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He was standing close now. And his blade was gone, carelessly discarded in the bushes. If I lifted my hand, I could touch him.
I wanted to touch him.
The dagger slipped from my fingers and landed on the stone with a clatter as I closed the distance between us and kissed him hard. I had no idea what I was doing. Why I was doing this. But the moment my lips touched his, it feltright.
And the fae was kissing me back. He let out a helpless sound against my mouth, then his arms were wrapping around my neck and his fingers were in my hair, and it felt so good that I moaned as I thrust my tongue against his.
I blindly backed him up into the wall and plastered my body against his front, my spindly branch fingers dropping to grip his firm ass too tight. I was being far too forward, but the fae was clinging to me and kissing me like he never wanted to stop, and Icouldn’thave stopped in that moment.
We both moaned breathlessly when our hard cocks rubbed with layers of leather between us. God, I needed this. I hadn’t fucked anyone in so long—not that I could remember, anyway—and my body was on fire, too keyed up from what I had done. Too desperate to forget it, to chase away the guilt, just for a little while.
I was shaking hard already. I reached between us with a trembling hand and palmed his hard cock through the leather, groaning into his mouth as I mapped out the long, stiff outline of him. Fuck, I wanted it. I didn’t care how. I wasravenousfor him, so surely whatever forgotten night we’d spent together had been good. Surely he could make me feel good for a little while, at least. Make me forget.
The fae shuddered from my eager touch. I was sure he’d told me his name, but I’d forgotten it already. Shame almost made me pull back, until he fisted my hair tighter and thrust his tongue into my mouth. I melted, gentling my touch against his cock to rub it through the leather.
“Ash.” The fae’s head tipped back against the stone wall, breaking our kiss.
I kissed across his jaw to his neck, trailing my tongue down the straining tendon as he panted and his hips bucked into my hand. I finally let go of his ass to fumble with both hands for the lacing on his trousers, reaching in when I got it open to feel the hot, hard length of him. I moaned against his neck, still shaking like I was already on the verge of coming.
But when I went to pull him out, he stiffened against me.
“No, wait.”
I let go immediately, my face heating with shame and embarrassment as I jerked back. “God, I’m sorry—”
“No,” he blurted again, still breathing hard. His black eyes flashed with arousal and regret. “I want to. More than you know. But… we can’t.”
I tried to calm my raging body, reaching up with a trembling hand to shove my wild curls back from my face. I nodded. “Because… because I’m seelie?”
He let out a tiny, pained sound and shook his head. “No, that’s not why.”
I cleared my throat, wishing my shirt covered my straining erection as I took another step back. “Alright. I’m…”
I resisted the urge to apologise again. In the sudden, jarring silence, the fae let out a shuddering breath and fumbled with the lacing on his trousers, making my cheeks heat.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked before I could stop myself.
He looked up at me as his face crumpled with pain. And grief, which I didn’t understand. But then he was stepping closer and cupping my face, resting his forehead against mine.
Hesitantly, I palmed his sides, resisting the intense desire to pull him closer. Something else I didn’t understand, except that I knew I wanted him fiercely. So much that my chest was tight, and my throat spasmed as I fought the urge to cry.
“I love you,” the fae mumbled hoarsely, making me tense up.
But then he was stepping back and retrieving his blade from the bushes before turning and walking away, back towards the palace. I didn’t move as I watched him, not realising my hand had crept up to my throat until I felt my fingers curl around something there.
