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She thought back to the conversation they’d had on the phone when he was in California, interviewing architects. “You told me at one point that you were nervous about FRD failing. Is that all tied to this?”
“Of course it is. When you suggested that name I was thrilled, because it would release my father from having to bear the scars of a failed business venture.”
“But your father wouldn't bear those scars. He's gone.”
“But hisnameisn’t gone. RJD—Robert James Darcy—is alive and well.”
“This conversation is moot, because it won’t fail. You're too meticulous about these things; you've put too much time into it. It's going to be unbelievably successful.”
He smiled and kissed her. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, because believe it or not, it's one thing I don't have a lot of right now.”
Her eyebrows rose. “You? Lacking confidence? What happened to my 'arrogant versus confident' man?”
He chuckled. “When we had that conversation over dinner, my stomach was in my throat. I felt alittleconfident, but I was winging it one hundred percent. I was trying to come off like Mr. Suave, when really, I had no idea what I was doing, because I had never found myself in that situation before.”
“At dinner with a woman?” she teased.
“At dinner with a woman who I wanted tokeephaving dinners with. And more.” He paused for a moment. “I told you before how my father was taken advantage of, and that he used to tell me to keep most people at arm’s length. That stuck with me. Itembeddedinto my brain. I avoided letting anyone into my inner circle. I didn't want to set myself up to be used.” He kissed her softly. “You blew all of that out of the water.”
“How romantic.”
He chuckled. “You know what I mean. But despite all that,” he said, turning serious again, “looking back on it now, I think I was waiting for something bad to happen. I don't think I believed in myself enough to think that you would want me for me, because I’d been told too often that peoplewouldn'twant me for me. They'd want something else, something I had.”
Her eyes shifted away from his, and he grasped her chin.
“Don't look away from me,” he said quietly. “It wasn't because ofyou, love. It was all me. When I found those pictures in your house… Even though I loved you deeply, and even though you’dnevergiven me a reason not to trust you, my mind went straight to betrayal. Thisonethinghappened, and I just heaped all the blame on you. Instead of seeking answers, I catastrophized. I went straight to the worst-case scenario. I felt like I’d failed, like I needed to apologize to my father for letting you get to me, for letting my guard down. His voice went front and center, and I couldn’t shut it out, I couldn’t shake it. I felt like he was looking down on me with disappointment and shame, calling me a fool.”
“You have to let his voice go,” she urged him softly.
He nodded and enfolded her hands in his. “I know, but it's easier said than done. It will take time for it to go away. But at least I recognize, now, how it affects me. I'm just sorry that it affectedus. I'll never forgive myself for running out on you like I did.”
She reached up to stroke his cheek. “You came back.”
He sighed. “Youletme come back. If you hadn't—”
“But I did.”
She looked him in the eyes, desirous of making him see that she was right where she wanted to be. She kissed him, expressing her love and commitment to him in that warm connection.
He pressed his forehead to hers, his thumbs stroking over her cheeks, and his voice was so soft, she almost didn't hear it.
“Thank you.”
