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~Charlotte~
SLEEP WON’T COME.
With a disgruntled sigh, I sit up in bed and shove my hand through my hair.
Cal stirs at my movements and reaches out, rubbing my arm. “All right, kitten?” he murmurs in his sleepy voice, the one that signifies that he’s more asleep than awake. He’s beyond exhausted, really needing his rest. It hasn’t been that noticeable over the last few weeks, but there are times like this where his fifty-seven-years versus my forty-five-years is a noticeable age gap. Where I’m weary, he’s absolutely shattered, not just desiring rest, but actually needing it desperately.
“I’m fine, sweets,” I assure him, stroking his hand on my arm.
“Sure?”
“I am. Go back to sleep now.”
He murmurs his agreement, then drops his hand from my arm and relaxes.
Of course, he’ll never admit to being even slightly weary, not under any circumstances. That just means that it needs to be my responsibility to cut him off when he’s going too far beyond what his body is capable of these days. I’m fine with doing that and I can do it very diplomatically without him even realizing what I’m doing, because I know him inside and out.
It’s not as surprising as it should be that it still holds true despite nineteen years apart. After all, we met when he was in his thirties and was already well settled into his life as President of Black Thorns Motorcycle Club. He was already set in his ways, the man that he was had been established years before. And, as for me, I was always an old soul and I remained in the same line of work and around the same types of people all my life, so the only thing that’s changed about me is that I’m a little more jaded and scarred. We both are.
I smile down at him, waiting until he’s settled down again and fully asleep, his breathing heavy and deep, his body absolutely relaxed, and then I ease the covers aside and stealthily climb out of bed.
I cross to the door and grab the white terrycloth robe off the hook on the back that Roxana lent me our first night here a couple of days ago. I slip it on and tie the belt securely. Normally, I’d be fine walking around in a pair of lounge pants and a strappy tank. But my stay here hasn’t exactly been welcome, so it has me more than a little tense and guarded. It’s one of the reasons I’m finding it difficult to sleep. The other being the currently unresolved fragile situation we’re all caught up in. I don’t do well with having things up in the air, with them being unfinished.
I stifle another heavy sigh so as not to wake up Cal.
And then I leave the bedroom and make my way beyond the master bedroom next door where Roxana and Ax are sleeping. Ava’s nursery is to my right. I head down the stairs to the first floor, and make my way to the kitchen, intending to grab a glass of water, then head out onto the patio for some fresh air. Maybe that combined with the picturesque view and the calming atmosphere of the forest flanking the house will help to quiet my mind enough to allow me to sleep.
When we first arrived here, I was more than a little surprised to see how homely their house is. Cozy, is actually the optimal word to describe the Barron family home on the outskirts of Reirdon Falls.
Cal told me that it was a bungalow when they first bought it, but with Reirdon Construction’s efforts, they added a second story a little while back. It’s apparently come in handy with the number of guests that frequent their home.
Its gray walls and floors, along with the sleek chrome appliances give off a crisp, modern look. But there are splashes of color here and there, like the powder-blue couch and matching chairs in the living room and the many embroidered cushions offering up a much more cozy feel to the space. The same is true of the dining room. The table is plain and black, but the cushioned chairs are a vibrant red, as is the table cloth. There are accent rugs throughout the house, brightening up the space and providing personality and color. And then there are the photos. They’re pretty much everywhere you turn. Of Roxana and Ax themselves, their daughter, Cal, and so many featuring the club members too.
Both Ax and Roxana are both hard-edged, severe people on the surface, but upon observing them further within the sanctuary of their home, it became clear to me that it reflects what they keep from outsiders—their soft, loving sides that are on lockdown when they’re out and about, beyond the family home.
It seems that Ax is warring with those two sides of himself at the moment.
He’s not relaxed, not open, not even the least bit friendly all the while I’m around. He’ll be joking around and flirting with his wife, doting on his daughter, but as soon as he’s aware that I’m close, he’ll clam up and completely shut down, switching to badass club president mode. It’s caused a load of tension between him and Cal.
It’s the last thing either of them needs with everything going on.
I don’t want to be responsible for such a fracture in their relationship. I’m aware of how long it took them to build it after all the obstacles that came their way years ago. I certainly don’t want my presence to negate all of that. Besides, for Cal and I to make it this time, that animosity needs to be diffused. Ignoring it for the last while hasn’t worked. In fact, it just seems to be worsening. So, it looks like I’m going to have to do what I hate most and get in touch with my emotions.
I catch sight of the clock that’s in the shape of a Harley on the living room wall, and I wince as I see it’s pushing three in the morning. It’s going to make it more than a little trying waking up at six for my run.
I turn the corner into the kitchen and pull up short the moment I see that it’s not empty.
Ax is slumped over the breakfast bar, nursing a glass of whiskey, a half-empty bottle right beside it. He’s wincing, one hand clutching his chest, right over his heart.
He looks up as he senses me and grimaces. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s me walking in, or if he just didn’t want to be disturbed.
One way to find out.
I walk in, telling him, “I’m just going to grab a glass of water, then I’m heading out to the patio.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t gotta do that. It’s cold outside and you ain’t exactly dressed for it. Get your water and have a seat.”
“Okay,” I respond, more than a little surprised.
