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Thirteen
Calm Before the Mayhem
Vannah
It was a shame, and Vannah felt so guilty that her parents had spent all that money on tickets to the Frozen musical in Hollywood for the whole family and she hadn’t been able to enjoy any of it. Byron’s response to her text had been such a blow to her heart the entire night it’d been all she could think of. She’d read it several times thinking she must’ve read it wrong. Maybe he meant something else by his time withheralways turning into an overnight thing. But after rehashing it with Xochitl for as much as even her cynical friend tried to make something different of it, they’d both come to the same disappointing conclusion. Despite the amazing night they had last week, and all the time they’d spent video chatting this past week, Byron was making it clear now that she’d been right about her first thought on why he asked her out to begin with. He was in no way looking for anything serious. This was probably his way of pulling back in case she was getting too ahead of herself.
It was almost embarrassing. Had her excitement and willingness to talk to him all week, day and night and into the wee hours of the morning been too over-the-top? Vannah could only conclude that her eagerness had spooked him. She’d triedsohard to not sound as incredibly disappointed when he cancelled the lunch date she’d so been looking forward to. Even her text about trying to squeeze in some time with him the next evening had been reworded a million times as to not come across as needy in case it’s why he’d cancelled their lunch to begin with.
But his response to her text had sealed it. He’d made no bones about it. This was his way of making it clear, this was what she was in for with him. She couldn’t even blame him. Here she’d been all about not being into the boyfriend thing and it was exactlywhyhe’d been into her to begin with. Her gut feeling that he was all for this because she wouldn’t be expecting more from her had been spot on. Then she had to ruin it with her weak admission that she missed him.
Once they’d agreed that there was no doubt about what he was making clear in his text, Xochitl was livid. They’d been sitting at the kitchen table in their dorm scrutinizing the stupid text Vannah had kept to herself the entire night before.
“I’m good?”Xochitl frowned after sipping her coffee.“That’s rude as fuck and I don’t like him—at all—anymore. He may as well have said—” Xochitl held her hand up in the air all animated “—Pass!”
If it didn’t hurt so much Vannah might’ve laughed at that. Instead, she pouted and to her surprise was incapable of stopping her lips from trembling as the warm tears filled her eyes. Xochitl immediately leaned over and patted her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of it, honey. Guys are assholes.”
Vannah shook her head brushing away the tears with her fingers. “I just feel so stupid, is all.”
“Don’t,” Xochitl insisted. “You said the beach last week was incredibly romantic and then you were so caught up with himallweek, you and I hardly spoke! Of course, you’d think there was more to all of this.”
“But he even made a point that night to bring up that I wasn’t expecting anything serious about this. I forced him to be this blunt.”
“No.” her adamant roomie insisted. “He didn’t have to be an asshole about it. He could’ve just said he’d already made plans. Why be so explicit about it?
“Because after avoiding me all week and then cancelling on me, my weak ass couldn’t keep the fact that I missed him to myself.”
“And what was his response?” Xochitl arched a brow.
Vannah lifted and dropped a shoulder. “It was an obligatory response. What else was he supposed to say?”
“No, he said he missed you too and he wasn’t going the whole weekend without seeing you.” Xochitl squeezed Vannah’s arm. “I’m sure he meant it too. He’s just a typical man whore and while he certainly wouldn’t mind having some more good time with you, he’s even making it clear he needs to see you again soon, he just wants to make sure it’s clear and you’re okay with not being theonlyone he’s spending time with.”
“Well, I’m not.” Vannah said standing up and walked her cup to the sink. “As much as I’d like to say, I’m the kind of modern girl who can do the fun-and-run thing without getting all hurt, clearly, I’m not. Technically I’veofficiallyknown this guy for all of what? Just over a week and here I’m tearing up over him already. No way.” She started to rinse out her cup and clear up the other dishes in the sink. “No way can I do this. I’m done. I’m just glad he put it out there before I was in too deep.” She turned back to Xochitl who was still sitting at the table drinking her coffee and pouted. “My heart hurts this much already. Can you imagine if I’d slept with him?Thank GodI didn’t.”
They discussed it for just a little longer before she got the call from her sister. “We’re going to 5thStreet tonight. Daddy’s request.”
“What?” Vannah gasped. “What happened to Hearst Castle? I thought we were doing that today?”
“Yeah, but since we’re doing Tamale Lilliana’s for dinner, he figured we’ll be right by there.” Nena sounded a little too excited about this, while Vannah’s head was already spinning trying to come up with a good reason to balk. “It’ll be a nice way to end the evening. We’ll take a stroll of the gym then get some epic tamales for dinner after.” Nena giggled before adding. “Daddy’s being all touristy this weekend. He said he hasn’t been to 5thStreet in years. We’ll pick you up for breakfast in about a half hour, so be ready.”
Once off the phone, Vannah begged Xochitl to help her brainstorm and come up with a way of getting out of going. “I can’t risk seeing him. You saw me already,” Vannah pleaded, alarmed that she was feeling choked up again. “He already felt the need to be this blunt with me, can you imagine if I pathetically tear up on him?”
“No,” Xochitl shook her head holding Vannah’s arms as she looked her straight in the eye. “If you see him it’ll be a good thing. You’ll be armed and surrounded by your family and you’ll be fine. He has plans tonight, remember? Odds are he’ll be nowhere near 5thstreet tonight but even if he is, you’re bound to run into him sooner or later. Better to get your first time having to face him out of the way this way than if you’re alone, right?”
Vannah gulped back her emotion. Her friend had a point. Still, they wouldn’t be at Hearst Castle all day and night. They’d likely finish up midday. There was still the possibility he might hit the gym before his date tonight. The thought of seeing him, especially this soon and on the day when she knew what his plans were that night—because he’d madesureshe did—scared the hell out of her.
“You’ll be fine,” Xochitl smiled then hugged her. “I hate that he turned out to be a jerk, but I still have my doubts about him not being totally into you.”
“Stop,” Vannah pulled away shaking her head. “Last thing I need is to be delusional. He’s made it clear nowwhathe’s into and I just can’t do that.” She wiped at the corner of her eye, hating how weak this made her feel. “I feel stupid now that I actually thought and made him think I could do the just friends thing with anyone, especially someone like him. Lesson learned. No romance for me unless I’m ready for serious. I’m just glad the damage was this minor.”
Even as she made that last comment, she knew it was a major understatement. It was just too embarrassing to admit now how quickly she’d been swept off her feet by this guy. She hugged her friend again before trudging off to change, glad she’d already showered. As much as she dreaded seeing Byron again, Xochitl was right. Her family was nothing if not protective—all of them. The last thing she’d be feeling while surrounded by them today, if she happened to run into him, was vulnerable. She just hated how much one little text could change the circumstances. She’d gone from walking on air all week anddyingto see him again, to dreading coming face to face with those piercing eyes and fighting the now perpetual stupid knot in her throat.
