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I can’t think about this right now. I need to organise my groceries, get home, and then I can have a meltdown. When I’m in town, aroundthesepeople, I’m strong. Josie Mayor doesn’t show cracks. She saves her tears for her pillow.
It’s not until I’m inside the supermarket that I come back to the present. I blink, staring around me. I was so absorbed in my thoughts; I don’t even remember parking the car. I mentally shake myself and pull a trolley from the bay.
I’m halfway through my shop, when Shannon bounds down the aisle. She clutches at my hands and spins me around. One of the oranges that was balancing on top goes flying to the floor.
“Josie, guess what, guess what!” she shrieks and I wince when eyes turn to us.
“Hi Shannon,” I say much less enthusiastically than her. We really don’t know each other well enough to greet like this. “What’s up?”
“Look!”
She waves her hand in my face, so close I stumble back, thinking she might clock me one. I blink at her finger, seeing a diamond ring sparkling under the fluorescent lights.
“Holy shit,” I whisper. “John proposed?”
“Yes!” she squeals.
I thought they must have only recently got together, but I really had no idea. That was just an assumption.
“Wow, Shannon, that’s amazing news!” I gush, pulling her hand closer. “Congratulations!”
“Thanks! Isn’t it gorgeous?”
“Stunning!” I smile. “I’m really happy for you both.”
“Thanks babe!” Her eyes well and for a moment, I think she might cry. Shannon’s tan skin has splotches of reds on her cheeks. Her freckles are so prominent, it looks like she’s drawn them on. “So, we have been talking about this forever, so naturally I already have everything planned!” She tells me, like I should know all of this. I nod along anyway. “For our engagement party, I’m organising for all our friends to take a bus out to the city where we will stay for a night or two and go clubbing! I’ve only been once before and I’d really love to go again! You’ll come, right? Everyone is coming!”
“Sure.” I shrug. “I’ve been dying to have some fun. Count me in.”
“Fantastic!” she smiles. “I’m making an event on Facebook with all the details. Talk soon!”
She’s gone as fast as she appeared, and I feel a little dazed. I pick up the orange and continue shopping. That actually sounds quite fun. It would probably be a big event for these guys, considering there is nothing like that here.
Everyone is coming, she said. I wonder if that includes Harley and Brennon? I have no idea where they fall in the social circuit around here. Shannon seems like the type to be friends with everyone, so they might be on the list, too.
A road trip, with Harley, Nick, my old friends, and all the girls who hate me.
Sounds like a night I won’t forget.
* * *
Shannon’s announcement only distracts me until I’m home. Then I remember Jess seeing everything. It’s not until my jaw aches that I realise I’m grinding my teeth.
Pulling out the new paint and canvas I bought, I block everything out. I turn my music up loud, place the cloth over my floor and start to paint. I don’t have a plan, or even an idea of what I want to paint, but my hand keeps moving, the brush seamlessly gliding across the canvas, like I’ve never stopped.
My stomach growls with hunger, and when I glance at the clock, I’m startled to see hours have passed.
Stepping back, I gaze at the canvas.
The background is a mixture of different shades of grey. It’s the top half of a boy’s head. He’s peering up at the night sky, a cloud of smoke drifting over his face.
Through the smoke, a pair of ocean-blue eyes peer back at me.
