AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m not in the mood for riddles,” I whispered, my voice hoarse with emotions I didn’t know how to express. “Why are you here, Gabriel? To torture me? Do you have some sadistic side that wanted to see my reaction? Do you get off on making girls cry?”
“I don’t want to make you cry.” He lowered his head until his lips were against my forehead. “That’s why I’m here. I changed my mind. I couldn’t stay away.”
I couldn’t resist him. With my back against the wall and his solid muscled chest in front of me, I had to touch him. I ran my hand over his leather jacket, up the breadth of his chest, empowered by the erotic groan that escaped him.
“This week has been pure hell. I had to see you to remember...”
“Remember what?”
He raised his head slightly. “That there’s still some untainted beauty left in this world.”
“Gabriel, what happened to you this week?” My voice shook as I asked him.
He ignored my question. “I wasn’t going to see you again. I thought it wasn’t fair...that you deserve better.”
“Better than what?”
“Better than me. I don’t think I could ever be the kind of man you deserve. I...work long, crazy hours. Completely unreliable. That’s why I didn’t call you earlier. By the end of the week, I realized I wasn’t being fair. I couldn’t repeat this pattern every week, not knowing when I’d be available or for how long.
“I wanted to see you. I woke up every morning thinking about you. So much if fucking hurt. But I have commitments to people. Nothing’s going to ever change that.”
“I’m not trying to change that. Gabriel, I’m not asking for a heavy commitment or anything like that. We met last week, and we’ve been on two dates. And I want to see you again. I don’t need a predetermined schedule. You have priorities and responsibilities - I get that. I’d be willing to work around your schedule. But if you’re not, I guess I have to respect that.”
“You should slam the door in my face and tell me to fuck off.”
“And you should stop telling me how to act. I’ll be brutally honest if that’s what you want.”
His eyes narrowed. “I can take it.”
“Fine.” I sucked in a breath, ready to reveal my truths prematurely. He’d either understand and we’d move forward, or I’d scare the hell out of him, and he’d walk out that door before I was even finished.
“I woke up every day thinking about you, too. But it was worse than that. I thought about you all day, every day. I waited for you to call like a lovesick teenager. That’s never happened to me before. When you never called, I prepared myself, but I wasn’t shocked.”
Our eyes locked for a moment before I had to look away. I could say the words, but I was too cowardly to look him in the eye when I said them.
“You are the most amazing man I’ve ever dated. Even after just two dates, I thought...I thought we could have something, you know? I thought we connected. Not just hoped it, or wanted it, but I reallyfeltit. It actually hurts to think you didn’t feel it, too. Hurts and makes me feel like a fool.” My voice broke at the end. I was too tired to try to hold back my emotions anymore. Tears started welling up and I fought to hold them back. I knew I’d lose the battle, but I tried and succeeded for a few seconds.
Until Gabriel wrapped his arms around me and held me against his chest.
I wanted to scream. I couldn’t relax in his arms. If this was how he said goodbye, he was a master of sending mixed signals.
His heart beat wildly, but he showed no signs of letting go. Despite not understanding what he wanted from me, I still felt comfortable surrounded by his warmth and his citrusy, woodsy scent. Slowly, my body started to soften against his, convinced by his sure fast hold that my acquiescence would be welcome. The more I relaxed, the tighter he held me.
I wasn’t sure who was supporting who. I needed his warmth and his security, even though I expected him to ruin it all over again.
But I had something he needed, too. I wasn’t sure what it was. I hadn’t finished unraveling his chaotic explanation of his abrupt appearance but the way he held me, so close to his chest I could hear his heartbeat as it began to slow as he gained a moment of respite from what hell he’d been through that week.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured against the top of my head. “I really fucked up, pardon my language.”
I smiled against his chest and snuggled my cheek against the supple leather of his black jacket. “It’s okay...I think.” But was it? “I’m still not sure what’s going on.” I tilted my head to look up into his red streaked eyes. “But it’s late,” I whispered again. “Why don’t we talk about this in the morning?”
He didn’t say anything, but he nodded.
I may not have wanted to have the conversation right then, but Gabriel didn’t look like he was in any condition to drive back home.
I looked at the full-sized bed that took up the back wall of my studio. It was separated from the kitchen by built-in shelves that doubled as shelving for the kitchen on one side and a bookshelf on the bedroom side.
“If you’d like, you can sleep here. You’re tired and I’d feel awful if something happened to you on the way home.”
