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“But...”
I raised my eyebrow at him. “But?”
Ray pressed his hand against my stomach, where our baby would grow if we ever had one. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like?”
“Of course I’ve wondered.” I dreamed about it, the first few years after I left. The life I had given up for my supposed freedom. Wondering what our babies would look like, what Ray would be like as a father. All of it seemed far-fetched at this point. “But I think we should just try and survive for now.”
Ray laughed. “Fair enough.” He pressed a light kiss to my lips. “I should go.”
“You should,” I agreed. But neither of us moved, enjoying the quiet for just a moment longer. The next time he came back, it wouldn’t be this peaceful. We would be stressed, trying to make sure we were able to slip away quietly. It would be hectic and overwhelming, and this second of peace felt important for everything that would follow.
“Okay,” he groaned. “I’m going. I’ll see you tomorrow. Be ready, okay? Bring only what you need.”
I nodded. “I’ll be waiting.”
With one last kiss, he opened the door and snuck into the still-empty hallway. I watched him go, remaining in the relative safety of my room. The hall was deserted, no one around to see Ray’s strong back retreat down the stairs. One more day. We just had to get through one more day.
I stepped back to close the door, ready to pass the time however I could until Ray returned. But just before I did, I heard the unmistakable sound of another door latching closed. Someone else had seen Ray leaving my room, and I had no idea who it was.
For the rest of the day, I avoided the rest of the girls like the plague. I had no idea who had seen Ray leave, or if they had seen him leave my room specifically, but I couldn’t take any chances.
I had stashed a couple of granola bars under my bed, so food wasn’t a problem, and I had showered the day before.
I stood in the middle of my room, trying to focus on packing my meager belongings instead of the potential of us getting caught. It wasn’t much, but it was something to take my mind off things. My lighter was still safe in my pocket. It didn’t have a lot of juice left, but it’d be in case of emergencies.
My clothes were clean. I didn’t have much else to get ready. The Kingsnakes had taken my bag when I first arrived, so God only knew what happened to it. I came here with nothing, but I was leaving with a couple granola bars. And Ray.
I eyed the bedding on my mattress. It was thin and worn, but it was fabric, and who knew what the forecast held in store. I could bundle the pillow into the comforter for one of the girls to carry.
It would be awkward, but not overly heavy, and I was certain we’d be grateful for it when night fell.
The late afternoon sun chased the daylight, until finally it was dusk. I flipped on my camping lantern and took a seat on my bed. I would take my lantern as well, and if I went down to the kitchen just before lunch tomorrow it would likely be empty. I could grab some more food.
Not all of it, because I wanted to leave some behind for the girls who took advantage of the unlocked doors, but enough to have just in case. I lay on my bed, unable to sleep. I was anxious about tomorrow, terrified about all the things that could go wrong. We had to leave after Dogberry arrived, so he wouldn’t see us from a distance and alert anyone else.
But we also had to leave early enough to give us a head start before anyone noticed we were missing, so the window of opportunity was small. There was a small possibility the brothers from the maternity ward would catch us, but their windows faced the front of the building.
With all these scenarios swirling in my head, I barely slept at all. Instead, I thought up exit strategies and Plan Bs, enough that I felt prepared for anything the Kingsnakes could throw at us. I was getting the hell out of here, Ray and his sisters in tow, and leaving a trail in my wake for the rest of the girls to follow.
Fuck the Kingsnakes who thought they could keep me down, the men who thought they could use a woman like a piece of property. I’d show them all what it looked like to really survive after the Collapse. I drifted in and out of sleep, not rested enough to feel refreshed, but enough to escape.
Eventually the night gave way to dawn, a brittle sun exorcizing the mist as I watched through the cracks in my window. It was going to be a beautiful day. Brisk and cool, but sunny. The kind of day where people would be playing in parks and inviting friends over for dinner.
It would also be the perfect day for us to escape. I snacked on a granola bar, listening for the sounds of the girls going for breakfast. Then I waited for them to return. When I knew I would be the only one in the kitchen, I cracked open my door wider and tiptoed to the stairs.
We weren’t going to leave until later, but I could still stock up from the kitchen. None of the doors creaked open, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
At the bottom of the stairs, my relief turned into annoyance. Instead of the morning door brother I was expecting, Dogberry sat at a table playing solitaire.
This wasnotwhat we needed. I hoped Ray was already on his way. We were losing precious time if not.
“Well if it isn’t my new girl of the month.” He greeted me with a smile that made me want to gag. “Are you excited for tonight? I promise we’ll have a lot more fun than boring Prospero.” I shrugged, faking nonchalance.
“I guess we’ll see if you’re all talk or not after the Choosing.”
“Believe me. I’m not all talk.” He glared at me, slapping a card down on one of the stacks. “What are you doing down here anyways? All the girls already came for breakfast.”
“I wasn’t hungry until now. Is that okay?” I rolled my eyes, toeing the line just enough so he wouldn’t think anything was out of the ordinary, but not enough to piss him off.
