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ChapterTwenty-Four
I let myself in through the back door of my family’s home into the kitchen, where I found who I was looking for. Bunica. If anyone knew about Sebastian and Emma, it would be her. Standing by the large wooden table in the center of the kitchen, she was chopping onions, carrots, and celery for her famous meatball sour soup. I’d seen her make this soup thousands of times. A large bowl with a mixture of ground beef and pork sat alongside her, along with an egg, rice, and herbs for the meatballs.
She glanced up from chopping for a brief second before returning to her task. I moved toward her, kissing her on the cheek before settling my hip against the thick wooden edge of the butcher-block table.
“How long have you known?” I asked without preamble, watching carefully to see her initial reaction.
Her eyes met mine and held them for a long moment as she tried to decipher how much I knew. With a long sigh, she replied, “Sebastian. Finally. I told him he didn’t need to wait until he turned twenty-five, but I soon figured out he was using that as an excuse.”
I inclined my head in acknowledgment of her admission. “How long?”
“A few years before your father’s death. My son was a good man, but he made some foolish choices in his lifetime. Things that weren’t worthy of his wife,” she added, pressing her lips together in a thin line. Although, Tata was her son, she and my mother had an especially close relationship. “Who goes and falls in love with a fickle and silly woman like that American when he has a fine wife at home?” she asked, shaking her head in dismay.
“He knew his life was in danger when he moved in on Bratva territory, and so he told me. I’ve been part of Sebastian’s and Emma’s lives since then. It was hard to accept his double life, full of lies and deceit, but I had no choice. I never forgave him for that, you know? That and keeping the children separated.”
“Does Mama know?” he rasped out.
“I’m pretty sure she does. That other woman wasn’t subtle with her stupid notion that they could be one happy family and share the same man. She doesn’t know Romanian women, the witch. I stayed out of it and focused on the children. But your mama dropped a hint here or there. She has a good idea,” she clarified.
“I’m in shock, Bunica,” I admitted. There were many things I anticipated in my life, but stumbling upon an extra sibling or two wasn’t one of them.
“I bet you are,” she said, a resigned shake of the head. Grabbing a skinned potato, she hacked at it with her chopping knife. “You worshiped the ground your father walked on, even when he didn’t deserve it. You sacrificed Nina to marry Nelu’s daughter so you could honor your oath to your father. But neither of those men deserve your sacrifice. Your father made little effort when it came to keeping it in his pants. And you gave in too easily to Nelu. I’ve known that man my entire life, his father before that, and his grandfather from when I was a girl. The Popescus are a dishonorable family, every last one of them.”
“Cristo may be horrible, but Stegan beat him to a pulp. Regardless of his lack of personal qualities, he will be a prince, first and foremost. That needed to be made right,” I defended. A pit in my stomach yawned open. Christ, Bunica knew about Nina and didn’t condone my decision. That hit me hard in the solar plexus. I straightened my spine, more determined than ever to exploit my father’s transgression for my own use. Soon every Lupu would know that Tata had had a second family, another set of full-grown children.
I had to talk to Mama and see where she was with this. Although, I knew she’d ultimately accept my decision, if only for the business angle of bringing Sebastian on board, it was my duty as the eldest to make this okay for her. Besides gaining two siblings, the upside to dredging up this soap opera was that it freed me to do what I wanted. Bowing out of my engagement would pale in comparison to this scandal.
I’d thought this through for a long time and decided I’d free Catalina from marrying a man who cared nothing for her. My heart was with Nina, not that it’d change my situation beyond that. My stomach twisted in revolt, but I pushed through the agony because I realized I’d done the right thing to push Nina away. Right for her, at least. She deserved more from life than to be trapped with a mafie king like me. The notion left me hemorrhaging in my gut, but I was determined to do what was best for her, dammit. She was a bright ray of sunshine, and my darkness, the darkness of my world, would only dim her light. I’d never forgive myself for that.
I grasped something important from my father’s betrayal. I didn’t need to be perfect for my clan, like my father had been. But I did need to be perfect for my mate, the one l loved above all else, the way my father hadn’t. Nina was all I wanted, more than ever now that we were apart. I didn’t know how I was going to make it without her, but I was damn well going to try. For her sake, not mine.
“There were other ways instead of agreeing to his extreme demands,” she countered.
Focusing back on my grandmother, I was curious about something. “How did you find out about me and Nina anyway?”
“Pfft, I’m not blind. And that girl is good for you, even if she isn’t Romanian mafie. I’m the first to respect tradition, but that doesn’t mean following it blindly. It’s clear as day you were meant for each other.”
“Says the woman who had an affair,” I retorted. It was a well-known story that Bunica and my grandfather had fallen in love and had had an affair before finally leaving their respective spouses.
“An affair with the man I fell in love with, who happened not to be my husband at the time,” she returned with a wink. “But we fixed the situation. We both divorced our spouses and remarried. Neither of us had children, so the casualties were manageable. Sometimes allowances have to be made for true love. I would’ve wronged my husband by staying married to him when I’d fallen in love with another man. Think of the girl,” she said with a little shrug.
Turning on the stove, she poured olive oil into a large pot and threw some vegetables in, sautéing them. Once she was satisfied, she added tomato paste and water.
“What I’m saying is that you can fix this now that you realize that your tata wasn’t as holy as you made him out to be. He made bad mistakes, and while I agree that it’s worthwhile to work with Nelu, you gave up too much. Don’t do something you’ll regret only to prove to yourself that you followed in your father’s footsteps. I’m glad Sebastian finally came around and showed you what’s what.”
My jaw tightened. “It’s not that simple. The woman you call ‘the girl’ knows this is not and will never be about love. I can’t simply break off my engagement with Nelu, and honestly, Nina is better off without me,” I finished, the bitter bile of my words coating my tongue.
Seriously though, it was pure selfishness on my part to try to keep Nina. She deserved a normal life, not with someone like me. My life was intertwined with violence. There were days when I came home with blood on my hands. Literally, caked with dried blood that I scrubbed off in the sink using a little brush. I fiddled with my cuff links, turning the square of gold to align with the seam of my jacket. What kind of life was that to offer her? I wasn’t going to hide it from my spouse so it was better to marry someone who knew how dark my soul was. How tainted it was from the get-go.
I tried to focus on what a good thing I was doing but I was fucking miserable. Yes, I had my family and the businesses, but I was tired. Even before Nina and I got together, life had lost its flare. Now I knew what was missing. Nina. She gave my life new meaning. My drive had returned because I wanted to provide for her and, eventually, our children. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to love her, leaving no doubt that I owned her heart and she owned mine.
I’d found my calling when we came together. When her security and happiness was my priority. I was built to protect her, and not doing that shriveled my soul. Which was why I still had one of my guys trailing her, letting me know her every move.
Picking out a dollop of the ground meat and molding it into a meatball in the palm of her hand, my grandmother broke into my brooding with a question. “What’s happening with Tasa?”
Good question. That was another fucking mess I couldn’t seem to fix. I’d sent out several soldiers, along with Tasa’s former bodyguard, Nikki, to search for her.
“Nikki’s disappeared. He was somewhere Upstate. Told me he was in Albany already, even though the GPS I stashed in his phone last sighted him in a town called Poughkeepsie. Apparently, she passed through there. My contact last heard from him a few days ago, but since then, nothing. I have the Costa Nostra watching every city up north. I also have people combing through Montreal, but no one’s seen her.”
