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Davis
Merrick’s tongue dances across my bottom lip and my entire body surges happily to life.
My fingers grip the curve of his hip and I groan as I give myself over to these new, amazing feelings. It’s been years since my body has felt so sexually charged, as if I’m suddenly reawakening from a deep, emotional coma. The craving is fierce and intense, and I simply cannot get enough of him or of this.
I open my mouth and weave my tongue with his, and this somewhat innocent kiss goes from mild to mind-blowing in a matter of seconds. My back is against the wall, his body pressed firmly against mine, and nothing has ever felt more incredible, more precious, than this moment right here.
I suppose I could attribute my sudden and mouthwatering thirst for this man as nothing more than someone who has been deprived of physical contact of any kind for years. After we lost Charlotte, I lost that part of myself to the overwhelming grief I was feeling. And since then, I’ve felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not for Chantal, or anyone else. Now suddenly Merrick has come into my life, and I’m starting to feel like myself again. Starting to feel like a man again.
Slowly, he pulls back just enough to whisper, “Is this okay?” I’m still too stunned to speak, so I nod and slide my palm around his neck, pulling him forward once more.
This time his body smashes against mine, and all that I thought I knew about physical connection goes flying out the window. His warmth, his strength, his intensity….it’s all brand new. Different, yet thrilling, and shockingly not off-putting at all like I once imagined it might be. There’s not one thing wrong with how I feel or how I’m reacting. I guess I never expected being this close to a man could be this intense. Or this pleasurable.
He shifts slightly and I can feel the hard outline of his cock pressed against mine. My head begins to swim knowing he feels this strongly for me. I’m dizzy from the effect of his kiss, from the knowledge that I turn him on this much. Between all those pain-filled words he spoke to me, and that damn sexy accent of his, I can’t imagine this getting any better.
And then it does.
Breaking the kiss, he nibbles along my stubbled jaw, working his way to my ear where he whispers, “Does this scare you?” He shifts again, and my cock grows harder just knowing he can feel my response.
“No…not really.” I’m scared only by my intense reaction to him, and by the knowledge that I’m allowing another man to have such beautiful control over my body. “I never…I mean…I can’t begin….”
Pulling back, he gently lays his index finger over my damp lips. “Nothing will happen that you don’t want.” He nuzzles into my neck, each kiss he places there sending my head spinning once more.
It’s just not enough. I need his kiss, his tongue, his soft moans. I need to know that in this moment, there’s just the two of us; not painful memories of the past, not the miserable marriage I’ve stayed in for far too long. There are only the two of us, and this amazing connection we have.
“I need your mouth,” I whisper, surprising myself with my own forwardness. I’ve never been the type of man to air my needs aloud. With Chantal, our lovemaking was mostly silent—a few grunts or groans—but never did we state out loud what we needed or wanted.
Merrick has changed all that for me. At least in this moment, anyway. I have to believe there can be nothing wrong with the powerful reaction we have with one another. But I also have to give it time. This is all new for me, and with it comes responsibility. I can’t just tangle with Merrick whenever I need to scratch an itch. There’s far more to this than just a need to screw ourselves numb.
He moans and locks our mouths together once more, tongues meeting in the middle to dance together. Now that we’re past the initial awkwardness, there’s nothing but carnal need between us. I should put a halt to it; after all he does have friends in the other room. Also, I really do not want to wake up tomorrow morning and regret anything.
The kiss slows on its own and I gently pull back, lifting my eyes to his and seeing all the truth that he’s never hidden from me. Merrick being gay has never entered the picture of our friendship. It’s something I never even considered or have been concerned about. It’s simply who he is. I care about him for the friend he’s been to me, and though I may have no clue what I’m doing, my body certainly does. I haven’t been this hard in years. Many, many years. The few times I’ve actually gotten myself off have only been recently.Since Merrick, I admit, feeling my face flush with that knowledge.
He drops his forehead down onto mine. “You sure you’re okay with this?”
“I think I am.” I may not know where the hell I’m headed in life, but this I do know: he has kissed me and nothing has ever felt more perfect. More right. More honest. Wherever we go from here, whatever happens next, I at least have the satisfaction of knowing that the weird feelings I would occasionally experience around him weren’t imagined.
“We should probably get back to the others.”
I smirk at him and slide one hand around his waist, pulling him closer. “We should probably wait a few minutes.” I punctuate my words with a tip of my hips and he starts to chuckle.
“You’re probably right. Gunner would have a field day with this.”
There’s no way I’m fending off my raging hardon with him this close to me, so with a gentle shove I step aside and put some distance between us. Merrick is silent while I move around his room, admiring the dark furniture, the few pieces of art on the walls, and the massive master bathroom.
“I like seeing you in my space.” Turning, I see him leaning against the wall where I just was, arms pulled across his chest, knowing smile on his lips. And to think just minutes ago we were making out like teenagers. The thought alone makes me laugh. He frowns when I do, and asks, “What? Tell me.”
“I just…I can’t believe…that we…you know.”
Merrick grins and walks forward until our shoes are touching. “Well, believe this then.” Wrapping his hand around my head, he kisses me quickly, then once more nuzzles into my neck like it’s his favorite place to be. “I can’t seem to let you go.”
“Then don’t. Please don’t.” The words roll off my tongue with an ease I’ve never felt before.
In this room, tucked away from the noise of the party, our truths take hold. I’m not naïve enough to think this will be easy, and I’ll most likely have a good panic session when I wake tomorrow morning and realize what I’ve done. But in this moment he’s everything; the only person I trust, the friend who has refused to let me walk away, even though I’ve pushed him to time and time again.
Warm blue eyes meet mine. “Please don’t dwell on this. What’s happening between us doesn’t need to be rushed. If you need to step back and pause, I understand. I just want you to feel comfortable in what you feel… about this…about me.”
I can feel my face heat with embarrassment. “I’ve uh…so I’ve never….” I feel like I’m obligated to inform him that I’ve only ever been with women.
