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JOSIE
Four Years Ago
My feet slap on the floor as I sprint down the hallway. My laces are untied, my hair is all over my face, and for a moment I fear I’ve put my shirt on backwards. I screech to a halt and look down, relieved to see it sitting how it’s supposed to.
Iwason time before I slipped under the bleachers with a certain someone, and lost myself in soft hands, and body-tingling kisses. It also didn’t help that I was almost to class before I had to run back and get my textbooks.
With my hair blanketing my eyes, I don’t see someone also entering class at the same time. I hit a hard chest and fly backwards. Warm hands grab my waist, stopping me from falling.
“You all right, Darling?” Harley smirks, his hands still on me.
I step out of his hold and smooth over my hair.
I don’t know how he’s beaten me here. When he strolls in, I realise he isn’t holding textbooks. Nick’s face brightens when he sees me. No hint of suspicion on his innocent face. It makes me feel even worse. He would never, for a moment, consider I was capable of doing what I’ve been doing.
“Hey, I thought you were meeting me this morning before class?” Nick asks and touches my arm gently. His favourite way of greeting. I feel a pang inside me. There’s no passion or romance with Nick. It’s like I’m a family friend. Or worse, his sister.
“I got held up.”
I’ve gotten good at this. Lying. I don’t have to think twice anymore, which is concerning. What’s worse? I’m learning to live with the guilt, which is not okay. I need to make my mind up. Deep down, I know what is right, but it’s making the jump that I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of everything going wrong. This is a small town, I don’t want to hurt anyone, or have anyone hate me.
I can’t concentrate in class, knowing Harley is behind me. Even though he’s in the back row, I swear I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. I’m hyper-aware of every move I make, thinking he might be watching.
When the bell rings overhead, we clamber to our feet and pack our things.
“Hey,” Elise says, bumping my shoulder as she sidles up to me. “What are you going to wear on the weekend?”
It’s Rianna Seeds’ birthday this weekend. I’m not close with her, if anything, I despise her, but the entire class was invited and, in this town, there aren’t too many parties. I can’t be picky.
“I’m not sure. I have a black dress my mum bought me. So probably that,” I answer. I always try my hardest to dress up for parties. I have to, being friends with drop-dead-gorgeous Elise. “You?”
“A champagne-coloured top and a skirt. I’m thinking boots.”
“That’ll look great.”
I spend every afternoon leading up to the party practising my hair and makeup. I want to look perfect. I try straightening my hair, curling it, half-up/half-down styles, braids. I take photos of all of them and decide half-up, half-down, with red lipstick and my mum’s favourite diamond earrings.
Rianna’s house is a large brick home with arched windows, fading wallpaper, and toffee-coloured floorboards. Music booms from the backyard as we approach. The front door rattles as we open it and step inside. The party is located out the back, with the dance floor situated on the patio. Along the side of the pool fence is a long table with punch bowls and nibbles.
I’m not sure if it’s the dress, the lipstick, or perhaps both, but I’m feeling confident. I toss my hair over my shoulders and clasp Elise’s hand, dragging her to the tables. We pour ourselves a generous cup of punch—a mix of Vodka and creaming soda—draining our entire cup while still at the table and refilling immediately.
Harley is off to the side, leaning on the wall, arms folded over his chest, his foot propped. I try not to show that I can tell he’s watching me. I swipe at Elise, pulling her to the dance floor. It’s been a while since we got to have fun and let loose.
I shimmy down her body and drop into a squat. I bounce a few times and slide back up her, so close our noses touch. She laughs, throwing her head back and winding her arms around me. We dance, sing, and laugh until we’re red-faced and our feet hurt.
Nick has been seated on one of the lounges basically the entire time, talking with a group of socially awkward kids who don’t mingle much. I tried to get him to dance, but he waved me off, a little impatiently, which pissed me off. Huffing, I storm inside to use the bathroom, when I lock eyes with the one boy I’ve been dying to see.
Harley slips up the stairs and disappears. I peer around to see if anyone noticed, to find myself alone with only a couple making out in the kitchen. I’m quiet as I mount the stairs and follow Harley into one of the upstairs bedrooms.
My eyes flit around the room, trying to find him, when I’m pushed against the door. Like every time we look at each other, I’m sucked into those gorgeous eyes.
His mouth is over mine, and I melt into him. He lifts me and we fall into the bed.
“You look stunning,” he compliments. “I can’t take my eyes off you.”
“I noticed.” I grin.
“I need to have you, Josie,” he whispers. “I need all of you.”
