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Davis
Patsy pops her head into my office, a big grin across her red-painted lips.
“There’s a very handsome British man asking for you.” She rolls her eyes in that dreamy way only women seem to be able to pull off. “He’s so sweet! He asked me not to bother you if you were busy.”
My stomach flips upside down, the breath feels caught in my chest, unable to escape. There’s only one sweet, very handsome British man I know. The same man I’ve been trying to forget. The same man whose smile haunts my dreams, whose voice I hear inside my head on a daily basis. The only man I’ve ever loved. The only person I’ll ever love so completely.
“Thanks, Patsy. Would you mind showing him back?” There’s no way in hell I can stroll into the Service Department and face Merrick for the first time in almost two months in front of all my co-workers. As it is, I’m not quite certain my legs will hold me up if I try to stand. My entire body is shaking with anticipation. With fear. With need. Always need.
She winks at me. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”
While I wait, I straighten the papers on my desk; put the stapler and pens in their proper places. I glance down at my clothes and cringe. Nothing remotely appealing about a shirt with my name on the pocket. Not that I need to be appealing to him. I mostly just need to get through this conversation, since chances are he knows by now that my house is on the market and for all intents and purposes I am moving on.
It’s been a chaotic few months and I wish I could say that taking these steps into a new future have been without strife. They haven’t. Not by a long shot. Settling in at Grady’s has gone well and my relationship with him has gotten so much better. We share long talks over dinner each night, go running together a few times a week. He’s become a really good friend to me, letting me talk about Merrick when the memories try to smother me. He’s supportive and encouraging, yet I can’t seem to get him to open up to me about anything in his life. He’s the work in progress that I used to be, which I suppose I should be grateful for. I’d change it all if it meant Merrick was still in my life.
My relationship with Chantal has its good and bad days. We’ve argued plenty over the house, somehow settled on a sale price, and listed it a few weeks ago. It’s been painted and repaired from top to bottom; she paid for the work, I coordinated it. It will mean less money in the end for me what’s its sold, but at least the hard part is behind us now.
It is a bittersweet end to a life that once felt so promising. A life that has changed in every way. I still haven’t confided in her about my relationship with Merrick. I truly see no point to it. He’s no longer mine and our relationship is over. And it’s not as if I’m out trolling for a new relationship every weekend. Just the idea of putting myself out there like that again makes me ill. It’s going to be a long time—years perhaps—before I’m ever going to be emotionally ready to think about getting involved with someone. Maybe never.
“It was lovely meeting you, Mr. Whitley,” Patsy gushes as they enter the outer hall where I can hear them talking.
“Please, call me Merrick.”
She’s blushing by the time she steps up to my door, her wrinkled hand against his arm. “Merrick, please go right in. Davis is waiting for you.” I can’t even look at him with her standing there. But she’s right….I have been waiting for him. I’ve been waiting for months. I might have been waiting for years and have just never realized it.
“Thank you, Patsy.”
The moment I hear the door close, I lift my head to look at him. How is it possible that the man is more stunning than he was the last time I saw him? His blue eyes sparkle, even though I can see how tired he is by the dark circles under them. His hair is slightly longer, a mass of tousled waves that I itch to run my hands through. He’s dressed for work—crisp blue button down dress shirt and khaki slacks. No tie today. The top button of his shirt is open, giving me a glimpse of the warm skin beneath. I want to pounce. I want to pull him into my arms and kiss him until neither of us can think straight. Or think at all. I want Merrick back in my arms, in my bed, in my life. Forever.
Oh, how I love this man. I love him in a way that scares me and thrills me and takes me by surprise each and every day. The love I have for him is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt, or at least as equal to what I felt when I held Charlotte in my arms. He was such a beautiful surprise the day he walked into my life and became my friend. Because of him, I’m now a better man, a better person, a much better brother and son. With his friendship, his love, he’s helped me to heal. He’s helped me realize that it’s okay to smile and to love.To love again. And that it’s okay to be sad too. It’s all about the balance.
“Hello, my love.” He whispers, eyes shining brightly with emotion, flooded with tears. “I really was just stopping by to see if we could get together for a meal or coffee and just….talk.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “One look at you and I’m a mess.”
I’m up and around the desk before he can say another word, stepping in front of him and looking him over. He still looks the same, still smells the same. He still smiles at me like I’m his everything, still looks at me with so much love it takes my breath away.
My hands rise slowly, cradling his face and sighing at that first touch. I’ve dreamt about this moment so many, many times. I’ve conjured up moments such as this when he walks into my life from wherever he’s been, wanting me…loving me…just as he once did.
His fingers wrap around my wrists as our foreheads fall together. We breathe in tandem, eyes closed as we each absorb the moment and each other. I have no idea what brought him here on this random Wednesday in late January, but the reasoning doesn’t matter. He’s here. He’s in my arms. And I’m never letting him go again.
“I moved out,” I whisper.
“I know. I talked to Aiden and Gunner.”
Pulling slightly back, our eyes meet. “What took you so long to come to me?”
He chuckles. “I needed to get my life in order. Sort out my head.”
Snickering, I wrap my hand around his neck, thumb stroking the soft skin. “I’ve been doing some of that myself.”
“I know.”
Our heads fall together again, my fingers now threaded in his hair. “I’ve missed you.”
“Oh love, I’ve missed you more.”
Damn him and his sexy accent. Gets me every time. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
His fingers dance across my cheek, cupping my jaw as he grins. “I’ll go anywhere with you. Don’t you know that?”
I’m momentarily stunned, caught off guard by the way this man loves me; much as I was at the beginning of this crazy ride. We may not be perfect. We may not even be entirely suited for one another. But he’s mine…always has been. And from this moment on, he always will be.
Pressing my lips to his, I whisper, “I do. I really do.”
