Page 88 of Dance the Tide


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“I know,” she said. “I don’t feel that way anymore. What happened was for the best. Jane, Denny, and Jason were the only people who knew I was pregnant. I never told anyone else, not even my aunt. There didn't seem to be much reason at that point.”

She sniffled and swiped at her eyes. “I wondered what I’d done to make him leave, and for so long, I thought it was because of that stupid conversation we’d had, because I’d been unhappy about his schedule and decided to speak up. It made me afraid to stand up for myself. I’ve avoided confrontation ever since.” She paused. “He decimated my self-worth and made me believe there was something wrong withme, that I wasn't enough for him. For anyone. I completely shut down. It took a long time, but I realized itwasn'tme. It was him.” She sniffled again. “I haven’t dated much since then. I'm so afraid of letting go andtrusting,and with everything going on over the past few days…all those feelings of insecurity and doubt came rushing back.”

“No wonder you didn't want to talk to me.”

“Not until I saw you walking toward me on the beach… I knew then it would be okay.”

He held her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “I can't believe you went through that. I can’t believe someone would do that to you. To anyone.”

“I don't think about it anymore. I can't. It doesn't do any good, and it's a part of my past I want to forget.” Her eyes searched his face, traveling over the features she’d come to adore. “Why is it difficult for you to let your guard down? Because I feel like you did that with me almost right away.”

He sighed. “Like I said, it’s different. You’ve been hurt in the worst way, and it makes it hard for you to feel safe. I haven’t been hurt like that, but I’ve been taken advantage of by people who’ve claimed to be friends, people who claimed to care about me but only cared about what I have and what I could give them. But eventually you catch on, and you learn to look for the red flags. When someone repeatedly wants things and asks things of you, and doesn’t give you much in return…” He shrugged. “It’s made me cautious.”

“I’m sorry.”

He lightly stroked her cheek. “My father dealt with it years ago with someone he trusted at RJD, someone he relied on, and financially, the company suffered a huge loss. I was young, and don’t recall much of what was happening at the time, but as I grew older, he talked to me about it. He was fooled by someone he thought of as a loyal friend, and suspicion and distrust sort of became his default. He kept a close group of friends and advisors, and he had my mother and me and Georgie, and that was it. He impressed upon me that people couldn’t be trusted, and warned me about having too much of my mother’s heart. She was a softy, and wanted to saveeveryone.” He paused. “I guess that’s why my circle is so small. Charles, Richard, you, Georgie…there are people at RJD who I trust, but other than that, I’m not willing to take risks.” He smiled softly. “Well, I wasn’t, until I met you. For the first time, I let my instincts guide me. And I won’t lie, it’s scary as hell. But I’m glad I did.”

More tears spilled from her eyes as he spoke, and he wiped them away. She felt so much better for confiding in him, and grateful that he’d trusted her enough to confide in her. They’d reached a new level of understanding, and she lifted his hand to her lips, kissing it softly before entwining their fingers.

“Everything about being with you feels right. I feel safe,” she whispered. “I want to move forward with you. I want to be a part of your life.”

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