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Turning back to him, she went head-to-head with his piercing stare for a moment but debated on how much more she should offer. “I’m not a dumb girl, Lex.”
He shook his head immediately. “Never got the idea that you were.”
“I don’t like jerks.” She lifted her chin a bit, deciding to just say it. “And if youmustknow, cutting off all contact with you for as long as I did, was confirmation of that. Despite what I’d begun to feel the night of the wedding, Irefusedto get involved with the type of guy I’d concluded you were. Ilikebeing treated like a princess. I just need the magic. Maybe Cade and I were just too young when we first got together as a couple, and now too far apart.” Their eyes locked for another moment, until she glanced away. “So that’s that. For now, anyway. Like both my mom and brother said, it’s probably for the best. I can already tell this last year of school is going to be brutal. Not just for me but for him as well. Already we hadn’t had much time for a relationship anyway. Why keep forcing something we don’t even have time to try and make work? The night before I left my mom said something that really made sense. If it’s really meant to be for him and me, we’re still young and have our whole lives ahead of us to find out. It’s why I dropped the fear of regretting breaking up, and just did it.” Halfway through that last part of her spiel Lex’s expression had gone a bit hard, but Xochitl refused to make more of it. She had a feeling what he might be thinking.
“I don’t get it.” He leaned against the back of the sofa now crossing his arms in front of him and peered at her. “So, why break up with him, if you anticipate getting back together with him eventually? You just said it yourself, you two were too far apart. Not like he was cutting into your school time, and since you’re so busy, it’s not like he’s cramping your social life.” She’d said enough. As honest as she normally liked to be, there was no way Xochitl was spilling the real reason why she broke things off with Cade. Already Cade had totally called her on it. That’s how well he knew her. He knew this breakup was a direct result of having been around Lex again for justoneday, and while she was sure now even Lex knew it, she didn’t have to admit it to him. Especially not when the first dayadorable little brotherhad been in town, he’d been so quick to startcharmingthe female neighbors into bringing him gifts.
“Because it felt necessary,” she said, standing her ground. “In the last several weeks, I’ve had less and less time to even talk to him, and it’s only gonna get worse once the fall semester starts. I just didn’t think it fair that he not be free to date if he so shall pleases because he’s tied down with a girlfriend he doesn’t ever see or even get to engage with.”
Lex’swaytoo pleased smile had her heart speeding up. “Goes both ways then? You’ll be free to date also, or you know . . . hang out and have some fun with other dudes now too?”
“Well . . .” She straightened out a bit, wishing to God he hadn’t added that last part and ruined it, but her too weak heart was grateful for the reminder. “Like I said, the whole point of me breaking things off with Cade was because I just don’t anticipate having time for a social life this last year of school. Like your sister, I’ll be earning my masters in record time, but that means I’ll have a heavy course load that’ll come withlotsof homework. Which means no time to behanging outor even just having fun with guys.”His unconvinced expression practically challenged her. “So, you’re sayinganykind of relationship thisentireschool year is out of the question for you?”
It almost hurt to do so, because she was sure what he was getting at now, but she nodded. Just the thought of living with him and having to see him day in and day out, already terrified her. Considering doing anything more with him, especially this soon was out of the question. Besides everything she’d just told him was true. Xochitl had too much on her plate this semester to be worrying about a relationship. Particularly any that would for sure be far more intense than hers had ever been with Cade. Even if it was just a flirtation with her roommate, possibly a friends-with-benefits situation. Something she’d always known she could never deal with, even with Cade and she’d always known he wouldn’t go there, had that been the case. Her heart just wasn’t ready to chance feeling what she had the night of the wedding. Despite the fact that it had been unwarranted, the fact remained, and she could admit it now. All it took were a few sweet words from him, a peck to her temple, and a sweet kiss to her hand, for Xochitl to completely fall for him. They weren’t even couple and already seeing him with the laundry machine hog had been nauseating enough. Because he still didn’t look convinced—in the least—she decided to add a little more. “I mean, who can say for sure what the future holds, right? Anything can happen between now and a year from now. All I know is, even my counselor said while this year’s course goals are admirable, she also called them a bit ambitious. Said judging by the previous year’s course goals and my GPA that she didn’t doubt I was up for it, just warned that I better be prepared to not have much of a life outside school, and internships. With all that going on, last thing I need is to add any unnecessary drama to my life.” She shrugged for good measure when his unimpressed brow arched noticeably, before adding the clincher. “But there’s no set deadline for my masters, and I’m well aware I can burnout. If that happens, I’ll end up dropping classes and I might have time for a life then. Like my mom said, if it’s really meant to be maybe Cade and I will end up back together again.”
“Or you can fall in love with someone entirely new.” For someone that hadn’t said a word in a while, Lex was quick with this retort. “You said it yourself.Anythingcan happen, right?” His eyes searched hers in that usual way that rendered her speechless and practically immobile, until mercifully his needing to yawn had him bringing his fist to his mouth. Xochitl took a much-needed deep breath but refused to touch that last comment. “You should go to bed,” she finally said. “You look really tired.”
“I am.” He nodded pushing himself away from the sofa. “Thank God tomorrow’s the last practice of the week. I can finally get home and just chill, not go straight to bed after my shower. I’ll see you then. Goodnight.”
He indulged her with one final smug but still breathtaking smile before he walked away to his room, leaving Xochitl to stew against the counter. The whole way home she’d gone over her little speech and how she’d casually, yetfirmlyget things straight with him about this. Yet somehow it felt like that hadn’t gone her way—at all.
