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Iwokeuptoan empty bed and a couple of girls screaming down the hall. Something about a stolen boyfriend, or some other garbage I didn’t care to get involved with. I rolled over, curling my pillow over my head so I didn’t have to hear.
Living in a dorm was the worst, especially when said dorm mates couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. My alarm set to wake me up for my first class would be going off soon, and I wanted to sleep every minute I could before Olivia barged into my room.
How anyone could be as much of a morning person as her, I had no idea. The pillow did nothing to muffle the sounds of the fight, and as I slowly woke up, I realized where I was.
This wasn’t university. I wasn’t in my dorm, waiting for my alarm clock to go off.
In fact, when was the last time I had even set an alarm?
I was in a motel, in the hands of the Kingsnakes, and girls I didn’t know were fighting for reasons I definitely didn’t want to know about.
I flopped over, the hard springs of the mattress digging into my hips and back. Not the most comfortable bed in the world, but after sleeping in the woods for years I wasn’t about to complain.
The indentation of Ray’s lean body was still cut into the thin mattress next to me.Ray. When I had fled the city, I swore to leave it all behind. Memories only rubbed salt into wounds I would rather forget.
So I had decided to forget it all – easier said than done, of course. Olivia’s disappearance, school, my future,Ray. Yet the second he pulled down his mask and I looked at his sculpted face and into those gray eyes that always seemed to see right through me, I knew. There had never been a chance for me to forget any of it. My body remembered the way he touched me, the way he made me come alive in his hands.
But I also knew I couldn’t stay here. It would be dangerous to leave, but I’d rather die trying than be cycled around every month, passed from brother to brother. I lucked out with Ray this month, but I had no idea how much sway he held within the Kingsnakes, and couldn’t tell what next month would bring. Meaning, I had approximately 29 days to get my ass out of here.
Would he come with me?The thought sprang to my mind unbidden. Could he leave everything behind and follow me into the unknown?
It wasn’t like there was much to leave behind anymore, aside from a solid roof over one’s head. Otherwise, it was mostly safer outside the city limits.
We’d have to bring Avery, of course, and Ella too. I didn’t know how old she was, which could be problematic. If she was too young, Ray wouldn’t risk bringing her, but he also wouldn’t leave her behind.
And what about all the other girls, hiding behind the worn and broken motel doors? Could I really leave them behind, knowing exactly what fate I was abandoning them to?
You don’t owe them anything. True, I didn’t. But that didn’t lessen the guilt. Not for the first time, I wished I could’ve been one of those people who lost their morals along with the rest of their lives.
I groaned and stretched, finding the clothes Ray had roughly discarded the night before. I yanked on my pants, remembering to check the pocket for what I had left there.
I pulled out my almost-empty lighter. The worn Florida emblem, nearly down to the bare aluminum, still brought a smile to my face. This would definitely come in handy, so long as I could keep it hidden.
I didn’t want to leave the relative safety of my room, but the screaming was getting louder, and my stomach was growling. The girls, while thin, didn’t seem to be starving, so I had to assume there was food for ussomewherein this decrepit establishment. I tugged on my sneakers and cracked open the door.
Down the hall, a tall brunette was pulling the hair of a blonde girl.
“Youknewhe was going to choose me this month! I fuckingtold youhe was choosing me! But you justhadto waltz in here with those ghastly tits sticking out of that nasty-ass dress, and lure him away from me!”
The blonde sneered, trying to claw at the brunette’s face but missing by an inch or two. “It’s notmyproblem Brother Hamlet is obsessed with me. Maybe if you had more to offer than a flat fucking ass, he would’ve picked you.”
Lord, I did not want to get involved with this. Did these girls not realize what they were fighting over? Which guy they wanted to breed them, to keep them here against their will?
And then it hit me, as the brunette gasped and whirled back to slap the blonde. The same way I took control over my life by escaping to the woods, these girls were asserting what little control they had over their lives. Picking out which guy they wanted to choose them, acting like they had a say in the matter. It probably made the horrific situation more liveable.
I looked around the hallway as the verbal fight dissolved into physical blows. A small group of girls gathered around the fight – probably the most excitement they’d had in weeks. But other girls peeked out of their doors, like me. Across the hall, a tiny redhead offered me a delicate smile. I smiled back, unsure.
Did I want to make friends here, or did I just want to get the hell out before the guilt set in? The redhead looked both ways, then tiptoed across the hall to my room. She pushed past me, but left the door open a crack.
“They don’t like us being in the same room alone with the door shut. But apparently hallway fist fights are okay.” She rolled her eyes and flashed me a friendly smile. I immediately liked her. “I’m Hannah.”
Hannah. “Ra… uh, Brother Prospero told me to find you. I’m Mila.” Hannah was small and pale, too doll-like for my mind to make sense of in the dirty motel. Out in the hall, one of the girls shrieked, and someone clapped.
Hannah’s smile widened. “You don’t need to worry about the formalities with me. Ray and I knew each other in high school. The Collapse made a small world smaller, I guess.” She shrugged and tipped her head to one side. “He spoke about you once, you know. I don’t think he meant to. You must really mean a lot to him.”
My mind immediately wondered why Ray would’ve said my name. He said he didn’t breed the girls, but he had fucked me last night. And he knew Hannah. Would he have had sex with her, pulling her red hair away from her face so he could watch her fall apart? Did he whisper my name as he came inside her? The idea made me squeamish in a way I couldn’t describe. I didn’t have a claim over him. Ray was his own person, free to live his life however he wanted to.
Tell that to the tiny ache in the bottom of my heart...
