AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Rising up, he spread out his arms and shouted, “The Lupul will be our next son.”
His wife, other family members, and his soldiers turned in his direction after pretending they hadn’t been paying attention to every twitch of our faces for the last twenty minutes. Not for the first time, I noticed that Cat wasn’t there. She was never around, off to boarding school, far from her family. I was glad I didn’t have to pretend to care for her gentle sensibilities when my heart was cracking inside my chest.
Nicu rushed to my side, hissing near my ear, “What the hell did you do? We could’ve figured something out.”
Yeah, right.
“No, we couldn’t have,” I pushed back. “He had me by the balls.” It was all I could say in public. Every person in his family was approaching me to congratulate me on my nuptials and give me a kiss on both cheeks. I wanted to rage and thrash on the ground. I wanted to beat my chest, tear my hair out, and bellow in agony until the walls came crashing down around me.
Instead, I had to grit my teeth in the semblance of a smile as Popescus rejoiced around me. My neck muscles bunched together as someone patted me on the shoulder. Pain swelled in my throat to the point that I couldn’t even swallow. I should’ve known better than to foolishly hope Nina and I had a chance. We were doomed from the very start. My life was never my own. My choices were never my own. Even if Stegan hadn’t fucked up, the pressure to marry an appropriate bride would’ve eventually toppled us. There was no escape. And now? Now, I was a dead man walking. Shackled and bound, I was a slave to the demands of my clan.
Recognizing I was about to crack, Nicu took me by the arm, elbowed his way through the throng of joyful Popescus and spirited me out the door. Once in the hallway, he made a low whistling sound. Stegan came out of the woodwork, took one look at me, and braced my other arm. I was having trouble pulling enough air into my lungs.
Bypassing the elevator, Nicu turned us toward the stairway and threw the door open. It bounced against the wall and hit his shoulder as he hustled me down a few flights of stairs and into the parking lot. Rain slashed down on us, drenching us in a cold shower, as Stegan ran up ahead and clicked open the black Mercedes SUV.
Nicu tossed me in and slipped in beside me as Stegan started up the car.
“My car—”
“We’ll get it later,” Nicu cut me off, checking all sides for a possible ambush.
The instant we were in, Stegan gunned the accelerator and we were off, tires skidding with a squeal.
“What the fuck, Alex? What have you done?” Nicu heaved out, disbelief in his eyes.
Stegan remained silent, but from the tightness of his jaw, he was angry as well.
“I had no choice. It was either Stegan or me, and he made it clear they’d torture him to death.”
“What about Nina?”
“Dammit, Nicu. You know as well as I do that if I gave Stegan over, which I would never do, on principal”—I glanced at Stegan, but his jaw was as tight as ever—“that Nina would never be accepted by the clan. Not by the men or women. They’d see it as a sacrifice of a good man, a good soldier, in exchange for an outsider. Some might see it as a weakness and challenge me, not that I give a shit. I have no issues with fighting to keep my place, but I’d never be able to live down their judgment that I put my desires above the needs of the family. And that would ultimately put Nina’s life in danger.”
“I’d rather you gave me over,” brooded Stegan. “I knew the moment I touched that bastard that my life was forfeit. I prepared myself.”
“Then you’re lucky you’re not the one with the decision-making power here,” I huffed out, passing a hand over my forehead. The feeling of loss was like a chasm in my heart, gaping wider and wider. “I’d thought you’d at least be happy about it.”
“Not if you have to martyr yourself in the process,” he replied vehemently. “I gave my life over to you—”
“You did, and I decided to keep you alive to continue to serve me,” I cut him off.
“My job is to protect you,” he insisted.
“Well, you can’t do your job if you’re not alive, now, can you?” I snapped. “What the hell, Stegan? I expected a little gratitude, not back talk.”
He clamped his mouth shut, grinding down on his back molars so hard the sound could be heard from the back seat.
“He feels guilty. He never meant for you to suffer in his place,” Nicu murmured.
“Either way, I was a fool to think it could work out between Nina and me. It was inevitable that my duty to this family would get in the way.” Turning to my friend, I tried to alleviate his guilt. “It was doomed from the start, Stegan. You may have been the vehicle, but if it weren’t you, it’d be someone or something else. It was a mistake to believe I could have more than was my due.”
“Stop with this old-world doom-and-gloom bullshit,” insisted Nicu. “The old ‘don’t expect too much or else you’ll be taught a lesson.’ We’re in fucking America now. We get to dream big. That’s why our parents suffered like they did to bring us here. Ripped away from their country, their culture, their language. At least, the upside should be that we get to have more than they did.”
“We do have more,” I argued. “We have enough food on our table. We have financial security. We’re safe. But if you aim too high, you’ll get your wings clipped, like Icarus. Nina was me flying too close to the sun. Now I’m crashing back down to earth.”
Turning toward the window, I watched the rain pummel the deserted streets as we drove back into Manhattan. The hole inside me, the one only Nina could fill, was a gaping abyss of emptiness. I stared as the rain lashed against the panes, leaving rivulets of water behind. The world lacked color. Everything was subdued. Dark. The only sound I heard was the loud exhalations of my breath and the splashing of the car through puddles. My heart pounded against my ribs; the aching void spread like ice over my chest. I’d failed her. I’d failed us. How was I going to face Nina and tell her that we were no longer together?
