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Spreading his hands in a gesture of harmlessness, he explained, “I’m not looking to become part of the family, take over your position as sef or anything like that. My mother recently passed, and since the moratorium on my silence is over, I thought it was time to expand our tiny family. Considering we share the same blood.”
A laugh started to bubble deep inside me. This man was a level of naïve that was almost unreal, and…oddly endearing. It was obvious that he didn’t have a dirty bone in his body. So very unlike me and my father. And yet, he knew about the inner workings of the Lupu clan by the way he casually mentioned sef, the Romanian word for boss.
Maybe my father had created an alternate reality with his other family. I could appreciate why he might be motivated to do that. Wasn’t that what was so alluring about Nina? A vestige of purity and, with it, a hope of tranquility in the sea of violence that was our daily lives.
Should I be more shocked and offended in learning my father had a second family? Perhaps, but a few things mitigated it. He was an OG, a sef who’d built this empire in America from scratch. He’d done his duty to his clan by marrying my mother. Second families weren’t unheard of in the old county, not that they were commonplace by any means. Maybe I was a bit unhinged after losing Nina, but discovering that my father wasn’t perfect added another chink to the crack that began when Tasa left us.
Instead of disturbed, I felt…free?
A heavy weight was suddenly lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in eight years, except for when I was with Nina, I could breathe. I could step out of the shadow of the man I tried to replicate in every aspect of my leadership and life. This exemplar of perfection had a ridiculously huge stain on his soul. Learning that he had clay feet was liberating.
And it changed things in a fundamental manner. If I introduced Sebastian as my half brother to our clan, that would open things up in ways I could barely wrap my head around.
“This is quite something,” I said. “If I understand you correctly, you don’t want to usurp me, you don’t want money, and you don’t want a position in the family. Then what do you want?”
“Oh, you know, friendship. Brotherhood,” he quipped with a little smirk playing on his lips, teasing me for my jadedness. “I’m aware that someone in your position doesn’t trust easily, but I’m less of an outsider than you think. Dad didn’t hide who he was from us, not even the fact that he had another family. We knew about each of you. There were photos of you guys around the house. My mother was a hippie. She didn’t buy into bourgeois morality and hypocrisy. She accepted him for who he was. Didn’t expect anything from him except honesty and mutual respect.”
“Honesty?” I choked out. “That’s rich considering they were both lying to my mother.”
“Assuming your mother didn’t know about us,” he replied.
I swiped my hand over my eyes. This is where things could start to get dicey. My protectiveness over my mother was paramount. That could easily become a black or white issue, especially for Nicu. He was such a mama’s boy.
He held up his hands. “I’m not saying I know everything about their relationship. Nor was it perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. It sure wasn’t normal, but my mother was big into living your best life without the normal constraints that hampered people. Knowing her, I’m sure she tried to get Dad to tell your mother.
“Look, I didn’t come to make trouble. Emma and I could’ve gone on as we were, but it seemed like a missed opportunity for everyone involved. Dad would’ve wanted us to come together. Family and children meant everything to him, and he wouldn’t have wanted his faults to divide us. That’s why he asked me to wait until I was older before coming forward. We wouldn’t be so emotional and might figure out how to make the best of this.”
Sebastian’s description of Tata was eerily accurate. He would’ve wanted us to be together, especially Tasa and Emma. He always said that our lifestyle was hardest on Tasa because she didn’t have a sister to commiserate with. I wondered if he had similar feelings toward Emma. And whether he’d dreamed of the half sisters coming together and becoming a support system.
My mind started ticking away in its efficient, businesslike manner. Opening up our closed society wouldn’t be a bad idea, either. Eyeing Sebastian carefully, I wondered if he could be of use to us. We lived in a small, insulated society with a limited amount of trustworthy manpower. I could always use a good man. If he knew about Tata’s activities, then I wouldn’t be against integrating him.
Once I was sure of his loyalty. But there were ways to test loyalty and rituals to seal it tight. I should let him go on his way. Dismiss him and tell him to never grace my doorstep again, but already my brain was piecing together ways to make it work. It was obvious the man was intelligent and educated. I could do far worse than to bring him into the fold. As for his sister…
“And Emma?”
His eyes turned shrewd as if he’d already read my mind. “She’s someone you might be interested in meeting, not only for the fact that she’s your blood.”
“Ahh. Why is that?”
“She’s brilliant. She’s a super nerd with a superior IQ, and she’s a computer geek.”
Hmm, interesting.
Beyond interesting.
“There’s much for me to think about,” I declared, already formulating the first step in my mind. “Ever been to a baie turceascabefore?”
“You mean a Turkish bath? Many times,” he replied. “Although, I should warn you. I’m not fluent in Romanian.”
I gave him a little shrug. “That shouldn’t be a problem. Then our next meeting shall be at the Turkish bath. There’s one in Queens that’s part of the Lupu family businesses.”
Let’s see how you do, I thought to myself.
With that, I shook my new half brother’s hand. He gripped it firmly, without making it a competition. Once I determined he could be trusted, I had work to do. This would be tricky.
But worth it, I reminded myself. It was worth it just to have a reminder of Tata’s imperfection by my side. Unlike me, with an American mother, Sebastian was free from the bounds of the family. Perhaps he was a talisman of what my life might one day resemble. If I exposed this secret to the clan, which I would have to do if I introduced Sebastian and Emma, I’d ruthlessly pivot it to my advantage.
I waited until he was gone before hurrying downstairs to check if Nina had already passed by on her way home. Even if I’d missed her, this meeting almost made it worth it. For the first time, I had a newfound sense of hope. It reminded me of a Chinese proverb Nina had once told me. If the winds of change blow, some people build walls, others build windmills. There was a change in the wind, and I was determined to harness its flow for my own purpose.
