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This probably isn’t the best idea I’ve ever had because I’m not sure if the doctor has me on any medications or not, but I just need something to calm the storm raging inside me and dull the pain. Dad only has whiskey in his liquor cabinet, but I guess it’ll have to do.
I grab a bottle and open it before taking a swig directly from it. The whiskey burns on its way down my throat, but I can’t bring myself to care. I keep drinking.
I need to drown out everything, including the demons in my head. I move around the huge oak desk and slide down to the floor. The moment I’m down on my ass, I brace my back against the desk and keep drinking.
About fifteen minutes pass with me sitting there alone in the dark, drinking, and I’m already pretty hammered. I lift the bottle up in the air to see how much I’ve consumed and am surprised to see that a quarter of it is already gone.
Wow, no wonder I’m super drunk already. Thinking it’s time to go back to bed now, I stand on wobbly legs. I make it about two steps before I trip over one of the chairs in the room and go crashing face-first down onto the floor.
Pain explodes in my stomach from the impact of hitting the floor. I let out a groan as I roll over onto my back and just lie there. Fuck, this shit hurts!
I place a hand on my stomach like that’s going to help ease the pain. I look up at the ceiling and stare at the darkness for a while, because I don’t have the energy to move. I grab the whiskey bottle and see that it’s empty because of the fall. For some reason, this is the thing that makes me lose it completely and I fling the bottle in the air. It lands on the desk and shatters on impact.
“I fucking hate you for leaving me to deal with all this shit!” I scream into the empty room as tears stream down my face. Wherever my father is, I hope he can hear the pain in my voice. This shit is destroying me piece by piece.
I need an outlet for all this pain overwhelming me right now. I manage to stand up again and then I start tearing apart the room. I start with the computer on the desk, then all the photographs and anything else I can find to throw against the wall. Nothing helps dull the pain and anger I’m feeling. If anything, it just intensifies.
“Everywhere I turn, someone is trying to hurt me,” I whisper brokenly into the room, still on my warpath of destroying it. I’m so consumed with what I’m doing, I don’t even hear the rush of footsteps running down the hall or someone flinging open the door. The red haze blanketing me is all I can focus on right now.
A pair of strong arms wrap around my body, preventing me from doing any more damage and keeping them in place. The moment I inhale his scent, a switch flips inside my head and I go wild in his arms, trying to buck him off and get him to let go of me.
“Get off of me!” I scream at him, but of course he doesn’t listen.
“Calm the fuck down! What the hell is the matter with you?” he snaps at me in his cold voice again and I know we’re back to hating each other.
“I fucking hate you! That’s what’s the matter with me!” I yell.
“Shut the fuck up and relax! You have stitches in your stomach, and you don’t want to rip them,” he yells right back at me. I manage to turn in his arms and now I’m face-to-face with him. I see the stormy expression in his dark green eyes and that hurts more because it’s his look of hate.
“I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!” I scream at him while beating his chest. He doesn’t even look like this is affecting him, and it just makes me yell and scream at him more. He sniffs the air and then growls at me.
“Are you seriously fucking drunk right now? Do you not care about your fucking health and wellbeing?” he asks in such a condescending tone that it pisses me right off again. He looks so calm right now, like nothing is affecting him, while I feel so untethered, like I’m losing my mind.
I manage to rip myself out of his arms and I stumble back into the desk behind me. I straighten myself and when I look up, I realize we’re not alone. Royce, Nate, Beck, Gray and my three best friends are all here watching me break down. I guess this has been a long time coming.
Riley is barely holding back sobs while Luna and Avery both have tears running down their faces. I know this isn’t the best sight to wake up to—seeing your best friend finally lose it.
I look over at Mason who has his jaw clenched. He looks like he’s barely managing to keep his anger at bay and like he wouldn’t mind killing me right now. I stumble, wanting to get away from them all.
Mason moves but I hold my hand up to stop him. At this moment, I give him what he wants in the hope that this will be over once and for all. Even though I know I didn’t betray him, I give him the words that will finally make me more of a villain in his eyes. That’s what he’s wanted all along—for me to tell him I cheated on him and that’s the reason he’s been hurting me all along, isn’t it?
I’m so tired of trying to hold it together constantly and fighting against him, so it’s better to end it once and for all, even though I know it’s going to hurt.
“I’m sorry for cheating on you, okay? I never meant to hurt you. So, can you please get over it? Can you and the guys stop trying to kill me every chance you get?” I rasp out in a hoarse voice. It’s fucking killing me to spit those lies out.
I look over at the guys and they’re all looking at me with their mouths dropped, along with surprise on their faces. Yeah, I guess they didn’t expect those words out of my mouth, but I had to say them if I want all of this to end. My best friends are looking at me the same way too, and I don’t blame them.
I hate lying, but this shitshow between us has to end now before it gets worse. What else could I have done? I was thinking that admitting to what he wanted me to for so long would finally get him to stop hurting me, but why the fuck did I think that Mason King would ever do what I expect him to do? Instead of just doing nothing like I was hoping, he lashes out, giving me the brunt of his anger.
“Took you fucking long enough to admit it! You really are a fucking whore!” he snaps in anger, clenching his fists like he wants to hit something. I’d be lying if I said that his words didn’t cut deep, even in my drunken state. He turns to the girls. “And you guys were saying what earlier? What the fuck did I tell you all?” he yells out.
“Mason, come on, she’s obviously drunk. She doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Riley says but his attention isn’t on her. Nope, it’s trained right at me with fire burning inside those greens. Super pissed would be an understatement.
“A drunk mind always speaks sober thoughts. Isn’t that the saying?” he sneers. Without warning, he grabs me by the arms and yanks me roughly, closer to him. “You and I are going to go have a talk!” he says in a deadly tone before dragging me out of the room.
“Mason, you’re hurting my arm!” I tell him while sobbing but he just keeps dragging me with him, not caring about my distress.
“Mase! Leave her the fuck alone!” Riley yells after him, grabbing me, but his grip on me is like steel bands around my arm and he yanks me to him before we continue upstairs.
