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Davis
“Looks good.”
I glance at Merrick across the spotless and very organized garage. “Now you can actually park your car in here.”
He chuckles and swipes a forearm across his sweaty forehead. “About time.”
The physical work we’ve done today has felt good, especially after the highs and lows of the morning. It felt strangely okay to open my eyes and find Merrick lying there next to me, spooned together as if we’d been doing it for years. But Aiden arriving unexpectedly certainly put everything into perspective. I saw the concern for his friend in his eyes, and I wish I didn’t believe he had no reason to be worried. My life, however, is not really my own, and Aiden’s apprehension is more than justified. The last thing I want is to hurt the man who has done nothing but support me for months now.
But…. whatever this is between the two of us isn’t going away either. After last night and his willingness to provide comfort and understanding to the crazy man at his door, it seems to me that we’re only getting closer. He cares about me, and he’s not at all afraid to show it, regardless of the shit that’s going on in my life or how nervous I might be. I care about him too, but I’d never ask him to hang around and wait for me, especially since I have no idea if our relationship—or whatever it is that we’re calling it—has sticking power. Furthermore, is a relationship with another man something I’m ready for? How would I ever explain him to my family, or—God forbid—to Chantal? I can already hear the disapproving, snide tone of her voice. I can practically predict the gay-bashing that she and her parents will lay down on me. After everything I’ve been through, I have to ask myself if I’m strong enough to take on the harsh criticism that will undoubtedly come my way once people find out we’re together.
Is that what we are…. together?
“Hey…are you alright?” Merrick strolls over to me, forehead pinched with concern.
I nod. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Reaching out, he threads our fingers together. We haven’t touched since the near-miss right before Aiden arrived this morning, and I gotta say I’m kind of surprised he’s going there now. The garage door is wide open and pretty much anyone walking by could see us together. Shouldn’t the thought of that happening freak me out just a little bit?
“Would you like to talk about it?” Merrick is always so cognizant of my mood, always knowing exactly when to push and when to back off. As such, he gives my hand a squeeze, then steps back to put some room between us. “I’m a good listener.”
“I know you are.” He cocks his head to the side, the unspoken question hanging in mid-air. “Just got a lot going on in my head, that’s all.”
“Understandable.” Moving toward the door leading into the house, he pushes the button on the wall, sending the garage door rolling closed. “Come on. We deserve a beer or two and a good meal for the hard work we’ve done.”
I should head for home, not that my crappy apartment is exactly homey. I’ve been here since late last night, and chances are I’m overstaying my welcome. “I should probably go home.” Following him down the hall and into the kitchen, I find myself slammed up against the nearest wall, Merrick’s body flush with mine.
His eyes drift over my face as one hand lands mid-chest. “Please don’t go.”
I sigh, wrapping one arm around his waist. “You sure?”
He nods, his face lighting with a broad grin that takes my breath away. He’s stunning. “Absolutely sure.” Taking my hand in his, he pulls me further into the room and yanks the fridge door open. “Hamburgers or chicken?”
“Doesn’t matter. You pick.”
Our conversation is light during dinner, just as it always is when I come over and we share a meal. Merrick talks more about his childhood, the various places he’s lived as his family moved around for his dad’s job, and he informs me that he speaks three languages. He’s so worldly compared to me, so polished. I’ve only ever lived here in this city. The only places I’ve been are within the state of California. I’ve never been on an airplane. I don’t have a passport. I’m quite possibly the most unpolished person he could ever meet.
And still… he wants me. I can see it in the long-lingering looks we share while we eat. I can feel it in the warm grasp of his fingers as they reach for mine. He’s always so attentive when I speak, even if I’m not really saying anything at all. It’s all so very unexpected.
“I want to see your place,” he remarks as we straighten the kitchen.
“Why? It’s a piece of shit.”
He turns to me, one damp hand on my neck. “Yes, but it’s your piece of shit.” Leaning forward, he kisses me softly. “Please show me. I want to see you in your own space.”
There’s no way to access the apartment without going through the house. And as unnerving as the idea is that Chantal might see me bringing Merrick home, I can’t really find the will to care. Big deal if she sees us together. It’s not like I’m going to parade him naked through the living room.
The thought makes me smile, and then I feel my face flush with embarrassment. Thank God he doesn’t notice. Or if he does, he doesn’t say a word.
Thankfully, Chantal’s car is gone, which brings some relief to the erratic way my heart is tripping over itself. Merrick is silent as he follows me into the dark house and out the kitchen door; remaining so while we climb the stairs and I shove the apartment door open. Lights are flicked and he moves to the center of the room, slowly turning in a circle to take it all in.
“Bad, huh?”
He smirks at me. “Well, it’s not great.” Walking across the room, he frowns at the futon mattress that is piled with blankets. “I cannot believe you’ve lived here for years. Isn’t it freezing in the winter?”
I shrug. “It can be.”
Turning to face me, he makes his way back across the room until we’re standing toe to toe. “Come home with me. Stay tonight. Stay as long as you want.”
