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“Yes, yes, I am,” she confided smugly.
“Don’t you know better than to admit that? I’m your older brother. You should at least pretend not to gloat.”
“Older brother, my ass. I could pretend…but then that would be a lie. I wouldn’t want to wound your ego with such a false show of sympathy,” she trilled. “Stop deflecting. Out with it, what did you do?”
I winced, not wanting to rehash what had happened, but I could only get her advice on how to fix it by revealing my stupidity. “She thinks I should’ve apologize for beating up Cristo, because I embarrassed her. Tasa, the fucker laid a hand on my woman. He knew about me and Jewel, laid a trap for me, and I fell for it. She said I humiliated her. Then I royally fucked up. I didn’t listen to her, I ordered her around, and tried to lie to her. It was a clusterfuck, only made worse by the fact that it happened at the Popescus’. Cat is alright, but her brother’s a fucking monster,” I complained.
“I shouldn’t have to remind you to be extra vigilant around him, little brother. He’s a sneaky one, like all the Popescus. You need to be more like Alex. Think. Anticipate. Pounce. Our families may technically be at peace, but they can’t be trusted. Cat’s different, but that’s as close to a miracle as one can get. She makes Luca happy, so I have nothing against her, but the rest of them are snakes,” she concluded, echoing my own sentiments.
Returning to the subject of Jewel, I admitted, “I fucked up, and my pride wouldn’t allow me to admit my mistake during our argument. Now she thinks I’m a hothead who reacts on impulse, and she’s not wrong. It took years to shed that image. One blip in my control, and now I’m back to being the reckless one again.” A sigh rattled out of my chest. “She accused me of not taking her feelings into account. And she was right.”
Panic sliced through me. What if I couldn’t convince her that the man who’d raged and beaten-up Cristo wasn’t the real me? That I wasn’t that out-of-control kid I used to be. If I hated that part of myself, how could she love me despite it? I’d only made a bad situation worse by letting my mouth run off without thinking.
“Hey,” Tasa chided me softly. “You’re an incredible man, Nicu. And I’m not just saying that because you’re my brother. Yes, you have your faults. You have a temper, and you can be stubborn at times, but I don’t know a single person who loves as hard as you do. You give your entire heart, no holds barred. Do you know how rare that is? If she can’t see what you have to offer, then screw her.”
Tasa was right. When I loved, I loved unconditionally and wholeheartedly. Without reservations. I didn’t just love Jewel. I was in love with her. The thought of not having her in my life set my pulse racing in a mad rush. I’d fucking lose it if she shut me out. I could barely handle it in the beginning. I could never tolerate it now.
Space to calm down, I was willing to give her. Space forever? No fucking way.
Dong.
The chime went off, followed by the seat belt sign lighting up. I finished my conversation with Tasa as the stewardess came down the aisle to prepare for landing. We flew over the crisscross grid of Los Angeles, with a blue mountain range in the background. A hazy sun rose into the sky, illuminating the smog over the city skyline.
It wasn’t New York, I thought as the plane descended. Outside of flying and racing, I never left New York.
Any yet, here I was.
* * *
I didn’t need a chaperone,but it was comforting to see Tatum’s familiar face at the terminal. As soon as we settled into the smooth leather seats of his black Range Rover, he asked, “Damn, Nicu, what the hell happened?”
Tatum didn’t like things out of sorts, which meant he was already stressed enough with the growing tensions he was experiencing with the Hagi. The man was charming, erudite, and clever. Like a snake charmer, he could usually manipulate people into doing whatever he wanted, which meant things were dire if he was incapable of settling flaring tempers.
His reaction didn’t surprise me, considering Tatum was essentially an extension of Alex. He was also the most even-keeled, self-possessed man I knew, so he couldn’t relate to what I was going through. He would never find himself in my situation, losing his shit over a woman.
“You know better than to let Cristo get to you,” Tatum chided. He massaged his forehead. “Believe me, I feel your pain. I’m living through my own version of hell with a miniature Cristo, only this one is in the form of a female. I get it. For once, I get it.”
I did a double take. “Say what?” I peered closer, inspecting him attentively.
“I’ve never had to deal with such an infuriating, irrational, and completely impossible woman before. So confrontational,” he muttered under his breath.
The corner of my mouth popped in a smirk. “A woman, you say?”
“Did I say woman? Female, perhaps, but more like a she-devil. I highly suspect she only uses her fine-ass figure to lure men into her lair so she can devour them whole. Like a black widow. She’s a monster.”
“Who’s the mystery woman who’s put you, of all people, in a tizzy?”
“The Hagi princess. Clara.” He did a fake shudder. “Oh, you may find her attractive, with her smooth dark hair and big eyes, but don’t let her faux innocence fool you. She may look like a doll, but she hisses like a viper. And like Cristo, she has beef with us over Simu’s death.” He snorted. “As if that could’ve been helped. I’ve explained to her time and again that it was an unavoidable kill. He had his fingers around Luca’s throat, choking him, when he was shot.”
Tatum glanced over at me with a hard look on his face. “And for the love of all that’s holy, do not mention you were the one to pull the trigger on Simu, or everything Sebastian and I have worked for over the past couple weeks will go to hell. I’m warning you; I have to get the fuck out of here before I lose my mind. I need to get back to the city. The sunlight here is killing me. Killing me,” he emphasized.
I peered over at him curiously, never having witnessed him this…flustered before. “How does she have a say in anything? I mean, she’s a mafie princess. Since when are they involved in the business end of things?”
“Dear God, you’re going to quickly learn that things are different out here. They’re so-called ‘reformed,’” he air-quoted with his fingers. “Not traditional, like us, or so she revels in reminding me, time and again. The first time I questioned why she was at a meeting, she cut her father off midsentence to answer me. I’ve never seen anything like it. Did her father reprimand her or anything? Not at all. Turns out, it doesn’t matter that she’s a woman. Her younger brother can’t become ?ef, so I don’t know what the hell they plan on doing, but I can tell you that she’s deeply involved in every decision of her clan. There’s an added wrinkle because Clara and her father’s consilier work in tandem, and you remember who that is, don’t you?”
“Simu’s uncle.” I grunted out.
“Although the term ‘uncle’ is a bit of a misnomer. Technically, yes, he’s Simu’s uncle, but he was much younger than Simu’s father. With only a five-year difference between them, he and Simu were raised like brothers.”
