow makes sharing a son with him that much easier.
I feel grateful for it, especially now as I close out a year and look forward to a new one.
There’s a weighted pause between us.
“You know, you were supposed to say something like how I wasn’tthatbad,” he adds.
I feel myself grin.“You just focus on being a great dad, and let’s leave the rest of it behind us.”
I close our conversation just as a few flurries flutter down on me, and I look upward to the dark sky, remembering that light dusting of snow when I was walking around the Naval Academy grounds with Harris.I warm inside at the memory.
I take in the sight of the festive crowd, so consumed in their own chatter as the midnight hour approaches that I wonder if they even notice the flurries that might cause the fireworks to get canceled.
I should go.It makes me ache to see all the couples, their arms intertwined or bodies locked in an embrace, stealing each other’s heat on this cold night.
I had that—just hours ago.
I had that so recently that I swear I can still feel the warmth of his arms around me right now.
Glancing upward at a streetlamp, I watch the way the snowflakes breeze past its stream of light.Again, my mind drifts to that evening at the Academy.And even when the brief flurries stop, it’s like I can still see them.It’s like it’s that lovely night once more, the night I felt my heart come alive in a way I thought I’d never feel again.
“Ava?”
I grin, still looking upward at the now barren sky.But I’m still at the Academy in my mind, feeling the flutter of snow against my cheeks, and hearing the resonating sound of my name on his lips.
“Ava?”
Wait—what?I snap back to reality and turn, my eyes resting on the sight of Harris not five feet away from me.
“Harris?What are you doing here?”
