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There was no happily ever after…at least not in my world.
By just being lovers, the sex was always good. There was always heat. And there was no commitment, no expectation. He didn’t own me, so he couldn’t possess me, couldn’t knock me around to punish me.
I didn’t belong to him.
But Hades had pushed me too far.
At first, I felt relief. The weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I could glide. I got clean and killed my addiction. I quit cold turkey and had to keep moving. I would find another man, find someone who could please me without wanting something more.
But once a week had come and gone, the addiction started to kick in again.
I missed him.
So fucking much.
I missed the way he slid his hand into my hair and kissed me. I missed the way he gripped my ass when he said goodbye. I missed the way those brown eyes would fuck me across the room. Every kiss was heavenly, every fuck was divine.
Who was I kidding…? There was no one else like him.
Hades Lombardi was one of a kind.
I didn’t want to call him and open the door to our complicated relationship. But I also wanted to get laid…and get laid good. I had to decide what I wanted—and how much I wanted it. It was becoming obvious that Hades would continue to push for more with me, to get me to open my shattered heart and hand it over to him.
Never gonna happen.
But I was weak…and horny…and miserable.
So, I called.
I was sitting on the couch in my apartment with the phone against my ear. Every time it rang, I held my breath because he could pick up at any moment. It continued to ring until it went to a robotic voice messaging system.
I hung up.
I was disappointed. I’d expected him to answer.
Maybe he was with someone else. Maybe he’d already moved on. Maybe I wasn’t as special to him as I thought.
Hours passed, and he didn’t call me back.
Maybe he wasn’t going to. Maybe all the damage I’d caused couldn’t be fixed. When I told him we shouldn’t see each other anymore, he wordlessly left the room and didn’t look back. There was no fight. He just gave in.
Anxious, I texted him. Can we talk?
Silence.
I gave up and set my phone on the couch. I’d pushed away the best sex of my life. Now he was probably with someone else. Why did he have to screw everything up? Why didn’t he just leave it alone? Why couldn’t we be lovers who didn’t give a damn about each other?
My phone started to ring.
It was him.
My heart did a somersault into my stomach before I answered.
His deep voice was scary, full of rage and annoyance. “What do you want?”
He was so cold I wasn’t sure if I should hang up. I should have been stronger and not called him in the first place. Now that I was faced with his hostility, I realized this plan was stupid. My hormones never should have been put in charge.
“I asked you a question.”
My god, he was terrifying. “I’m sorry I called…”
“If you meant that, you wouldn’t have called me in the first place. Say what you have to say.”
I didn’t realize how gentle he’d been with me in the past now that I was facing this different version of him. This must be the drug-dealer version, the villain I never met. “I miss you…that was all I had to say.”
His response was silence.
Now I felt stupid for saying that out loud.
“What do you want me to do about that?”
Geez, he could be a dick when he was pissed. “Nothing. I just—”
“Bullshit. It’s ten o’clock right now. You want me to come over there and fuck you. That’s what you want me to do about it.”
I couldn’t believe this was the same man who’d placed my hand over his heart and vowed he would never hurt me. He was sensitive, passionate…kind. “Yes…”
“And why would I want to do that?”
As if he’d punched me in the stomach, I felt my lungs deflate. I felt embarrassed, assuming he would want what I wanted.
“You dumped me, remember? You think I’m just gonna come crawling back like some kind of pussy?”
Definitely not.
“No, Sofia. Fuck you.” Click.
He hung up on me.
I lowered the phone to my side, ripped apart by that cold insult. He made me feel weak. He humiliated me. He made me feel stupid for dumping him in the first place. He made me feel even dumber for calling him. And he made me want him even more…because I couldn’t have him.
I picked up the phone and called him again.
He answered immediately. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry, okay?”
Silence.
“I’m sorry I reacted that way. You were just…suffocating me. I told you a million times I don’t want anything serious, but you kept pressuring me. I’m not going to change my mind, so just let it go.”
