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As soon as she closed the door behind him, he reached for her and pulled her into an embrace, sighing against her hair. He tilted his head to kiss her cheek, and she quickly moved her lips to his, kissing her softly. But the longer their lips lingered, the deeper the kiss became, and he finally pulled away. He gazed down at her, his eyes a luscious, rich brown.
“I've been waiting all week for that kiss,” she said.
He smiled fully, showing off his dimples. “Me too.” He released her and glanced around the room. “This looks great.”
“Thanks.”
She’d mentioned during one of their telephone conversations this week that she had lots of pictures to show him from South Carolina, and he suggested they look at them before going to the beach. She retrieved them, and they sat side by side on the couch, flipping through them as she gave a brief narration of each.
“What a beautiful place,” he finally said.
She noted his serious expression. “But...”
He shrugged. “Some of the pictures of you… I can tell you’re unhappy. You’re smiling, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. And I know that’s because of me.”
“But Iwashappy. I was thrilled to be there, I was having fun and working hard... But yes, I was hurting too.” She paused. “Something changed after your visit. I felt lighter, almost like I was seeing things a little clearer. That's when I began to realize that we weren't finished yet. I couldn't leave things the way they were.”
“I knew it too. When I asked if our night together was because you were giving me another chance—or saying goodbye—you couldn't answer me, and it gave me hope. It was the hardest thing not to call you, to just leave you alone after that.”
She looked away from him and shook her head, and wondered when she would stop feeling the swell of bitterness that rose whenever she thought of him leaving her. It had lessened, but it was still there.
“What is it?” he asked. “Come on, we agreed to be open with each other.”
She sighed. “It just makes me think of us being apart, when you say things like that. It was difficult for you to leave me alone after you left South Carolina, yet it was easy to leave me alone after you left me in the hospital.”
His brows furrowed. “That's not true. Even though I was angry, staying away from you was never easy.”
She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Sometimes I wonder if things would have been different... What if I hadn't listened to you when everything first happened? What if I’d just gone to Boston to see you andmadeyou talk to me?”
He shook his head. “I wouldn't have seen you, and if I had, I would have made things worse. My emotions were too raw; I would have said things that would have damaged us, damagedyou. Permanently.” He paused. “I ran away, Elizabeth. That's what I did—I ran away.”
“I know that, and I think I even knew it then. You gave up on me, but…part of me feels like I gave up on you too. I didn’t fight for us, because I was afraid of being rejected again.”
“You had every reason to be afraid of that. I didn't give you any reason to expect anythingbutrejection.”
“But you came back from California when all that stuff was happening with Caroline and Anne... You came to me and made me talk to you. I can't help but feel that if I’d done that, I could have saved us a lot of misery.”
“No, sweetheart. I would have caused so muchmoremisery. Please don't beat yourself up about this. You have no responsibility in how things played out. It was all me. I wouldn't have given you the opportunity to explain. I would have pushed you away even harder.”
They were quiet for a while, each mulling things over, until she turned and snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
He kissed her hair. “Can I ask you something?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“What was it like, working with Jason?”
She sighed, unsurprised by the question. “It was okay. I made the best of it. I was determined not to let it ruin my trip. You were foremost on my mind anyway; I didn't put a lot of thought into him.”
“You didn't know he was going to be there?”
“No. I wish Ihadknown, so I could have prepared for it. I was shocked when I first saw him, and then I was angry, because I was convinced he’d arranged for me to be there, but it was Bill. He’s the one who put my name in.” She paused. “It’s funny… For so long, I’d wanted an explanation from Jason, but at some point, that changed. It wasn't about me needing tohearthings from him, it was about me needing tosaythings to him. And I did. It felt good to finally speak my mind.”
“I’m sorry he was there, but I'm glad you were able to go about your work without feeling stressed out about him.”
“I was stressed out enough about you,” she said, a hint of teasing in her voice.
“Lizzy…”
