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Now he was starting to understand. “You know what that is like,” he said. “You never said much before, but my guess is you knew no one when you moved here?”
“No,” she said. “I just needed to start over and this place ended up being it. I guess it brought back some things.” She stood up and started to walk out of the room. “I need some water.”
He followed her to the kitchen and let her take her time. When she was done taking a sip, he said, “Are you thinking about your family? Your mother or grandparents?”
“Yes. But I would have never been here if my mother didn’t commit suicide. She made that choice over me.”
She never talked about her mother. He had no idea if she had a mental illness, if she was sick, if she was doing drugs. He’d never asked. “Why did she?”
There was a hesitation when Vivian answered, “She wasn’t sick or depressed. Not like you might think. There were things going on in her life that she decided she didn’t want to live without. I wasn’t one of those things that was enough to keep her here.”
He hated that there seemed to be secrets but told himself that this was a delicate subject and she’d talk when she wanted to.
He also had Rob and Maureen in his head telling him to not look into someone behind their back.
“But your grandparents were there for you,” he said.
“They were. And I miss them. I think, more than anything, that is what this is about. That I’m truly alone in life and it’s hard to accept once in a while.”
He pulled her into his arms. “You aren’t alone. You’ve got me.”
She put her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for that. I know you didn’t sign up for drama and I’m sorry I’m having a bad day.”
He laughed. “That’s a silly statement. If anyone has drama it’s me. Caveman trying to deal with the death of his sister and best friend.”
“But you are handling it so well. You hardly ever talk about them.”
He wondered if now was the time to say it was because he still talkedtothem. Or had been recently with Rob.
“Remember how I told you that my mother talks to my sister? Or she says my sister talks to her in dreams?”
“Yes,” she said. “Do you talk to your sister?”
“Would you think I was crazy if I said yes?”
“No. I told you before I’d find it sweet.”
“Then I’m a big old cinnamon bun with tons of frosting because I’ve been talking to Maureen in dreams for years.”
She smiled. “I think I’m kind of jealous over that. Does your mother know you do that too?”
“Don’t be jealous. Sometimes it’s like she never left. I can’t explain it. I don’t know if it’s all in my head or it’s real. I try not to analyze it too much.”
“Which is funny considering you analyze things for a living.”
“You make a good point. And no, my mother doesn’t know. I think if she did, she’d be nosier with my life.”
“So, what about Rob?” she asked. “Do you talk to him?”
“Funny thing. I hadn’t until I met you.”
“Really?” she asked. “Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know. Maybe some of it was to tell me not to blow this,” he said. It was about as honest as he was going to be.
“Good advice,” she said. “I wish I had someone to remind me of that too.”
“I don’t think you could blow it,” he said, grinning. The smile she barely had fell from her face and he was more curious than ever.
