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“So we’re still going to see Mom?”
Jamie nods with a tight smile. “I wouldn’t miss it, Mik.”
Ben
One. Two. Three. Four.
I push the air from my lungs as the burn in my chest builds.
Around me, the city still sleeps as I remain completely wired – my body wound with enough tension to keep me racing forwards - even as the air I inhale burns my throat. Every single step brings new flickers of her to me; the heat of her lips, the taste of her skin, the shake of her fingers as they pressed into my chest.Every second is flooded with Mikaela. And for every wave that comes, a thought I don’t want to face follows: I broke my promise.
Astheelevatordoorspull open, I breathe out a sigh of disappointment.
Her desk is empty.
Jamie is going to kill me.
Jamie is going to kill me and I don’t particularly care.
All I want to do right now is see her and speak to her. I want to find out what she’s thinking. If I’m honest with myself, I just want to breathe in the air around her and feel her close to me. And the reality of that is dangerous.
I move through the space quickly, pushing down any thought of her as I focus on the day ahead. I have meetings, contracts to read over and a tonne of papers I neglected last night. Maybe if I just focus on that then I’ll be able to block out the feeling of having her legs wrapped around my waist and the sound of her breath hitching as my fingers gripped her thighs.
I shake my head and push forwards, aiming for my office and groaning as the elevator doors shift behind me and an all too familiar laugh lilts through the air.
“Ben!” Jamie calls out as he pushes through the half open doors and glares at me. Mikaela’s laugh skids to a halt. “What the hell?”
My blood turns to ice and I hold my breath as I turn slowly. Mikaela isn’t looking at me. She’s staring at the floor as she pushes her hair behind her ear and slips towards her desk. She’s hiding. My eyes are glued to her as she twists away though, placing her phone into her desk drawer and firing up the computer for the day ahead, moving as if nothing has changed. Moving as if her brother isn’t barrelling towards me, ready to rip my head off.
“Jamie.” I blink and turn to face my best friend as nausea rolls over me. “I can -”
“I mean, I know you two hate each other’s guts, but I had to get an Uber home this morning just to get changed.” Jamie shakes his head as he laughs and my words stick in my throat. The tremor of my hands slow as I push them deep into my pockets and tilt my head. Jamie looks expectantly at me and I fumble for some sense in his words. “You couldn’t have woken me up and dropped me home?”
“I - what?”
Jamie doesn’t know?
“I told you, JimJam,” Mikaela says, her voice quiet and soft. “He had a family thing. I told him not to wake you.”
Her eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second, wide and pleading, before she turns back to the glowing screen and begins to input passwords to the programmes she needs. My chest thumps.
Jamie doesn’t know.
“Right. Yeah. Sorry, I just -” I stare at Mikaela. “Erm - yeah.”
Jamie’s laughter bounces off of the walls as he claps his hand across my shoulder, knocking me forwards slightly, and starts to make his way through the office.
“I’m messing with you, man. Everything’s okay though, right? With your mom?”
“Mhmm. Yeah.” I shake my head and fake a smile as Jamie walks away from us both. “False alarm.”
With the click of the door telling me we’re alone, I move to Mikaela’s desk, closing the distance between us with just a few strides, before stopping beside her in silence. She flinches slightly as she pretends to busy herself with yesterday’s email list and double checking the day’s schedule and I wait, watching as her fingers swipe over the keys quickly.
She refuses to acknowledge me.
“Can we talk about it?” I glance over my shoulder before leaning past her and moving the mouse so that she can’t deflect by doing anything else.
“Your office is in the back, Haston.” Her voice is cold and unfeeling, and I feel it like a knife twisting in my gut.
