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“I’m not—” I couldn’t get the lie out.
He just stared at me, big black eyes so sad that my dagger lowered, just a little.
“It’s not your fault, Ash,” he said hoarsely. “What she made you do.”
But it was. I didn’t have to do it. She couldn’t control me with my name. To my utter mortification, my eyes got hot.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” I seethed to try and hide it. “You think you can just follow me out here and I won’t kill you? You just saw me kill someone for no reason.”
Saying it out loud made panic tighten my chest. I tried very hard to hide my quickening breaths.
The fae drew his blade in a rush, moving faster than I ever could. But rather than fly at me, he threw it to the side somewhere, into the bushes. Then he took a step closer, making my breath hitch with panic.
“I don’t know why you’re here,” he began in a low voice. “What you are planning, but I understand what you… have to hide.”
What? I bared my teeth at him. “You don’t know anything.”
“Please don’t get yourself killed, Ash.” His mouth trembled, pink and blue glimmering in his black eyes. “Please be careful.”
“Whatever you’re trying to do won’t work,” I snarled, adjusting the grip on my dagger.
He shook his head. “I’m not trying to do anything. I just didn’t want you to be alone after that. I know the pain of it.”
I stared at him, my chest pumping too fast, my blood too hot in my veins as the terrible adrenaline from murdering a fae for absolutely no reason continued to course through me.
“Who are you?” I asked.
Pain tightened his eyes for a moment. “Lonan.”
I pursed my lips. “I don’t remember you from unseelie.”
His lips quirked into a tiny sad smile that made my throat close up.
“We knew each other well.”
I stared at him with a hard frown. “What?”
I couldn’t remember him at all. But the way he’d said that… I flushed. Had I gotten drunk and fucked this fae one night after going to the tavern? I couldn’t remember ever doing that. I couldn’t remember ever getting drunk at the tavern.
There was one night… I remembered having a little Christmas celebration alone in my cottage a few days after the Winter Solstice. I’d gotten drunk then—I definitely had. And the rest of that night was a blur.
My face grew hotter. Had I stumbled into the village and picked up this fae?
I cleared my throat. “I… You mean…?”
His cheeks flushed faintly, and I resisted the urge to bite down on my lip as sweet warmth filled my chest, chasing away some of the churning guilt that was making me feel sick.
When he nodded, my hand with the dagger dropped to my side. I cleared my throat again, feeling incredibly awkward that I didn’t remember it.
And really fucking annoyed. I’d fuckedthisfae—this mind-blowingly beautiful, husky-voiced fae—and didn’t remember it at all?
“Really?” I asked hesitantly, then flushed deeper. I was making itfartoo obvious that I couldn’t recall a second of our encounter.
“Yes, but…” The fae took a halting step closer, making my breath catch in my throat—but for a different reason this time. He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“No,” I blurted. “I…”
I didn’t know what I wanted to say. What I wanted to do, as I stared at this beautiful unseelie fae in the dark. Adrenaline was still making me vibrate, making me feel hot and restless, filling me with urgency to dosomething.
