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“Briggs, she’s fine,” Maddison says, giggling as she rolls her eyes. “She’s snoring. You can drive faster.”
I nod. She’s right. Okay, she’s fine back there. I increase my speed to forty, and Maddison just laughs. This might be the scariest fucking car ride of my entire life, and although I drive a truck with snow tires, it’s not covered in armored steel, therefore I’m going to worry. Who cares if it’s just back roads?
Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, I pull into the parking lot of her apartment. I hop out and rush around to Maddison’s door, opening it then holding out my hand to help her out.
When her hand slides in mine, soft and delicate, I hold back a shudder. My thoughts immediately flash back to the night we met, the night that changed everything. The way our bodies moved together, slick with sweat, and how she writhed beneath me.
She gets out of the truck slowly, before turning back to me. “Can you grab Olive for me? I’m not supposed to pick up anything heavy just yet. Her seat...”
“Of course. Anything you need.”
I unhook Olive’s infant carrier from the base, and then sling her bag over my shoulder to make sure the blanket isn’t covering her face. When she was asleep earlier, I went on Amazon and scrolled through at least twenty pages of baby books, then ordered the top ten.
I don’t know shit about babies, but I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I’m the best father I can be to my daughter. Including spending all of my free time reading every baby book I can get my hands on. Maddison pulls her house keys from her bag then turns toward the apartment. Olive and I trail behind her, and while we do, I checkout the neighborhood.
It’s not in the best part of town, which worries me, so I make a mental note to talk with her about it later.
"It’s not much, but it’s mine,” she says as she swings the door open and leads me inside. Fuck, it is tiny.
That makes me sound like an asshole, so I keep my thoughts to myself, but how in the hell are they going to live in this place? I set the diaper bag down on the coffee table and gently place the baby carrier on the ground, my eyes still scanning the small space.
Where is she going to keep all the shit for a baby?
“Want a tour? There’s not much to see,” she says shyly.
I nod. "Of course.”
My eyes dart back to the front door, realizing there is only one deadbolt, and a rush of protectiveness surges deep in my chest. I’m headed right to the fucking hardware store to add three more locks to the door.
With Olive sleeping quietly in her carrier, I follow behind Maddison, trying my best to keep my eyes off her ass and on the space she’s showing me, although there isn’t much for me to see. She takes me into the bedroom, which is filled to the brim with both her and Olive’s stuff.
There’s a suspicious looking black fungus growing out of the air vent on the ceiling, the wallpaper is peeling and faded from years of wear and tear, and the door creaks so loudly on the hinges, there’s no way it didn’t wake Olive up. She doesn’t even have a bassinet or a crib.
Reading my thoughts, she says, “She’s going to sleep with me in a co-sleeping bassinet. I have it put up in the closet.” She nods toward the door next to a pile of diaper boxes. “There’s not really enough room for a crib, so this will do for now.”
She’s right when she said it isn’t much, but it’s obvious that she keeps things spotless and organized. It still doesn’t make me feel any better about her or my daughter sleeping here, especially with that half-ass lock on the door. I look back at Maddison, watching as she fidgets nervously with her hands, and then her gaze drags up to meet mine.
“If you want to take a shower, or relax, I’m more than happy to stay and hold Olive. I’d actually really like to, if that’s okay with you.”
She nods as soon as the words leave my mouth. While our situation isn’t normal by any means, I think we’re both finding solace together for the simple fact that we’re not navigating uncharted waters alone.
“That would be amazing. I think I’m uh...” She looks down at her top where there are two wet spots forming on the outside of her sweatshirt. A blush travels up her neck to the tips of her cheeks as she stutters, “Oh G-god-d, this is so embarrassing.” She drops her head into her hands, and I immediately walk over, removing them from her face.
“Hey, you don’t have to be embarrassed around me, Maddison. You gave me the greatest gift I could’ve ever fucking imagined. Your body did remarkable things.” Without thinking, I reach up and brush a piece of hair that’s fallen free from the messy bun at her nape. “Go shower and relax, she and I will be just fine. If you need anything, let me know.”
I toss a grin over my shoulder and walk back to the small living room and begin unbuckling Olive from her seat. She stretches her little arms and legs out before curling back into the tiniest of balls in my arm. Using one hand, I lay her blanket out onto the couch, and try like hell to remember how the nurse taught us to swaddle or whatever the hell it’s called.
She seems to like the blanket tightly around her, so I gently place her on the blanket and wrap her up in it exactly the way the nurse instructed. It’s loose in a few places, but fuck it, until yesterday, I didn’t even know what the hell a swaddle was. I’ll get better in time. I sink into the couch with her swaddled in my arms and take in the living room and tiny kitchen.
Once Maddison and I talk about what will happen with the three of us, the first thing I want to do is get them out of here.
