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“I know you’re just a physical therapist. Don’t take that the wrong way. I could never do what you do. But you’re not a psychologist and you’re not a wizard. You can’t magically fix Fynn’s issues and you don’t know how to start helping him work through what happened when he was just a boy. But I guess I’m asking you to try, or at the very least, to understand why he is the way he is.”
“I’m just doing a job,” I whisper, but it’s like I’m convincing myself.
Elise turns to me. The smile is gone. The sparkle in her eyes is gone. It’s like her face is a mask, and it’s horrible.
“Fynn wouldn’t have brought you here if he didn’t think highly of you. Whether or not you two are fucking is none of my business, but he respects you, even if he doesn’t always show it. He’s right on the edge, teetering from side to side, and I want you to push him in the right direction. One wrong step and I’m terrified he’ll go to a dark place. I know these boys aren’t my blood and I was never their mother or even their stepmother, but they’re like my siblings, they’re the only real family I have. I love them, and I want what’s best for them. So please, if you can help Fynn, help him.” She comes close and takes my hands in hers. “Will you do that?”
I nod slowly, blinking back tears. I’m crying for Fynn and for everything his psychopath father took away. These men will never have a childhood, never know what a healthy, loving parent can be like. They’ll always be hurting, always be in pain. It breaks my heart, and I want to do what I can.
“I’ll try,” I say quietly.
“That’s all I can ask.” Her smile comes back and her face animates again, lighting up with an inner glow. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. This place is creepy as hell.” She flips off the light and we hurry away, her arm through mine. “Let’s stop for a bottle, shall we?” She picks out something old and dusty, grinning. “This thing costs a fortune and I bet it’s terrible. Shall we open it tonight out by the pool? Right at twilight, when the sun’s going down.”
“Consider it a date. I have another session with Fynn first.”
“Go easy on the boy. Or I guess I should say, try not to let him go too hard on you.” She laughs, back to her old self.
But that room’s like a void in my mind. It’s back there, haunting me, and everything that happened inside of it is like a story I can’t untell. The ramifications continue to ripple out and out, and I feel as though I understand Fynn a little bit better.
If that was Elise’s goal then it worked.
Chapter 14
Mirella
Fynn is in a sour mood and any tender feelings I might’ve formed in the hours between lunch and work quickly evaporate.
“Why are you limping more than usual?” I ask as we go through simple mobility training, focusing on walking mechanics. “You’re acting like you jogged a few miles or something.”
He grimaces and glares at me. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. Did you do something stupid? I told you to rest between sessions.”
“I already said I’m fine.” He stumbles as he takes a deep lunge forward and has to catch himself on the chest press machine.
“Fynn.” I help him up, but he shrugs me off. The anger in his eyes is difficult to handle, and I try to think of that room down beneath the earth, haunting me. What happened in there still infesting him like a rot. He hates getting my help, but sometimes he needs it whether he wants it or not. I can’t just let him struggle without doing something about it.
He grips the edge of the weight machine to his left and stares at me. “Stop pushing. Know when it’s time to back down.” His words are knives in my guts.
I glare back, but let it go. There’s not much I can do when he gives me that look and talks in that tone. Over the last week or two, I’ve learned his moods like reading tea leaves and I’ve figured out when it’s time to back off and let him deal with whatever he’s processing on his own.
These men are under tremendous stress. I have to keep reminding myself that these aren’t normal humans—their entire lives happen under the shadow of imminent bodily harm. Fynn knows this better than most and he’s dealing with the fallout of their existence already. Each step, each stumble, every bit of pain, it’s all a reminder of the life he was born into and the way that life has shaped him.
After forty minutes of intense work, we end on the mat sitting side by side. He does some gentle stretches and I don’t push him. Whatever happened, he’s in a lot more pain than usual and I won’t risk undoing all the progress we’ve made, especially with that stupid business alliance meeting coming up fast.
